Young Writers Society

I am beginning a book about my ancestors who came over on the first fleet as convicts. I have in my posession a wonderful book detailing all the facts and figures about them, however there is something lacking in it. I want to fill that gap and write their story. It will be a historically accurate account but a fictional story. Does that make sense?

To begin with, I need a little help...

Here is the first paragraph:

The open cart creaked incessantly as it bumped and rattled its way over the windswept moor. The five prisoners, who were seated in the tray and bound by chains, gazed dully at their surroundings. Their thoughts were muddled, they felt confused and alone, their future is uncertain. One of the prisoners found tears slipping down his cheeks as he began to remember how the week had started, before the sentence.

However it will be odd to change it to first person after this, so if I wrote it in first in the first place (lol), it would be like this:

The open cart creaks incessantly as it bumps and rattles its way over the windswept moor. I am one of five prisoners, who are seated in the tray and bound by chains. The others are gazing dully at their surroundings. Their thoughts are probably muddled, and like me, they must feel confused and alone as our future is uncertain. I find tears slipping down my own cheeks as I begin to remember how the week had started, before the sentence.

I've never been very good at knowing what person to write in (or what each one is actually! ), so I hope someone can help me out here!

The seond paragraph is too abrupt, I choose the first. Also, it's very enjoyable to read, love it!

Yes, it does make sense, Boni ^^

However, I see a few grammatical errors in both:

The open cart creaked incessantly as it bumped and rattled its way over the windswept moor. The five prisoners, who were seated in the tray and bound by chains, gazed dully at their surroundings. Their thoughts were muddled, they felt confused and alone, their future is uncertain. One of the prisoners found tears slipping down his cheeks as he began to remember how the week had started, before the sentence.

It should be *"their future was uncertain" because it's in past tense.

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Here's the main difference between 1st and 3rd POV

1st person is more personal, and also unreliable because the story is however the narrator sees it. However, it is more emotional, and if emotional is what you're going for or getting inside the head of the MC, then 1st person is what you want. It's also usually best to use 1st person POV if your MC is sarcastic or witty.

3rd person is if you're story is broad and you want to be the voice thundering from the sky, telling the whole tale. It's easier for the readers to see what everything looks like, but they won't really get an insight to what the MC sees things as unless they hear their thoughts.

If it's about a particular ancestor, then you could do 1st person. You could do it in past tense if it were a journal or the narrator retelling the tale.

If it's about more than one ancestor, go with 3rd person.

Make sure to get those tenses right ^^

-Shina

Historical fiction = <3

The first paragraph is in third-person, and I like that one better because I feel it gives a nostalgic, long-long-ago flavor to the writing. Though really it's up to you to decide which one you like best.

Thankyou winie, angels and Trikky! I appreciate your feedback. I think I will go with the first paragraph I posted - in third person

Ok, I posted the first rough chapter in 'Historical Fiction'.
I'm glad to be back writing, but don't really feel as if I've gotten 'into the swing' of it yet... I'm not really happy with what I've written so far as I'm trying to make it real without going off the real storyline. Unfortunately because 'Roberts' is a common name in England it is sooo difficult to find any real facts about birth place/date, where he grew up, what his trade was etc!! In fact, I have none of those details! however, I'm really looking forward to getting the project underway, and am looking forward to sharing the writing journey with you all!