Young Writers Society

This is more of a venting process for me than anything, and I realize that nobody will read it, let alone reply to it. However, since writing is the only thing in which I am somewhat decent (or so I thought, up until today), I need to get this off my chest.

The results came in just now! 9 points, scoring last out of approximately 20 people. There you have it, lads. I'm the worst writer of the bunch, apparently. Ain't that a kick in the head. A kick in the teeth, more like, as I don't know if pursuing writing as a hobby is worth it anymore.

You know the contests, right? Head into the room, take a seat, they give you a grammar test and have you write about some nonsensical topic with a ridiculously low word limit. All in 120 minutes. You know, when I took my exam for the engineering school at which I currently study, it was nothing short of hell. I despise tests, as I always have, and this was no different. Add to that the fact that my mother tongue is extremely difficult. Czech is awful, yet beautiful.

Quite frankly, I didn't know what to write about. I had no idea. Writer's block didn't help much, but then again, maybe I'm just inept all around. Well, I wrote about not being able to write. I suppose it didn't strike a note with the judges. Well, what was I supposed to do, eh? It's one thing to lose, and another to be the very worst. That's that then.

So screw it. I wish I could say that I couldn't care less, but I most certainly could. I guess writing isn't my thing then. All those critiques, all the people who said I was a fair writer, they were lying. I suppose I lied to myself as well, and pushed the thought of being a decent writer into the depths of my mind.

I needed to write this because other writers are some of the only people I feel close to, despite not knowing them personally.

I don't know what'll happen now. I suppose I'll have to forsake it, send them all to hell and find something I'm good at. Here comes another existential crisis, like I haven't had enough of those already... Man, this'll be a fun weekend indeed.

So as a few closing words, screw contests. In fact screw writing as well. Wasted 3 years on it, and that was extremely stupid of me.

Thanks for reading.

So...you lost a competition! Wont that be amazing to say as a speech as you win an award? Isnt that what happened to Jk Rowling and Walt Disney? Constant failure until one day sucess hit?

Do you know how I know you shouldn't stop writing? BECAUSE YOU WROTE ABOUT IT! your out was writing.

Dont see this hobby that we all love as something as simple. You cant quit writing. You have to. In our world, thats how you communicate!!

So, listen to me, an idiot who has thoughts like this all the time, find a passion you love, not one you're good at. The becoming good part will come after.

Head up high and show those judges that you cant be stopped so quickly!

Oh, I thank you for your kind words. However, I'm afraid I can't bring myself to compete any longer. I've competed for so bloody long, and I've never won anything. I'm lucky not to end up last.

The judges can go do something I won't mention here. I have always despised competitions, and this has hopefully been my last attempt. It just ruins your day, you know. Every time. And it's always the people who use "big words" that win. I've been taught that an unintelligible story is useless, and I've been taught to write with as much simplicity as possible, and to avoid overly exotic words. I guess that doesn't apply in competitions.

Well, what can I do. I lost. I'm a bad writer. That's the reality of it, so I guess I'll just have to deal with it.

LeutnantSchweinehund wrote:You know the contests, right? Head into the room, take a seat, they give you a grammar test and have you write about some nonsensical topic with a ridiculously low word limit. All in 120 minutes. You know, when I took my exam for the engineering school at which I currently study, it was nothing short of hell. I despise tests, as I always have, and this was no different. Add to that the fact that my mother tongue is extremely difficult. Czech is awful, yet beautiful.

I've actually never heard of a contest like that. It might be a country-specific thing. The closest equivalent that I can think of in the US are the essays you have to write for standardized tests like the SAT or ACT. But I wouldn't consider those to be judges of writing ability, but rather thinking on your feet and forming a coherent argument in the format they want. I'd also be willing to bet that nothing published ever was written in such a manner without tons of revision and editing afterward.

By all means, don't enter these contests. But that doesn't mean you have to give up on writing. If it's something you enjoy, try to write a little every day (that's a current goal of mine, though I've been slipping). Don't worry about quality or what other people think. In time, you'll know what you want to continue working on and be ready to polish it up for feedback. At that stage, YWS is here for you.

LeutnantSchweinehund wrote:Oh, I thank you for your kind words. However, I'm afraid I can't bring myself to compete any longer. I've competed for so bloody long, and I've never won anything. I'm lucky not to end up last.

The judges can go do something I won't mention here. I have always despised competitions, and this has hopefully been my last attempt. It just ruins your day, you know. Every time. And it's always the people who use "big words" that win. I've been taught that an unintelligible story is useless, and I've been taught to write with as much simplicity as possible, and to avoid overly exotic words. I guess that doesn't apply in competitions.

Well, what can I do. I lost. I'm a bad writer. That's the reality of it, so I guess I'll just have to deal with it.

"We only like things if we're good at them." My sister said this to my mother the other day after her team lost a basketball game. And you know what? It's the truth.

I entered a talent show two years in a row. Not many people were competing, so I was almost sure that my beautiful voice would win me first place. All of the show's winners would get to perform in every concert the choir had that year. Three guesses who lost. I was angry with myself and my singing. I called myself a failure. When I went to the choir director to ask for tips on how I could improve, she told me I was not up to par with everybody else. That stung. I vowed I would stop singing, so she would see how much her words could do. That reason evaporated quickly. It boiled down to this: I truly believed I should quit just because I wasn't the best.

But here's the deal: you don't have to be good at things to do them. Or enjoy them. If I want to sing with a crappy voice day and night, I can do that. I put so much pressure on myself to excel above and beyond everybody else. I wasn't even looking at my own improvement.

"The world was wide enough for both Hamilton and me." -Aaron Burr, Hamilton
This quote is my favorite. Other people don't limit your ability to succeed, only you do. Just because they are better than you does not mean that you aren't amazing as well. Also, people have dozens of preferences. I give poems to my friends to read, and they love them. People on here don't. That's okay. As long as I am happy with what I've written, it's cool.

In conclusion, learning curves are different, minds are different, and people are different. You have to allow yourself to not be the best at some things without feeling down about yourself. You are amazing, and you must believe that. Let yourself be the worst at things that you love. I took up a Tabata class, and believe me when I say I am the klutziest one there. But it's cool. Tabata is something I do for myself. I watch my own improvement, not the prowess of those around me. Keep writing! You'll get better. And even if you don't, keep writing. Do things because you enjoy them, not because you think you're good at them.

-Grace

And I would take it exactly that way, if it wasn't for the fact that I never really get anything in return for my effort.

You know, whenever I compete, take an exam where only a certain percentage gets through, whatever. Whenever such a scenario arises, I become sick to my stomach, I realize that I am guaranteed to lose, and then I lose. It happened that way with my engineering school exams. I had originally intended to go elsewhere, and I lost miserably.

I'm a loser. I fit the literal definition of a loser, by which I mean, I never win. Whenever there's a competition, I lose. So much so that I expect to lose. The problem is that I am also a staunch believer in survival of the fittest, and so I often wonder if I should even be alive when I'm a failure in all departments - physical, mental and intellectual. I find myself struggling with that question far too often for a person my age.

I'm afraid that competition will honestly ruin me. I'm always under stress, pretty much every single day. If I'm not currently doing something stressful, I dread the fact that I'll have to do it later. Unfortunately, the same has become of writing. I dread writing because I know I'm not good at it, exactly as you say! We enjoy things that we're good at, and therefore I cannot enjoy myself, because I am, honest to god, not good at anything.

I don't know if this amount of pressure is healthy anymore... What I need is to get away from people, at least for a month, and just exist.

I thought I was out of this edgy loner stage. Apparently, it's the only state in which I can healthily exist. Isn't that just wonderful (woeful, I'd say).

I thank you all for listening. Hopefully I can forget this unfortunate circumstance and remember to NEVER compete again if possible. The best competition is one against yourself, in hopes if improving your character.

Write for yourself, not for others.

Writing and one's taste in writing is extremely subjective. One judge may only like 1st person POV, while another judge might hate fantasy, or the name Larry, or the fact that a certain character worked at a video store because that's where their ex worked. Don't let judges determine the worth of your writing.

Write for you, not for the judges. If you enjoy writing, if there is something you get out of it, if it makes you excited or happy or helps you learn about yourself and the world, then write. I understand that things your good at are more enjoyable, and at those times when you don't feel like a very good writer, it's hard to write anything. But if you write for yourself, if you keep coming back to writing because there's just something that draws you to it, don't let that stop you.

I haven't read any of your work, but there are always ways to improve in your writing. The thing is, the quality your writing is now won't stay the same forever. You will always improve and grow and find new ways of telling stories. Reading is extremely helpful, as is, well... writing.

Don't let the contests get you down, and maybe take a step back from them for a while. Or perhaps indefinitely. Also, writing shouldn't be stressful and if it's stressing you out, it might be good to take a step back from that for a little bit as well. Take a deep breath, take a walk outside, try something new, watch a movie, and come back to it another time. Don't feel like you shouldn't write just because some strangers decided not to pick your work. Competitions are unfair and brutal. Your work deserves better, you deserve better and if you like writing whether you feel like you're good at it or not, keep writing. It will get there... don't give up on it just yet.

Unlike the other well-intentioned people on this thread, I'm not going to tell you to keep writing, because I'm not sure you should.

I'm not saying that because I think you can't improve—anyone can improve, if they work at it, if they stick with it, if they practice, practice, practice. But while your writing isn't beyond help (no one's is), you may be.

There's an entitlement that permeates each of your messages on this thread. Some examples:

LeutnantSchweinehund wrote:I never really get anything in return for my effort.

I've competed for so bloody long, and I've never won anything.

The judges can go do something I won't mention here. I have always despised competitions, and this has hopefully been my last attempt. It just ruins your day, you know. Every time. And it's always the people who use "big words" that win.

You lost. That is a fact. Rather than blaming it on how the competition was rigged against you or moaning about how you should be rewarded for your effort, you need to make peace with your loss and understand that you weren't entitled to win. You don't get a prize just for having written something, and trying to make it as a writer with that attitude won't get you far.

I'm sorry you lost, I am. I know that it must be difficult and I understand why you might feel frustrated. But at the end of the day, rather than blaming it on the judges, the way the competition was set up, the fact that you're bad at contests, writer's block, or anything else, you need to refocus your efforts on improving your work and remember one thing: There will always be better writers than you. Your writing will always be rejected by some people, or even most people (but also embraced by others). That's not necessarily because you suck—it's just a fact of life. You can write for two decades, and someone who's been writing for twice as long may very well sweep in and leave you in their dust. The same rule applies to virtually any passion, endeavor, or pursuit. Again, that's life.

In the case of writing, you will never be rewarded just for your effort. There will be hardships, tests, and competitions. You'll win some of the time, but you'll probably lose more often than not (most writers do). Unfortunately, writing is not for the feint of heart, and becoming good at writing takes time, patience, tenacity, and an ability to handle criticism and loss with grace and dignity. At this point, based on the fact that you're ready to quit altogether over this pettiness, I'm not sure you have those qualities. You need to do some soul-searching to figure out if you're always going to struggle with being rejected, or agonize over harsh criticism, or whine about losing in general—because if that's just who you are, then writing probably isn't for you.

TL;DR: Your writing may improve, but your attitude is what needs work.

@Noisette made a lot of really good points that I wasn't quite able to put into words. That's sort of what I meant by "Write for yourself, not others". Because you shouldn't write for the purpose of getting recognition or to "win". You shouldn't write with the purpose of "getting" something out of it for your effort, unless what you get from it comes from you. And if that's the only reason you're writing, if you truly feel like you 'wasted' three years because you haven't 'won' or 'gotten anything in return', then it may not be for you. Take a step back and ask yourself why you write, why you started writing in the first place and why you enter in competitions.

99 out of a 100 times, writers get rejected, usually whether they're good or not. (And saying whether a writer is good or not is extremely subjective). So there has to be some reason to keep writing without expecting to 'win', or else you're going to go down a very long, frustrating path. For me, I feel like I can't not write. I'm drawn to it, and I love exploring different stories and worlds and characters, because at the same time, I'm exploring and learning about myself. So even if I write twenty novels and they never get published or whatever, as long as I enjoyed writing it, that's what's most important to me.

Everyone is good at something, and if you don't enjoy writing for yourself, it might be worth trying something new and discovering something you do enjoy.

Also, the speech by Neil Gaiman called "Make Good Art" is excellent and might be worth a listen. It's very insightful and really the only writing advice you need.

Best of luck in your future endeavors.

Indeed, I do not possess those qualities. When I first started writing, when I was truly atrocious, I quite ironically had an extremely good time. I didn't get any recognition, as I was in a group of lowly amateurs like myself. But as I improved, things became more stressful. In the end, I was the only person in my group to keep on writing and improving. So I joined another group. Same happened there.

I used to have persistence. I used to not care about 'doing well', and wrote simply because there were so many possibilities. You could create anything, without any limits at all. And it's still like that. I still write mainly because I am unbounded in the world I create, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to do that. Words are just not as easy to put down as before. I feel like I'm regressing, and that's where the problem stems.

The contest on its own was likely not the primary cause of my outburst. I've always had, as much as I hate to admit it, a very unstable self-image. One small failure could send me spiraling downwards, while one small success had me shoot up towards the stars. I've been struggling with writing for a good few months now, and this contest merely solidified my belief that I've lost my hard-earned abilities.

In the end, I don't care if I win or lose some irrelevant contest. I woke up today, and didn't even think of it. In fact, I was instead thinking about ideas for a story! However, it's all caused by fear of losing what I already gained.

So perhaps I should give up now, because this fear of losing my ability is causing me real grief. And yet, in a way, writing is the only thing I know I can do effortlessly on a good day. Perhaps I should instead focus on finding a way to make most days good, and not forsake writing as a whole right away. Perhaps not. Time will tell.

I apologize for this sob story of a thread. That's mental instability for you. I'm not like this most days.

Any critiques on any of my works are more than welcome, and rewarded by shiny likes. However, they're all quite long and often dreadful to read (like the Bible), so I discourage it.

I think I needed this thread, for empathy, if nothing else. Thank you for posting ^__^

I literally just saw the results of this writing contest (what I'd hoped would be a win after a long string of losses). Of course, I didn't win, again.

Your post is on point. You know what? Screw them all. No more writing contests. They're just there to lower the self-esteem. Screw writing too. What a waste of time and energy. Here's to starting on a new and completely different path.

Writing is a curse, if you ask me. It is my personal delight, and yet at the same time, it haunts me in my darkest of dreams. We writers are cursed anyway. We always have been.

If you do not mind me asking, what were you supposed to write? In my opinion, being given a set topic and a set number of words and a set amount of time is just detrimental to one's writing abilities anyway. It's not like Faust was written in 30 minutes...

Yeah, screw writing contests. I'll personally keep writing for fun, as I have done for years, and I recommend you stick to it as well. Would you send me some of your work?