Young Writers Society

Hey everyone!
So, in Religion class the other day we were reading the Book of Esther and in my post-novel depression (I just finished my first novel and now I don't know what to do with my life!) I got really inspired. What was supposed to be a pretty close retelling has now morphed into a weird mix of the Book of Esther, Cinderella, Black Swan, and some other folk tales with a French spin? Anyways, I hope you like the idea!

Estée's parents both died when she was nine: her mother disappeared into the forest and two weeks later her father killed himself, because the voice in his head, dubbed Antoinette, told him to. Since then, she was raised by her uncle, Mathis.
Now 16, she lives a life as happy as she can possibly be as a poor farmer. But when the King's wife is exiled, he sends out a message inviting all young women in the Kingdom to a feast that lasts three days. During that feast, the King takes a liking to Estée and she is shortlisted to be his new wife.
The King does not choose for another year. In that time, Estée gets swept up into the politics of the palace and uncovers the darker secrets of the kingdom: the secret tortures for the noblemen's pleasure, the assassinations, and the men who really control the kingdom. Estée only has two friends in the palace: her childhood best friend, Gabrielle, and another young woman shortlisted for the King's wife called Antoinette.
At first, Estée does not trust Antoinette for obvious reasons. But Antoinette saves her at one point, and so Estée slowly starts to form a friendship.
But when Estée is chosen as the King's wife, Antoinette becomes distant. In an attempt to make things up to her, Estée hires her as her maid. But Estée soon becomes distracted with the King and his seductive ways. Estée can only push him away so many times.
Meanwhile, Antoinette begins to push at Estée. Under Antoinette's influence, Estée starts to look into the forest that killed her mother, and starts to submit to the King's wishes. But as she uncovers more and more, Estée starts to lose her grip on reality, unable to tell what is and isn't a fantasy...

It's not particularly fleshed out yet, especially not the second half, but I'm really excited to start writing and I'd love to hear all your ideas and comments! Please let me know what you think of this

— Maise

Hi. First off, I want to be honiest, but please know that i'm not being harsh or mean. I mean for this to help you.

I feel that your ideas are cliche. I mean, in many YA books, the main character's parents are dead. Also, your struggle with the kingdom sounds to typical. It seems like everyone is writing about kingdom power struggles ( not EVERYONE, but you get the idea.)

Try and come up with somthing more original....after all, I feel that people gravate towards more original things, than recycled plotlines/ideas. Just my thought.

See if you can put a twist on this idea. Make it uneaque. However, I do find it interesting that your story takes place in France! Run with that idea.

If you need help your welcome to message me.

I really like it! It seems quite fairy-tale-ish, and that's something that I think has been undervalued for a long time but is recently coming back into popularity with the re-emergence of fairy tales being retold for an older audience, (Tv shows like Grimm, The Huntsman movie, Angus Donald's Outlaw).

Estee seems like a pretty solid main character. Despite her circumstances, her inquisition to various things makes her seem much more assertive perhaps than people realise, and that's really cool. It also makes for an interesting plot, since it doesn't feel like there's any real way to know what decisions she will make when the time comes.

On that note- another thing I like is how even though she's in control of herself, much of her life is still governed by things beyond her control- her parents death, the will of the king, e.c.t. In the development of the second half I think it would be good to continue that, to keep the interest of the story twisting and her developing and responding to these influence, and try to avoid letting her plot get lost too much in her own thoughts.

Overall this seems quite exciting, and I look forward to seeing what you can do with it. Tag me if you end up writing it an posting =]