Young Writers Society

I dunno if I'm supposed to post this here but I'm struggling so here we go:

The bare basics of my story goes like this. There's a sister who has two younger brothers. The three of them are kept in an organization against their will. One day the sister gets a chance to escape and takes the first brother with her. She could have tried to save the second brother, but she chose not to. As soon as she's out, however, she feels guilty and wants to save him. Years later, she and the first brother are still trying to find ways to save the second brother. The sister is bitter and controlling towards the first brother, so eventually, he leaves and joins another organization that has sworn to take down the organization that's holding his brother.

Ending One (Original Ending):
The first brother ends up fighting the second brother. The battle ends in a draw, and the organization that first brother joined has become corrupt and captures both of the brothers. The first brother is sent on a mission against his will with the second brother as a motivational hostage (blackmail hostage? "We'll kill him if you don't do what we say" hostage?)
The sister ends up breaking in and saving the second brother, and the first brother is saved by a friend of hers. Everyone reunites and makes up and apologizes and sorts out their issues and stuff.

Ending Two (New Ending):
The first brother ends up being captured by the original organization he escaped from and it's up to the sister to save both of her brothers. She saves them through self-sacrifice (she basically dies).

My problems with the first ending...
It's too typical. I don't want everything to work out perfectly in the end. I want the "bad guy" to win a little bit. I don't want my characters to have plot armor (or whatever it's called).

My problems with the second ending...
The sister doesn't resolve her conflicts with her brothers. She never gets to apologize for treating the first brother unfairly, or to the second brother for leaving him behind in the first place. Those conflicts need to be resolved, right? And ending where she just sacrifices herself feels empty, right?

I don't know. But I don't like the conclusions to my plot that I've thought up so far.

If you were to ask me which one or ending I would prefer it would probably be the second as sad as it is I feel like you could do a lot more with it I feel. It doesn’t have to be as hollow unreasolved as it sounds you could have multiple conflicts or resolves come out of it. On the other hand with ending one even though it is a completely resolved ending at least in my opinion it seems more unrealistic and may feel a bit more hollow than ending two if you ask me. If you want the reader never to see that death coming make them the main character, but not if someone else was the main character and she is just for the chapter she dies in. Other than that it sounds like a great plot lots of leg room. Advice on fight scenes (hardest thing to write if you ask me) focus more on the characters feelings and senses then the actual fighting itself. Also give the reader enough room to picture the fighting their own way. That way it’s more enjoyable for everyone (this took me forever to figure out) But sounds great can’t wait to read the real thing.

camusic wrote:If you were to ask me which one or ending I would prefer it would probably be the second as sad as it is I feel like you could do a lot more with it I feel. It doesn’t have to be as hollow unreasolved as it sounds you could have multiple conflicts or resolves come out of it. On the other hand with ending one even though it is a completely resolved ending at least in my opinion it seems more unrealistic and may feel a bit more hollow than ending two if you ask me. If you want the reader never to see that death coming make them the main character, but not if someone else was the main character and she is just for the chapter she dies in. Other than that it sounds like a great plot lots of leg room. Advice on fight scenes (hardest thing to write if you ask me) focus more on the characters feelings and senses then the actual fighting itself. Also give the reader enough room to picture the fighting their own way. That way it’s more enjoyable for everyone (this took me forever to figure out) But sounds great can’t wait to read the real thing.

It's nice to know the second ending isn't as hollow as I thought.
And yes, the sister is going to be pretty much the main character (I'm kinda excited to do a MC death since I've never done one before.) I'll definitely use those fight scene tips. Thanks!

Personally, I really dislike endings where the main character dies, especially ones that leave things unresolved. They tend to feel like a betrayal, like the author wanted to evoke some kind of emotional response from me so they killed my best friend. I much prefer things where the odds are painfully against the MC and they do it anyway.

If you want to avoid plot armour there are a whole host of bad things that can happen in the end without killing your MC. Permanent wounds, hints to characters defecting or turning bad because of the events, irreparable relationships, that kind of thing. Depending on the aim, you could have the bad guys end up with what they want even if it kills them trying.

I do emphasise though that this is a personal preference and there are many people who love a good tragedy. The above advice is if you want something in between a happy ending and a tragic one.

As an added note, I love the timelapse in this plot. I imagine that the divergence of their lifespans will lead the characters to become very different people. The brother being rescued may be nothing like he was when they were younger, which will create an interesting dynamic, especially when finding out what decisions along the way led the MC and her other brother to take different paths towards the end. It sounds like the basis for some really complex character development =]