Young Writers Society

Hey, everyone on YWS.

I've been working ideas for a new story in my spare time and was wondering if you could provide some feedback because I'm not sure if it is any good.

Promethean Chronicles: Book 1

Setting

The story takes place on the large continent of Promethea, on the world of Terra.

Promethea - a supercontinent-like landmass that stretches from the northern to southern hemisphere of the planet terra. its design resembles Europe merged with North America with the southern part scattered into an archipelago of islands. While humanity is the dominant species, there are other races that dwell within it like dwarves and elves. While magic exists in the world, it is performed by a handful of magicians based on an abnormal organ within the brain. Each magician has a name and status within different races like Sage for the humans and Priest for the elves. In its past, when the world was still young, the surface of the continent was said to have been sculpted from the remains of the demiurge Maelstrox Daemorius by the Titans after he failed to rebel against Ordfruma the Creator, while his soul was banished into the Forsaken Realms (I know. I know. it sounds like the rebellion of Morgoth and the rise of the dark lord from the Silmarillion. I'm still working on it.)

Uropia - One of the major human kingdoms and where most of the first few books take place. it is a feudal society ruled under the religious guidance of the Fellowship of Ordfruma. Uropia is ruled by the powerful Elmsford House with the Old of the Uropian Knights acting as their enforcers. Despite appearing seemingly stable, there is some corruption within the Royal Court such as bloated bureaucracy and theocratic dogma. There's even racial stigmatism within the empire, especially towards the elves due to past grudges, along with secret slave networks within the nobility through the black markets. Inspired by the Holy Roman Empire.

The Elysian Empire - an ancient empire that was once ruled by the elves. the empire fell around 900 years ago right after the death of Apollo St. Yarden and the defeat of the Eldritch Lord.Because of the elves warped sense of perfection and beauty, the empire's structured on elven supremacy and eugenics, killing off the "impure" while enslaving the non-elven races like humans and dwarves. It was ruled by the High Elves (Not ethereal or divine, and are only powerful by name and status) who believe themselves to be descended from the gods themselves. It also held a caste system with the high elves on top, the wood elves in the middle, and the dark elves at the bottom. It was destroyed by both in-fighting within the nation and constant assaults at the boarders by an alliance of non-elven races.

Book One Premise

The first installment features the main protagonist Michael Andrews who was a former squire to Sir Stewart from Uropia until his death at the hands of the Eldritch Lord. From the trauma of witnessing his master and brigade's demise, Michael has fallen into depression and continues to wander the world, becoming a knight-errant and trying to cope with such hardships.

Along the way, he meets Aileena--an elven thief who tried to rob him--who becomes his companion after almost trying to kill him because of the Utopian sigil on the former squire's chest. She helps him get through with his demons, and vice versa, while financially working together to make a lot of money as they join an adventurer guild and take up enough quests to earn a living (kind of MMORPG thing with this part).

Then on one of their quests to a dungeon that mysteriously appeared (dungeons tend to do that because of an enchantment that causes them to migrate throughout the continent) and started raiding it, Michael discovered thePendragon sword that was wielded by the legendary Apollo St. Yarden who was famous for slaying the Eldritch Lord a thousand years ago. On that day, Michael and Aileena's destinies have changed, much to their chagrin, and must prepare for the ultimate battle against not only the Eldritch Lord but the other Dreaded Ones and their master Maelstrox Daemonius.

Format/Concept/Tense/Perspective

Like most of my stories, it will be in first person through the eyes and mouth of Michael Andrews. However, the story will shift into Omniscient Third-Person (such a method is easier for me).

Theme

The story features typical fantasy tropes like destiny, magic, quests, and good vs evil. However, many of these tropes will be slightly deconstructed to align it more with Dark Fantasy and focus on some psychological depth for the characters. much of the story tends to have an anime-esque feel (as much of my stories tend to be) and tends to play on the RPG stories like Sword art Online and Goblin Slayer. Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones were also inspirations to the story from their intricately structured history, references to real world problems, to the dark and mesmerizing literary forms throughout each book.

The story is based on the Nietzschean quote: That which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Most of the characters have featured some sort of trauma and predicament, which draws them together and allowing them to grow as people with the help of one another. Joesph Campbell's Hero Journey is featured with Michael, or some of the characters, being shaped by their environment, becoming either the best or the worst of their characters.

Major themes are friendship, romance, existentialism, declining empires, heroism, free will and predeterminism.

Any of you got any thoughts and how should I make this better? -_^

- Kman134