Young Writers Society

Ha. I say unfinished because it'll probably be the case. I have many projects floating about. Kind of nice actually because I just move from one to the next when I'm bored of the current story.

Anyway, I'm trying my hand at a novella, having never wrote one before.

*

I've had a story stirring around in this empty shell of a head for a couple of days. I'm not sure who my main character will be or how he will act, except that it's will be a dude and I will use First Person POV.

The title just barely dawned on me, like twenty minutes ago. Proctor is the title, and yes, I'm sorry I haven't been very versatile in a few years but I'm sticking to "what I know," thus the period will be the 1700s.

I'm excited to take on Valley Forge as my setting and my main character will be dropped in the dead of winter inside the Fort's walls.

I should exeriment more with the British Army in terms of writing but hey, this is fun too. No one has tried writing about Valley Forge yet, so here I go.

That's all I know as of now.

Thanks for reading.

I still haven't began writing. Haven't started researching either. Some historical-fiction writer I am, huh?

I do have a brief outline in my head. A lone soldier is sitting outside, back leaned against a wall of sorts. His head is sagging, almost hunched downward. I see his breathe in light, white whisps as he exhales.

Washington walks by and spots the soldier. His expression is purposeful but it's melencholy. He bends down and briefly inspects his man. Shortly, he shakes his head in disgust and walks away, muttering, "Another one lost."

The soldier exhales once more, and coughs. The sounds are ragged and hoarse. "I... live." He coughs again.

It's begun!

I started the Prologue today.

Uh... the dialect is very odd. Then again, if you've read any of my historical fiction stories, it's never really or fully modern.

Here's an excerpt:

So miserable a place as this, he thought despairingly.

I lift me head but wince and again, I surrender, letting it slump sluggishly to one side. I hear me own breath as well and tis unnatural to me one’s own self that I recall. Tis ragged or bewitched in some respects. Never before should I think air would sound that of a rattle of ye babe’s toy in thy crib but here I sit and I hear rattling in me owns chest every time I exhale. If I should sub come to, in which awaits us all, I suppose inside these walls of the Fort, I pray my demise be peaceful; I shall not unite with the others in pain as they suffer the fever and grow welts of sorts that penetrate from flesh. Perhaps sickness might be me last escape if tranquility does not bless me soul for thy starvation or the feeling of veins going so numb and cold, I shall never know or wake to witness another sunrise.

I love when people use period dialect for period stories, but some of your usages are ... a little odd? The phrase "ye babe’s toy in thy crib", for instance -- thy is a 2nd person informal/intimate singular, and "ye" is "the", so you're saying "the babe's toy in your crib". It's a metaphor; whose crib? I feel like it'd be more natural to say "the baby's toy in its crib" or "his crib".

Have you ever read any Ann Rinaldi? She writes a lot of YA set in this time period, so it might be worth looking at the kind of speech her characters use. And of course, folks who were writing in that time period as well; Washington Irving's a little late, and I don't know of any fiction writers in America before him, but you might look at letters or memoirs/autobiographies to get a feel for the voice.

Good luck! It sounds like an interesting project.

Hey Merricat!

Yes, my usages for the this store is way odd, lol. I didn't plan the way this character ended up talking. It sort of, just, developed... So I went with it.

Question though. I actually have read lots and lots of diaries, documents, etc., from "their own tongue," and it was always my understanding that:

Thy = meant "the," and
Ye = meant "you."

May I ask where you got your definations if "thy" and "ye" from? I'd be very interested in reading. Thank you!

Oh, and yes. The crib with a baby's rattle was a metephore to show the character's own illness. I'm only in the beginning stages. Still have kinks to work out. If you like HF, most of my portfolio is just that, lol!

I have not read or heard of Ann Rinaldi. Apologies.

Thanks for reading here and your advice. Writing this project is going to be fun, I think? I seem to have an uncanny way of making them suffer to no end... (No, I sound callous).

Cheers!

There. The Prologue has been posted.

We love first drafts, don't we?

Ah...good luck Sam. I've written maybe eight or nine (Ten?) novellas in my ten years of writing. It's actually a lot less irritating to have to deal with than a full-blown novel, to be honest. Though i work on novels now, and not novellas.

In any case, I wish you well in your endeavors.

Thanks very much, Krupp.

Proctor is advancing nicely. I'm really growing fond of Pvt. Alex Proctor. He's had a few hard knocks in life and so it seems, he bonded with the most unlikely person. An eighteen year old, named Zackariah or "Zack" for short. At first, I thought Alex thought of Alex as a good friend but as I progressed to Chapter Three, I see now the relationship between the two is more defined.

It appears that Alex is "acting out," at the loss of a close friend from his childhood but I see now that though the two are good friends, Alex is pulling the Father routine on Zack.

This should be entertaining.

*

I do not want to see the end now. I dred the outcome.

"Proctor" is finished. Now, the editing and possible re-writes commence!

I have, for weeks, been toying with the idea of including illistrations with this novella. Since I first chose to use imagery and a little description (I'm not fond of describing), I think I have created a realistic foundation for the reader to enter my world and see, feel and know what I felt as I breathed life into the main character. Now, if I chose to use illistrations, it might very well enhance the overall enjoyment of this story - maybe...


[Cover]

(1)
or (2)

[Prologue]

(No Picture Chosen Yet)


[Argyle]

(No Picture Chosen Yet)


[The March]




[Into the Valley of the Shadow of Death]




Those are the photos I was concidering. Expect many changes.

In the end, when I'm completely finished, I think I may bound the book myself in felt. I may also even go so far as printing the final story on "period" looking paper just to give it that certain ... feel.

Hey Jess,

New stuff from you is always exciting, it helps me slack somewhat my never ending historical fiction binge, and I promise to get around to reading Proctor very soon.

Do you read The Dreamer? - I was reading it the other day and I thought of you.

And you finished it. That is amazing! I wish I could finish something.



Much luck,
Cal.

Hey, CL!

Yay! Yes, I finished, for once!

Ahh.... Thanks. I guess I found my niche, and I just stick to it. It's what I like for the period, so why change old habits? I hope you like "Proctor."

I have not seen "Dreamer" but I'll definitely check it out.

I've aanother possible picture I may use for the cover. The bayonet and sword are both original to the 1700s. The cannonball is real too but what period? Beats me. Everything is lying on my breeches.