Young Writers Society

So I randomly got an idea that I might use for Last Man Standing, but I wanted to see if it was offensive to anyone before I used it. It is basically about a guy discovering his bisexuality, even after having built an identity off of being gay.

Lex is a senior in high school. He has had several serious boyfriends, whom he's pretty sure he completely loved. He finds the guys in the hallway attractive. His friends, all boys, are perfectly comfortable around him and enjoy his company-- but they all assume he is gay. In fact, Lex does too. Then Mila comes into his life. Lex knows what it's like to fall in love, and suddenly it hits him again. Has everything before this been fake? Lex can't like Mila, because he likes boys. Right?

Does this work? What am I missing? Would you read this?

EDIT: Sorry for my terrible blurb-ing skills I don't mean for it to sound like you need to fall in heterosexual love to be happy. I just recently read about a bi guy who fell for a girl and felt his identity leave and wanted to address it. Thank you for all your help

You're missing making him more than a gay stereotype.

He comes across very much like a sassy gay friend, the exact type of guy that is nothing but gay, that shows up in all-female friends circles as "the honorary girl because into boys and likes fashion." He's also... I don't quite know how to word this, but coming across as very flighty and commitment-phobic, which is a huge negative stereotype against gay men.

You're also running the risk of trivializing his attraction to men by having him (appear to) fall in deeper love with a girl, the first girl he's ever loved. His flighty and commitment-phobic nature (eg- his lack of boyfriend, flirts-with-everyone, kisses-everyone personality) doesn't show up with girls, which makes him look like his gayness was just experimentation and his true love was a girl.

There's nothing wrong with writing flighty and commitment-phobic gay (or bi!) characters, but the fact you're not making him behave the same way around both types of attraction and appear to be actually serious with a girl has huge unfortunate implications. Namely, "gay people are really straight, they just need to find the right het partner and fall deeply in love with them."

I would not read this based on the premise here.

I'm reminded of this, but with the concept flipped a bit (spoilered in case there's anything inappropriate, thought I don't think there should be?):



Yeah, I'm interested in the story - questions about sexuality are both relevant and interesting topics to cover - but I'm concerned by "built an identity off of being gay." That could readily stray into the stereotypical, I think, depending on how you choose to define gay. Rosey goes into that better than I could.

It could also be interesting to have built an identity off of being gay. He could have fit into the stereotypes because it was the best way to get people to accept them and now it's been so long they've become part of him. That would deal with the fact that stereotypes are harmful and that they can be internalised. Realising that you don't fit the box you've found for yourself would I imagine be very scary.

I like the idea in general though. There's a whole load of biphobia and bi-erasure out there that it would be nice to see a story confronting. Just be careful that his bisexuality is not his only character trait, and it would probably be best to include some other conflicts and plot-lines in his life.

I'm on the side of the fence (hahaha) that's gonna say that a teen building his identity on being gay is super acceptable as long as it's addressed as something that needs complexity. When I was a closeted teen, I was the stereotype without knowing it. In college, I broke that down and really forged who I wanted to be as a person.

So where I'm standing, I see Lex's story as an opportunity to build all of that in a narrative that flips the coming out story on its head, and I totally support you. Just please address biphobia and bi-erasure. I know it'd mean a ton to a lot of people out there.

Just want to pop in and say I love this idea! As a bisexual lady with a male partner, I feel a similar internal struggle as I've only ever dated men (can't be bi if I've never dated a woman can I???? Well, of course I can).

You'll of course want to be delicate and ensure that Lex isn't made happier or more acceptable by liking this girl over any of the boys he's loved. They are all valid and real feelings and experiences. I adore exploring Lex's struggle over what it means to have his identity challenged.

For example, I'd say I love my current partner more fully and complexly than I've loved past partners (because I've aged and grown as a person), but that doesn't erase the fact I loved and was attracted to my past partners.

We're all fluid, and have the right to change our minds and grow and explore. It's good to reinforce that in fiction!

I think the part of your synopsis that worries me most is this:

He has had several serious boyfriends, whom he's pretty sure he completely loved.

This kind of sets alarm bells off, because it feels like you're gearing up to him realising that he loves this girl Mila more than he could've ever loved his previous boyfriends. Which means you run the risk of trivialising one side of his sexuality, as well as perpetuating the myth that bisexual people have to pick a side.

In outline, I think the idea you have here could be interesting. I'm kind of in the opposite situation to Lex; I spent my teen years being comfortably confident that I was straight, only to be blindsided by a massive crush on a woman in recent months. I think your story could really tap into the fact that sexuality is not at all predictable. We often make assumptions about our own identities that we don't want to see challenged, so we ignore or write off attraction that doesn't 'fit' with what we know of ourselves - which is harmful, obviously. This kind of novel could really explore that.

But, like the others have said, you must make sure that Lex is more than a stereotype. His attraction to men might be a big part of his identity, but it shouldn't be the only thing. I also urge you to not write off his attraction to men as less significant. Fair enough if he loves Mila more than he's loved anyone else, but it should be because of who she is as a person - don't reduce it to her gender.

[quote="TheStormAroundMe"]So I randomly got an idea that I might use for Last Man Standing, but I wanted to see if it was offensive to anyone before I used it. It is basically about a guy discovering his bisexuality, even after having built an identity off of being gay.

Response : Actually it wasn't bad idea if you can make it as motivation. I dont mean that I support homosexual or LGBTQ, but it is so essential to write these sexual problems, esp. in story-style.

I PREFER that you can show the Gay could be straight/heterosex. Since I also write the Light Novel about the Otokonoko who struggle to be a real man and atrract the girl he chose, I hope the novel can motivate people that God always give a solution for every problem.

My idea : Lex decided to love everyone he knows nicely; his family, his friends, and Mila. He should be honestly to Mila that he attracted to men and wanted to learn how he love the girls (heterosexually).

In my novel, the girl protagonist is a tomboy/masculine. I just try to make the boy more feminime and you can guess what happen in their love story. Angry Career woman and Weak Father Maid? That's good story i like it. Ha ha

The above reply's interpretation is exactly what I'm talking about, when I said there's a very risky possibility that "gay guy falls in deep love with a girl" can be seen as "gay person is really straight after finding the right person."

You'll have to be pretty explicit he's bisexual and really explore the nuances of bisexual identity re: a heavy preference towards one gender in order to avoid the majority of people making this interpretation, and even then, some people will still refuse to see it. However, if you make it as explicit in text as you can make it, then the responsibility of failing to see it shifts from you not providing enough clues to readers just being willfully ignorant.

Would it be bad to have him in love with Mila and another guy at the same time?

Not necessarily!

There's this thing known as polyamory which basically means you have more than one romantic partner at any given time. There's a lot of misconceptions around that romantic preference so it would be nice to see some more representation for it!

If you mishandled it, tough, you could be reinforcing the idea that bi people can't make up their minds, and/or that they're "players" who are never committing (as much as that's a gay stereotype, it's an even worse bi stereotype).

The problem with such tricky topics is there isn't much representation on them yet. So people tend to judge them more harshly, simply because there's less material to go around and people want what little material exists to be perfect. That's impossible, however, so authors are left stuck in a lurch for awhile.

However! If you want to mitigate a lot of the unfortunate implications, there's a simple solution: have more than one of any given group.

If you have, in any combination:
- An established bi person not discovering their identity who's solidly committed to a partner, you show that not all bi people are like that
- An established gay person who's solidly committed to a partner, you show not all gay people are like that
- A closeted person+ respect given to them

Etc

Then suddenly, Lex isn't the only queer representation, and you're avoiding tokenism.

This sort of thing is a lot more common than you think, especially in high school. Many many many people who just kind of drifted together end up as all being queer, so a friend group of 5-10 ending up all being a mix of bi, gay, lesbian, ace, trans, and just generally queer is really common.

This sort of mix would also alleviate any issue with the "no homophobia" thing, since all his friends would likely be more sensitive by experiencing it.

Just a thought.

TheStormAroundMe wrote:Would it be bad to have him in love with Mila and another guy at the same time?

That wouldn't be bad? But I also can't help feeling like you're just doing this to show Lex favors both genders equally. Sure, I could definitely see a good romance triangle going, but I think it'd be simpler to just emphasize that Lex loved his boyfriends as much as he loves Mila. I mean, that's kind of the whole point, isn't it? Lex goes from considering himself gay to questioning his sexuality around Mila (so that he doubts past relationships), and then comes to terms with his bisexuality. Aaaand also if Lex chooses Mila over a guy you need to handle that very carefully or give off an impression like the one tristovee has four posts above mine.

Polyamory's still a viable route, and I'm not going to diss it. I've read some exceptional stories discussing polyamory (Fans!, I think, sold me on its merits), and it's something I've been planning on writing. But, if that's not the route you'd like Lex to go down, just focus on pointing out his affections rather than showing examples. Despite what some people say, a gay character (for instance) doesn't need to be in a relationship to prove they're gay.

TheSilverFox wrote:

TheStormAroundMe wrote:Would it be bad to have him in love with Mila and another guy at the same time?

That wouldn't be bad? But I also can't help feeling like you're just doing this to show Lex favors both genders equally. Sure, I could definitely see a good romance triangle going, but I think it'd be simpler to just emphasize that Lex loved his boyfriends as much as he loves Mila. I mean, that's kind of the whole point, isn't it? Lex goes from considering himself gay to questioning his sexuality around Mila (so that he doubts past relationships), and then comes to terms with his bisexuality. Aaaand also if Lex chooses Mila over a guy you need to handle that very carefully or give off an impression like the one tristovee has four posts above mine.

Despite what some people say, a gay character (for instance) doesn't need to be in a relationship to prove they're gay.

It will be difficult to say how the gay character could change his love interest/affection after he enjoyed (in extreme case, addicted to) homosexual. In physco-analysis, the person should try to forget his, *cough, wonderful experiences so he can move on to become hetero. Loving female characters will be different from the male one b'coz You need to understand their physical and emotion. You need to study to get your novel comes alive ( AND HAVING GREAT TASTES). Based on my experience helping my friends (cured) is very difficult to say, to write, and to explain how the gay can love the women. Luckily I always know how to "appreciate" his payment with smile.

^ aaaaand more advice to avoid. Homosexuality/bisexuality is 100% a-okay, and there's no need to "correct" it.