Don't want people to think the wrong this about my story

1, 2, 3

Gender:

Points: 891
Reviews: 46

Tue Jan 03, 2017 2:01 am

Ok. I have another question.

So, in book 1, in the beginning, Phe is at the hospitle. I need her doctor (Dr.Mann) to transfer her to a facilty called World Health Orginization (a hospitle-like place that does scientific reserch.)

What kind of clever lie could she tell Phe's parents about where they are trasnfering her and why?

I also need a reason for why her parents can't see her (or so they are told)? Brear in mind that Phe has a cronic illness, so her parents are used to her being sick. I don't want the reason just to be ," She's too sick to be visited." Any ideas.

I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.

Gender:

Points: 891
Reviews: 46

Tue Jan 03, 2017 7:22 am

queenofscience says...

Ok, so one more quick thing. Sooo, originaly I was going to have my doctor 'geneticaly engeneer' cells that produce gas waste. This gas waste would 'effect people with certin genetic markers'... And thease cells are enlarged. But, I have already made up my mind as far as plot. But, somewhere in my series I want their to be giant cells.

I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.

Gender:

Points: 891
Reviews: 46

Tue Jan 03, 2017 7:47 pm

queenofscience says...

Ummmm, I'm wanting help with this, please.

I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.

Gender:

Points: 11417
Reviews: 425

Tue Jan 03, 2017 8:12 pm

View Likes

Nate says...

When bad people convince otherwise good people to do bad things, they do so by convincing them that what they are doing is actually pretty good. For example, during World War II, the Nazis regularly released propaganda videos showing internment camps where people were laughing, playing, and generally being happy. The real truth of the internment camps was hidden. Even those who knew better would still lie to themselves about the truth.

Many times also, the bad people in charge don't think of themselves as bad. Many times, they actually think they're doing a very good thing. For example, in the 1920s and 30s, there were a lot of people who believed chemical castration for "undesirables" was needed to prevent their genes from causing harm in the future. In effect, they thought that even though what they were doing was bad now, it would lead to a lot of good in the future.

So for a doctor to convince people to do bad things, he would need to do the following in your novel:

1. Set up a model camp that looks fun and inviting. Whenever cameras and reporters show up, show them that one.

2. Have the doctor talk a lot about genetics and science. Something like, "We don't want our children growing up blind, deaf, or mute. So to prevent these genes from being passed to the next generation, we must work together to eradicate these evils."

3. Have the doctor stress collective action, and that community is greater than the individual but with him at the center as an idol.

Hope that makes sense. In short, just have the doctor always talking about genetics and that what he is doing is good. As long as you do that, I think it will be believable.

Founder

YWS on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/youngwriterssociety
Twitter: https://twitter.com/yws_gazette
Tumblr: http://ywsgazette.tumblr.com/

Got YWS?

Gender:

Points: 35774
Reviews: 1274

Tue Jan 03, 2017 9:22 pm

niteowl says...

queenofscience wrote:Ok, so one more quick thing. Sooo, originaly I was going to have my doctor 'geneticaly engeneer' cells that produce gas waste. This gas waste would 'effect people with certin genetic markers'... And thease cells are enlarged. But, I have already made up my mind as far as plot. But, somewhere in my series I want their to be giant cells.

I'm not sure this is realistic. A very basic concept of biology is the importance of surface area to volume ratio. As a cell grows bigger, the volume increases more than the surface area, so there's less membrane trying to serve more volume within the cell. Therefore cells don't grow past a certain ideal surface area/volume ratio, so giant cells wouldn't be very effective. Some more detail here.

Some alternative genetic engineering might involve manipulating environmental conditions to favor this gas production or making it so these cells reproduce faster.

Also I think Nate has some great suggestions to making this operation seem like an okay thing. I remember seeing a sci-fi movie a few years ago (can't remember the name) where people on life support were being used to harvest organs or something, but they were able to be displayed in a special visiting chamber that looked like a nice bedroom for when relatives visit.

"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

<YWS><R1>

Gender:

Points: 891
Reviews: 46

Wed Jan 04, 2017 1:04 am

queenofscience says...

Hi.

Oh, yes, I know that tecnicaly, cells wouldn't be able to survive enlargment. However, considering that this is sci-fic, I can get away with things to some extent. But, yes, great point.

Yes, I think I know about what movie your talking about, but I don't remember the name.

So, in my first book, Phe is being treated at a childrean's hospitle. Obviousy, knowing about Phe's illness you can imagin that she's in hospitles often.

So, I need my villen, Dr.Mann (she's female) to come up with a clever lie that she can tell Phe's parents about where Phe is being trasfered (I think that Dr.Mann would say that she is going to a specitaly hospitle) and WHY Phe can't be visited. Phe gets trasfered to WHO (world health orgination). So, I need a clever lie that Dr.Mann could tell Phe's parents. Somthing that will be belivable.

Also, I need some sort of lie 'medical perceadure' (could be a lie) that Dr.Mann could tell the doctors/Phe so that she would be put in the MRI like PREFORM device (it enlarges/shrinks cells)? This is so that they enlarge her....basicaly, I want the doctors etc to seem like they are generaly helping Phe (think of doctors in a hospitle).

I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.

Gender:

Points: 891
Reviews: 46

Wed Jan 04, 2017 1:06 am

queenofscience says...

I hope you guys arn't thinking bad about me because of what i'm writing about.

I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.

Gender:

Points: 891
Reviews: 46

Wed Jan 04, 2017 1:52 am

queenofscience says...

Hey, guys. So, I can't belive that i'm saying this....but I think that I have a plot hole....

Can somone tweak this to make it not so complcated? To me, it's bit complcated.

PRFROM device: Programmable Electromagnetic Field for Re-scaling Organic Matrices. Is a ‘medical/research’ technology. Was invented in Europe in 1942 for ‘medical usage.’ later on people ‘tried’ to use it for warfare purposes. Did not work. Is widely used in hospitals to shrink/enlarge,tissue,blood vessels for removing a clot, shrink bacteria so that they don’t have an effect on a patient, ect. Before the tissue can be resized, a iodine-like solution needs to be applied as a topical. Also is a anesthetic as resizing is painful. Said ‘topical’ gets dissolved into the tissue, paralyse the cells so that they are resized at the same time. If this was not done then the cells would grow/shrink at different rates and explode. If a ‘whole’ body is going to be resized, than they must take some pills that paralyze their cells. If not body would explode. In the beginning when this device was invented it looked like an x-ray machine. It now looks like an MRI machine. Works by using ‘invisible particle beams’

So, originaly, I was going to have Phe get enlarged because Dr.Mann wants to see if somone could servive enlargment.... And yes, I imagin that their are health conqences of being enlarged for too long. (I will decide on this later.)

I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.

Gender:

Points: 1373
Reviews: 59

Wed Jan 04, 2017 10:36 am

View Likes

SirenCymbaline says...

I have an idea for an excuse to keep the parents away. Just tell them their kid has developed a nasty contagious, maybe fatal disease, and must be quarantined to prevent the spread of said disease.

Bad souls have born better sons, better souls born worse ones -St Vincent

Gender:

Points: 891
Reviews: 46

Wed Jan 04, 2017 2:42 pm

queenofscience says...

Oooooh, let me see if that could work!

Anyone have any idea for my secont question?

I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.

Gender:

Points: 1234
Reviews: 590

Wed Jan 04, 2017 9:31 pm

View Likes

Mageheart says...

Hi, @queenofscience! I think what the other people who have replied to this forum have given a lot of helpful advice, but I'll try throwing in my two cents as well! ♡

Soooo, i'm a bit conserened....Because my story deals with some WW2 idealoligest and because Phe is my main character and because she's Austrian (she has a german accent)...I am worried about my readers and what they 'may' think. I don't people to read this and think' because Phe is german and because she is 'good', then this author is 'mentaly okay' with the the Nazi's did ect..... ( I am NOT okay with hat they did.)

You should be fine! People shouldn't think that way when they read that she has a German accent and that she's Austrian. I have a German character in one of my books, and no one has believed that I support Nazi beliefs. Just because someone is German, they aren't Nazis.

So, I was thinking that Phe's father wears a tiney, copper, star of David pin 'because he's proud to be Jewish, and that's that.' Should I be concerened because of talking about WW2. I was also thinking that Phe's mom wears a cross pin on what she's wearing.

Possibly? I'm not sure how most readers would feel about that (I personally have no problem with those details). I would suggest explaining their decisions for doing so.

Soooo....ummm....will people have issues with because of the fact that she's Jewish and she's taking care of a girl with germatic heratige? I just don't want my readers to hate me, ect. I am protraying everyone 'as people'.

I don't see any problem here!

I don't want anyone to laugh at Phe's illness. She also has 'sinistive stomach' symptoms. I will be writing about her illness in a 'matter of fact' way. And sure, I also want to show that illness/disabiltie is not pretty. But I will do it in a apporiate way. Yeah, sure, I laugh at 'toilet humor' but seriously, their are people who have emberrising medical probleams. I hope that people don't think that i'm write this to be gross, because i'm not writeing it to 'be gross'

Showing the struggles of her illness is a great way to show the readers how challenging it can be; you can always acknowledge how some people might - though it's horrible - laugh at her illness, and can also convey how embarrassed certain aspects of it make her feel sometimes.

Ok, I mean, how would she 'realisticaly' gain supporters.

I'd say that she would try to convince other people who share her beliefs. After she gains supporters who initially share her views, she could then move onto propaganda. Songs, radio stations and TV shows are all ways to "brainwash" people into believing her views are the right one. She can also utilize conflicts that are at the center of the country's issues at the time the book is set in. Just as some people today in the United States blame immigrants for taking jobs, the villain of your book can appeal to the people who want someone to blame. She can blame the individuals with disabilities.

What kind of clever lie could she tell Phe's parents about where they are trasnfering her and why?

She could tell Phe's parents that she's transferring her to a medical facility. Depending on the places presented in your story, you can choose somewhere incredibly remote.

I also need a reason for why her parents can't see her (or so they are told)? Brear in mind that Phe has a cronic illness, so her parents are used to her being sick. I don't want the reason just to be ," She's too sick to be visited." Any ideas.

She can say that the medical facility excels in its treatments, but unfortunately is in a very remote location and has a very strict policy on allowing visitors because the facility believes seeing visitors puts stress on the patient's well-being.

Can somone tweak this to make it not so complcated? To me, it's bit complcated.

Though somewhat complicated, it sounds like a really creative idea! You should keep it if you like it. ^_^

Also, maybe you can ask someone with medical experience for more information on medical procedures? Obviously they wouldn't be using their medical knowledge for the things mentioned in your story, but they can help you add a more realistic tone to the story. I know @StellaThomas is a doctor, so I would suggest asking her for advice if you're confused about any medical stuff. Books and the internet are also your best friend in this situation.

I hope that helps! ♡

mage

[ she/her, but in a boy kinda way ]

roleplaying is my platonic love language.

queer and here.

Gender:

Points: 891
Reviews: 46

Thu Jan 05, 2017 1:21 am

queenofscience says...

Thank you, guys! Your so helpfull!

I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.

Gender:

Points: 891
Reviews: 46

Sun Jan 08, 2017 6:29 pm

queenofscience says...

(More questions about other characters will come later.)
Hey, guys, sooo i'm concerened about somthing.

And I have been very hesastant of sharing it. Please be respecful. I am NOT being funny/innmuture by talking about this. Yes, I will be useing anotomical termanolgy. (For this post.)

Welll.....

So, about Phe's chronic illness. ( Remember, she's an Avyal, so humanoid/bird speices. Avyal's have a mixture of human/bird digestive anatomy) She has several gastric probleams that are related to her illness. One of her probleams being exsessive flatus. My character's gastriointestinal spincters don't function correctaly, so, flatus ( gas waste from bacteria) just collects in her rectum, untill the spincter musculs have no choice but to release it (i'm immagning that her spincters are too tight.) Flatus is 'exploseive' ( yes, things in the body can be expelled explosivaly.) For Phe it is painful. She wails in pain when gas is trapped in her intestants.

My story is sci-fic and Phe's flatus (well the chemicles) are 'important to the plot' her flatus smells sweet (bacteria can smell this way) and can literaly kill you within two minutes ( difficulty breathing/cardiac arrest). This is because the bacteria in her colon/intestans are mutated. The bactera's lyasoms ( stomachs) are mutated, so the 'gas waste ' that the cells emit are 'toxic'. Also, this waste does not have the useal flamable chemical conponets that make up flatus.

I am concerened....

I don't want people to think that i'm writing this to be gross. I don't want people to think 'things' about me. I will be writing this in a approate/mature/sinstive/scientific/sympathic way. (Audance is YA/teens/adults) I want to show the not so pretty side of illness/ we should be kind to people who are differant/ill/disabled/ 'its okay to talk about illness and it's nothing to be ashamed about'.( And, maby, get people interested in learning about science/the body/biology).

I feel like whenever I talk about this, I need to explain my reasoning behind it. I'm terrified that people will laught at me/my character for writing about this, and think 'im being funny ect'.

I'm worried that when the time come to find a publisher etc, that I will get 'turned down' due to that. I mean, my story will have so many wonderfull things about it. And if I was to submit it, i'd have to give a 1-2 page synopsis of my story. I'm worried that people would 'shy away' or think 'not so nice things about me'.

Now, this is not because 'I have a probleam with it'. I'm just worried about how others will react. Now, I know that their are books with full on sex scenes, for instance- that's as 'bad' as I think it gets in the literaly world, I think, but still.

You many be thinking 'then don't write it if you feel that way'. I feel compelled to write my story for many reasons, and im going to be brave and write it, but still.

Any words to make me feel better?

I don't want my worries/fear stop me.

I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.

Gender:

Points: 891
Reviews: 46

Sun Jan 08, 2017 8:59 pm

queenofscience says...

I'm going to have a scene in the begging of my story where Phe is at her doctor. This is important because we learn more about her illness/charcter develupment of her and her doctor.

Because my characters illness deals with things like pojectial vomit/feces/excessive flatus how should I write about it? As in, my doctor is going to be asking questions about medical things in relation to this, like any doctor. I want her, my docor to sound convencing and believeable for a doctor. She, being a doctor wouldn't 'beat around the bush' when it comes to medical questions? She'd be matter of fact, to the point, yet asking simple questions, and would be useing medical/anatomical termanolgy.

Given that i'm talking about the digestive systume, what is 'appropriate'? Is it 'appropriate' to use anatomical/scientifc terms? Like, is it okay 'in general' to say the word 'rectum or 'stool''? ( If I was to say this in story, it would be in a scientifc/medical way. I understand that 'this is not a medical textbook' but I do want to be 'medicaly correct/matter of fact apprach/attatude'. ) I want to be 'respectfull. I don't want to use 'unscientific words'. Besides, I want my reader to ' take me/my doctor seriously.'

Is okay to say things like.....

Do you strain when you go to the bathroom/toilet?

What is the conststancy of your stool? Is it back or tarry? Is there blood in it?

How often do you pass flatus? Is it painful?

Ect....

In this scene my doctor is going to ask a few questions. My character may just nood or somthing in answer.

Bear in mind that my story is going to be YA, so older teens/adults. It's science fiction. My goal in this scene to be realistic, not to digust. In general, is this approate? I'm asking this for 'my audiance' not for 'myself'. Me, I can handle it, dosn't bother me at all.

I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.

Gender:

Points: 891
Reviews: 46

Sun Jan 08, 2017 11:28 pm

queenofscience says...

Spoiler! :

I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.

1, 2, 3

Young Writers Society

Don't want people to think the wrong this about my story

Sponsors

About / Info

Forums & RPG

Literary

Resources