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Don't want people to think the wrong this about my story



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Mon Jan 09, 2017 8:18 pm
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StellaThomas says...



Hey @queenofscience! You asked me to have a look at some features of this for you as did @Mage and I picked up on a few things I think I can help you with:

1) why might her parents not visit her?

We isolate patients for lots of reasons. Infection is one. A very compromised immune system is another (see: the boy who lived in a bubble).

Another, less common reason is because they're radioactive. Now, some patients are more radioactive than others. One day, me and the other young female doctors got stopped from going into a room to see a patient who was radioactive while our older male colleagues went ahead and looked at us, completely bemused. The reason being, if any of us were pregnant, it would cause harm to the foetus.

But other patients are radioactive enough (after radioactive iodine treatment for thyroid cancer, for example) that they have to live in a lead-lined room for a while.

So maybe the doctor says that they're going to be using some type of radioactive treatment, and for that, she needs to be isolated. In fact, maybe the whole facility is so radioactive that it needs to be in the desert to protect the people around!

The same would go for, say, a highly contagious virus. We use viruses to carry medications for us sometimes, so maybe they say they're planning on using a special engineered virus to treat her.

2) How do doctors talk about poo and puke?

With waaaaay too little hesitation. It plays havoc with your social life.

Here are some stock phrases that we use:

"Have the bowels moved today?"
"How many bowel motions do you typically have a day?"
"Are they very loose? Do you get diarrhoea? Watery or just frequent?"
"Any blood or mucus in your stool?"
"Are your stools very fatty? Smelly? Difficult to flush?"
"Ever pass any tarry black stool?" (A sign of upper GI bleeding)
"When you vomit is it just water? Food? Any blood?"
"Bright red blood or coffee-grounds kind of stuff?"
"Is it projectile vomiting?" (especially for babies)

The fact is, we have literally no qualms about talking about this kind of stuff with people. You get used to it very quickly, it's very matter-of-fact, and there's very specific information we need to know.

We tend not to use words like rectum and anus, instead we refer to "the back passage" as it actually comes off a lot softer than "anus". Bowel motion/stool for poo - we quantify how big it was and how runny/solid it was using a fun invention called the "Bristol Stool Chart". Vomit we tend to talk about the amount, if they feel nauseous (not everyone who vomits is also nauseous) and if there was any blood in it (a very serious sign). Then we'll talk about abdo pain/discomfort, bloating, appetite, weight loss.

So the questions that you have there are absolutely perfect, I've just given you a few more ideas. You have really done your research so good job :)

But yeah. Maybe get another perspective on how gross the general public thinks it is talking about stool consistency ;)

Regarding being worried that people will laugh at you, I don't think they would, because anybody mature knows that digestive issues can be as devastating as anything else.

And if you don't think that flatus can make for serious art, remember that Daniel Radcliffe was literally just in a movie where he played a powerfully flatulent corpse. Strange art? Yes. But art nonetheless.

Regarding your worries about racism, I wouldn't get too bogged down in that - the neo-Nazi sentiment your villain expresses is clearly seen as wrong, and Phe is the Austrian, not Dr Mann (although if I were being very cautious, I do think Dr Mann sounds like a quite German name). The people who hate Nazis most these days are Germans, in my experience. What's more important as well is that Dr Mann's beliefs don't involve race, only disability and illness, and that makes a difference when you're concerned about how to write about race.

Spoiler! :
Any poo related enquiries anybody else has, The Character Clinic is open, and I just moved onto a colorectal surgery job for three months ;)
"Stella. You were in my dream the other night. And everyone called you Princess." -Lauren2010
  





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Mon Jan 09, 2017 9:52 pm
queenofscience says...



So, I don't think that I explained enough in order to answer the question "Why can't her parents come visit her/What can her doctor say to them?"

Also, if anyone has any crtiques for my illness, let me know. I need help with the diet of food that she can eat. What I have already is so limeted, that it dosn't seem realistic. I want her diet to be very limited, but I want it to be realistic. Any ideas?

(Oh, and the bulding for WHO is in Houston,Tx. Just letting you know.)

Also, StellaThomas

Spoiler! :




Cox’s Disorder (Named after Andrew Cox in 1972. Dr. Cox was a gastroenterologist. Observed symptoms in Avyal patients)


Illness effects Avyal’s/ Squ’gee’s.


Genetic illness. 34 in 5,000 have this disorder. Rare. Carried on the X chromosome (dominant. Is mutated gene in the chromosome) (females xx. Males xy. Males get it more often than females because their is only one x.)


Cox’s disorder is a mutation of the gut bacteria in the small intestine/colon. The bacteria
Citrospirillae echinoform ("echinoform" basically meaning "spiny/prickly in shape". Bacteria is spiral,spiney, and has one figala on either side) has a mutated Lysosomes (where food is digested). The waste (gasses= flatus) are HIGHLY TOXIC (passes through colon/rest of intestine). Faltus causes breathing difficulties/cardiac arrest in 2 mins. Breathing oxygen/through characle filter BEFORE ‘episode’ happens helps (so you won’t die.) Flatus smells fruity/sweet/‘perfume like’ (yes, bacteria can emit waste that smells sweet.)


Symptoms…..


Projectile vomiting. Happens when the crop gets full. (In Avyal patients) Are not nasus before they vomiting. No bile in vomit. Vomit is forceful. Crop is located in front of the larynx. 6 in long ‘storage pouch’ for vomit. (In Avyal’s this pouch is ‘nonfunctional’ servs no important ‘function necessary for life’. ) In patients with Cox’s disorder there is a weak lower esophageal sphincter (LES). Food often gets ‘regurgitated’ and goes from the esophagus into the crop. When the crop is full vomit is expelled forcefully.


Flatus. Has ‘excessive flatus’ due to her ‘sphincters’ not working right due to weak nerve signal. Bodily ‘gas’ just fills up in her small intestines/(sometimes gizzard ‘stomach’). ●Bodily gas fills up regardless of eating or not● When gas is trapped in the intestines it is painful. (Phe wails in pain) Gas is passed forcibly ( is painful, loud….) Intestinal gas smells ‘sweet/fruity.’ The harmful ‘particles’ from the gas are HEAVY and ‘hang about near the ground’. The SCENT particles are LIGHT (as in weight) scent ‘easily disperses and rises’. IS NOT HARMFUL IF BREATHED IN!! ● Phe is *extremely* embarrassed when she has ‘attacks’ or ‘explosions’ as she calls them. Wails in pain/embarrassment when ‘passing flatus’ ●Phe often says how she ‘needs to go to the WC’ so that she can do her ‘business’ in silence● her flatus doesn't have ‘chemicals that make it flammable’.


Blot. Sometimes happens. Gas gets trapped in the stomach (the gizzard). Gas is frothy/bubbly in the stomach. Mineral water, or ‘needle through the gizzard wall’ helps gas to escape.


Stomach cramps. Happen when certain foods are eaten. Any food that Phe is not ‘supposed to eat’ causes cramps.


Diarrhea. Happens when certain foods are eaten. (Eating food with the prebiotic Citrospririllae celius (has a spiral shaped body NOT SPINY. Two filegia, one on either side) helps. When food with this prebiotic is eaten (Bananas/peaches/blueberries) CURES diarrhea. (ONLY if she eats those foods and nothing else) ●Is this realistic? Can she have a ‘normal diet’ if she eats these prebiotic foods?●


Fecal incontinence. ●Phe wears ‘special underwear’ incase she has a period of incontinence.● Can ‘change frequently’. One moment she could have diarrhea, the next be incontinen. Prebiotic food CURES her incontinence.


Prebiotic food help keep gut bacteria in check. When they are not fed ‘prebiotics’ the bad mutated bacteria start to multiply. Ultimately, the mutated bacteria is ‘resistant’ to said prebiotics.


Diet for Cox disorder (many patients are feed through a feeding tube/have a bland diet) may be uninterested in eating because food upset their stomach.


Carbohydrates: oatmeal/pancakes/waffles (plain)


Dary: egg whites


Meat: fish/shrimp


Vegetables: carrots, peas, green beans (well cooked,soft-easer for body to break down fiber)


Fruit: peaches/bananas/blueberries (prebiotic)


SPECIAL NOTE: Sugar: Phe can eat sugar but is lactose intolerant (cheese/milk). Her parents don’t want her to eat anything sugary because they are afraid that Phe will eat so much (because she wants to eat different foods, but can’t ‘eat’ due to her illness) that it will make her ‘very overweight’. ● their is a artificial sugar called ‘Zucher’ that is in little sugar packets/bags in stores ect. WHO has made a ‘health statement’ about Avyals consuming this ‘type’ of artificial sugar as it makes Avyal’s overweight. (Does not take much sugar to make someone overweight.)●




Medical test


Smmcher’s test: test which involves eating one type of food from each food group (dairy,grains,protein,vegetables,fruits) to see how patient digest them. Sees how the bacteria digest them and the gasses that are released as waste product. Food is injected with colored molecules (dye) that stain the bacteria’s permeable membrane, staining the gas as it’s broken down. (After a few hours a sample a cell culture is taken.) If the ‘gas’ is colored a certain color (orange) than the person has Cox Disorder.


(Need name for test ) Test: test where bland food (like eggs/potatoes) are eaten. (Food contains orange dye). As food is digested, the dye stains the villi (hairlike fibers in stomach that ‘take in’ nutrients) if villi is stained orange than food (nutrients) ARE NOT being absorbed. Enzymes are needed to treat this to absorb food. Carema down the throat is needed to view villi (camera has nanotech lense) for diagnosis.

(Some notes about plot. Please rell me if this sounds 'beliveable'?)


Plot: Willow and Brianna work at the hospital. Phe goes to her Dr. Mann for a doctor's appointment. Phe gets gastrointestinal problems, and is transfer to WHO. Dr. Mann tells a clever lie about where Phe is going (a specialty hospital that specializes in gastrointestinal issues) and as to why she can’t be visited. At WHO the doctors make everything like they want to help Phe (like she’s at a hospital. It doesn't seem like that they are learning from her). Dr. Taggleaboo befriends Phe. (But no one else knows. Everyone thinks that she is complealty loyal to Dr.Mann. She helps my good characters.)
Phe has a medical procedure done, endoscopy. They say that her scans come back clean (they take samples of bacteria from her colon). Later, the doctors say that they need to do a medical scan (what kind of medical scan could they say that they need to do?). They make Phe drink a liquid before enlarging her with the PREFORM device. Liquid has nanobots that go everywhere in her whole body. (The particle rays by themselves are harmless. ) Dr.Mann says that the liquid is contrast liquid. Phe gets enlarged by the PREFORM device. She escapes. As she escapes the doctors run outside with tranquilizers (they scare Phe. She’s worried about what would happen to her when she’s unconscious.)
I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.
  





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Mon Jan 09, 2017 10:12 pm
queenofscience says...



Also.....

What kind of medical issue can happen to Phe in order for her doctor to take her to WHO? Bear in mind that Phe is very knowlagbal abiut her illness? And Dr. Mann is lying about this.

(Orginaly, Phe is at Texas Childrean's hospitle, then she gets transfered to WHO.)

Ugh, you guys, I have many questions. (I'm not telling/asking my parents any of this. My mom isn't as sympthic towards 'certin medical issues' as I am (granted that I am disabled/have a illness.)

Oh, and StellaThomas, Thank you for your help. Fortuntaly, I know what your talking about, I just needed ideas.

Thanks for not laughing. And yes, I have heard of Bristol's stool chat"The Boy in the Bubble"

You guys are welcome to cirteique anything.
I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.
  





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Mon Jan 09, 2017 10:28 pm
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queenofscience says...



Oh, SNAP!! SO, I originaly looked up the surname Mann and I (remember/thought) that it was English/Italian...O.O. Guess not. It's English/German....My character/Dr.Mann, is Italian...O.O. THANK YOU FOR POINTING THAT OUT!!!
I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.
  





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Mon Jan 09, 2017 11:28 pm
queenofscience says...



So, here is some about Phe's personalty in regards to the "How would she react" question?

Spoiler! :
Phe does not like her illness. Has a ‘low self-esteem’ because of it/people making fun of her illness) ‘sometimes self harms (feather plucking). She doesn't mind making ‘bathroom related jokes’ in front of people who understand her illness. In Front of parents she doesn't do this.


Personality: is very sweet/nice/helpful/friendly. Has a big heart. Is quiet. Wants to help people/feels bad when bad things happen like accidents. Apologises profusely. Cries when upset. Wails when in sever pain. Is very smart (knows more than Dr.Mann/colleagues about her illness.) Will research things. Is brave. Gental. Prefers to talk things out. Is not violent (she punches someone once, and that's it.) Basically, ‘wouldn't hurt a fly.’
I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.
  





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Wed Jan 11, 2017 10:47 pm
queenofscience says...



Hi. Can anyone help me with thease questions (my most recent ones). Thank you.
I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.
  





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Thu Jan 19, 2017 2:39 am
queenofscience says...



Hey guys, I have a question

Well, i'm trying to think of what 'medical baised powers' to give to my visualy impaired character, Willow, and my character's blind mother, Terry. (They both have RP)

Any idea?

(I am asking this because my idea that I have would not allow for Willow to become blind at the end of story and adjust to life with blindness/make service dogs (who are 'intellagent etc) obsleat. I want/need both of thease things in story.

By medical baised powers, I mean along the lines of 'fantatical' things that could happen medicaly.

Questions? Let me know. Thanks.
I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.
  





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Thu Jan 19, 2017 6:21 pm
queenofscience says...



Hey, guys. I was wondering, with my main character....am I acrutyping that 'innocent' character. I don't want to arcutype.

My main character, Phe , is sweet,kind, etc. She will 'verbaly' deffend herself ( like saying somthing ' wise' ( if you get what I mean). She very intellagent, but, also she's been sheltered because of her illness. Her illness is sever. He parents 'keep' her sheltered because of the fact that her illness is sever/people 'arn't always nice/accepting of those who are ill/disabled.' Her parents really mean well, but in reallty they are doing a diservice to their daughter. They just want to protect her. I imagin that this is 'fairly realistiv' because many parents want to shelter their childen who are disabled or ill. Anyways, I imagin that her parents have (maby) tyied to enroll her in public school before, but it didn't work out due to her illness/how studens/staff members reacted etc.


So, am I arcutyping my character?
I am the science and science fiction guru.

The mind is beautiful, yet brilliant. You can think, create, and imagine so many things.

Eugenics= scientific racism.
  








how can i live laugh love in these conditions
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