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I made character profiles!



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Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:26 am
BeTheChange says...



I made a character profile template and filled it out for four of my dystopian novel's characters. I'm now wondering if the main characters and the villain are too...typical. Too underdeveloped. Basically, I'd like you all to critique my characterization skills! TIA. I'll put them in spoilers for easy viewing.
Spoiler! :
name: Delia Malone
Story/novel they're from: A Long-Forgotten Savior
Name origin/symbolism: Delia sounds similar to Delilah, the Biblical Temptress. Malone has "mal" in it, the Spanish word for bad.
Age: 16-17
Gender: Female
Virtues: She's charming and funny, at least at first.
Flaws: She's manipulative, disloyal, hot-tempered, and a liar.
Romantic relationships: She pretends to love Cove (main character), but really doesn't.
Familial relationships: Her parents are permissive because they fear her. No siblings.
Other relationships: Iris and Kate avoid her if at all possible. They don't know what she's capable of, but they know she's an awful person.
Hair color and length: Mousy light brown. Shoulder length.
Main motivation/desire: To gain favor with the (unnamed so far) evil government.
Height: Average for a teenage girl.
Other physical descriptions: Ice blue eyes. Dresses in purple a lot because it symbolizes royalty, which she wants to be.
Powers, if in a fantasy or science fiction story: Electricity. She uses this to hurt and coerce Cove.
Upbringing/past: She was born in the Rebellion, but from a young age she knew that she wanted to live in what she thought would be luxury, with the government. She hurt animals and other children. At age seven she was diagnosed with psychopathy. At age fifteen she was sent on a mission with Kate and Iris's sister, Mercy. She left Mercy for dead and came back to the base alone, with a tragic but false story about how she attempted and failed to rescue Mercy. A year passed, and then she met Cove. She disliked him, but pretended to like him, and then she betrayed everyone.
Personality: Can turn from cold and passive-aggressive, to angry and violent, to sweet and loving, within minutes.
Habits: She uses her electric powers whenever someone displeases her in the slightest way.
Fears: Losing favor with the government.
Diagnoses: Sociopathy

Spoiler! :
Name: Kate Sutherland
Story: A Long-Forgotten Savior
Name origin: I picked it because it sounds nice and fits with her siblings' names. It means pure, but that's not symbolic. I had to look it up. :p
Age: 15
Gender: Female
Virtues: She truly wants to do the right thing. She's a good fighter.
Flaws: She never admits she's wrong, and she's almost too dedicated to the Rebellion.
Romantic relationships: None.
Familial relationships: She was fiercely protective of Mercy until her death/disappearance. Her relationship with Iris was damaged after that when Iris could move on, but Kate couldn't. They argue a lot.
Other relationships: A guy named Brad keeps making advances on her, but it's not reciprocal. She doesn't trust Cove at first, but eventually gains a grudging respect for him. She avoids Delia, but doesn't hate her the way Iris does, because she doesn't know her that well.
Hair: Blond, long, usually in a ponytail.
Main motivation: To be the best fighter the Rebellion has ever seen. To take down the government and everyone associated with it.
Height: Tall.
Other physical descriptions: Her eyes are green. She dresses only in dark clothes as a permanent way to mourn Mercy. She has a serious sort of face, even when she's happy.
Powers: Superhuman strength.
Upbringing: Her parents died when she and her sisters were three years old. She vowed to take after her mother, the Rebellion's top fighter, and so she did. At age fifteen, she has even surpassed her mother's skill level. She fell into a deep depression when Mercy died and still isn't over it entirely.
Personality: Angry and bitter until you get to know her, then she's just unhappy. She can't hear the word "mercy" without freaking out because that was her youngest sister's name. She likes sports and exercise, but no one will compete with her because she's so strong.
Habits: Pacing, raising her voice.
Fears: Being beaten in battle, losing her only remaining family (Iris), dishonoring her parents' and Mercy's legacies.
Diagnosis: Borderline personality disorder

Spoiler! :
Name: Iris Sutherland
Story: A Long-Forgotten Savior
Name origin: It's a type of flower?
Age: 15
Gender: Female
Virtues: Hard worker, high empathy
Flaws: Can be a workaholic and put her training before everything else, doesn't always think before she speaks.
Romantic relationships: She's in a close/strong platonic relationship with Cove. This might develop into a romance in a sequel...
Familial relationships: She argues with Kate a lot ever since Mercy died, because she was able to move on and Kate thinks she's insensitive. Despite appearances, she's as deeply damaged as Kate is. They just have to learn to listen to each other again.
Other relationships: She avoids Delia, knows how evil she is, and hates her with a passion.
Hair: Like Kate's, but in a pixie cut instead of long and tied up.
Main motivation: To reconcile with Kate, and to help Cove adjust to freedom.
Height: Average. Shorter than Kate
Other physical description: She has green eyes, like Kate does. There's a lightning scar (like realistic lightning, not like Harry Potter) on her wrist from when she was fighting against Delia and was zapped. Only wears neon, with the exception of her uniform--that will be explained below.
Powers: Telepathy, but she only uses it with consent.
Upbringing: She hid her grief for Mercy very well. Since Mercy liked bright colors, Iris only wears neon colors, except when it's impractical, like in battle. This is in contrast to Kate's dark mourning attire.
Personality: Nice, but distracted by her work/training. Sharp-tongued at times. Not good with emotional stuff or apologizing. Which is why she hasn't made up to Kate,
Habits: rushing off without warning, blurting out things she'll regret.
Fears: That she or Kate will die in battle before they can reconcile.

Spoiler! :
Name: Carson “Cove” Hartford
Story: A Long-Forgotten Savior
Name origin: Type of body of water. This is ironic because he controls fire. Full name means “Carr’s Son”, symbolic because he tries not to be like his father, Carr.
Age: 14 or 15.
Gender: Male
Virtues: Loyal to the few he trusts; wants to be helpful; a pacifist
Flaws: paranoid; too desperate for affection/love.
Romantic relationships: Delia, or so he thinks; Iris, in a sequel
Familial relationships: His mother was passive and let him be tortured; his father beat him and starved him mercilessly almost from the time of his birth.
Other relationships: Kate hates him at first, but forms a grudging respect for him.
Hair: Dark, shoulder-length.
Main motivation: To survive, and to become a better person than his parents.
Height: Very short because of malnutrition. He could probably pass for an eleven or twelve-year-old.
Other physical descriptions: He has grey eyes that seem too big for his face. He tends to look tired due to insomnia. His hands shake constantly. He's very thin.
Powers: Pyrokinesis.
Upbringing: Traumatic. See above. When he turned fifteen, he ran away to join the Rebellion. Everything seemed to be going relatively well, until Delia betrayed them all. Kate was killed. He and Iris were captured. This triggered a return of his PTSD, made worse by his feelings of guilt for trusting Delia.
Personality: Anxious and aloof, but genuinely well-meaning. Hates being touched. Was never taught to read.
Habits: None. He used to flap his hands when stressed, but his father made sure to end that.
Fears: His father, becoming like his father, darkness, electricity, physical contact, crowds.
Diagnoses: PTSD, insomnia, anxiety, Asperger’s syndrome, failure to thrive
  





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Mon Nov 28, 2016 2:55 am
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Rosendorn says...



Try filling in something like this, instead:

Name:
Age:
Distinguishing features: [tattoos, scars, stuff you'd use to ID a body]
Motive:
Reason for motive:
Primary emotional reaction:
Primary emotional expression:
Traits:
Skills:
Attitude:
Memorable quirk:
Background:

Because here are a few secrets of character development:

1- There are no "good" traits and no "bad" traits. In your first profile, you have "charming" as a virtue and "manipulative" as a flaw— those are the exact same thing. It depends on the company you're keeping that see it as a virtue or a flaw. I, personally, mistrust charming people even if there's no stakes involved because I wonder what they want (I'm in sales. It's literally my job to be charming to get your money). Others adore charming people and don't even see them as manipulative, even if they are actively manipulating the person.

Pride and arrogance are the same thing, just coded in different language. Anger and desire for justice are also often very similar, because one can lead to the other.

2- Skills are important, because skills are what get you out of trouble (or into it). Traits are one thing, but it's the difference between a brilliant novice and somebody with a decade of experience. Old wisdom trumps young bravado, after all.

Somebody who is charming but unskilled in politics will utterly fail at manipulating the government. Political maneuvering is a skill, one that does not rely on the person being inherently charming.

3- The most important thing to know about your characters is to know how they will react in various situations. I split this facet into two because the first emotional reaction you get is not necessarily the one you actually show. A person can be given a giant assignment and quake in fear on the inside, but on the outside are all smiles and nod along. Attitude is their philosophy on life, and how they'll progress the plot.

4- Reasons behind things are more important than the things themselves. Motive to please the government is great, and you sort of hint that her reason for the government favour is because she likes luxury and thinks the government will give it to her— but what if she finds another source that will give her exactly what she wants? What will she do then?

5- You will remember a bug collector who always wears a hot pink scarf better than you will remember a bug collector.

--

Another thing I would be careful with is relying on traits and "personality" to determine the ethics of a character. The minute I read "hurts animals", I can tell this character is going to be a Villain Just Because. The trope for villains is rather literally "kick the dog", and cruelty to animals sets people up as beyond reproach. Why does she need to be cruel to animals?

Traits are not any indication of how they will be used. People can have low empathy and be some of the kindest people I know (Antisocial personality disorder, the proper term for "sociopathy", is not a marker of evil. Some people with ASPD are the most kind and caring you will ever meet. This is an account from one such very helpful ASPDer, to give you an idea), and people with very high empathy can be cruel in some very insidious ways (they might not physically make you feel pain, but they can say "I understand" and use that trust built by shared emotional experience to destroy you).

You can have a trait to be highly manipulative, but use it for the greater good. PSAs for things like "don't drink and drive" are the prime example— they are advertising, meant to be manipulative to change your mind, but I'm pretty sure most people agree that "don't drink and drive" is a very good message to convince people of.

Actions determine ethics. Somebody too dedicated to the rebellion can easily turn into an anti villain (a villain who commits atrocious acts for a "good cause" and makes you ask what ends justifies the means), and somebody who doesn't think before she speaks can turn a whole population away from a movement. Somebody disloyal and a liar can be one of the most valuable spies on the good guys' side (tl;dr on his wikipedia page: he had no loyalty to any one nation or government, but hated the Nazis so he became a spy on their side for the sole purpose of going to the British and being a double agent, and in the end became one of the reasons the Enigma code was cracked and D Day was successful).

In the end, these profiles lack the core essence of how these characters interact with the world, and rely on "good" or "bad" traits to determine whether or not the character is a villain or hero. Once the focus is more on actions, emotions, and reactions, you'll have a better sense of the characters.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





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Mon Nov 28, 2016 11:14 am
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Megrim says...



I once wrote out a character outlining thing based on my "formula." I never remember to actually use it, but you'll see there are some fundamental differences on how I approach characters:

Setup
- What is their role or profession?
- What makes them NOT the ideal person for that role?
- What's a trait about them that's unexpected?
- What do they want?
- Why can't they have what they want?
- What do they worry about becoming?
- What are their vulnerabilities?

Development In-Story
- What event or situation would cause them despair?
- What is the hardest choice they could make?
- What incorrect judgments would people make based on a first impression?
- What do they consider crossing the line?
- What would break them down emotionally?

End Point
- How will their worldview change?
- What is a situation near the end where they would make a different choice than they would have at the beginning?
- Will they move on and leave things behind, or return to where they began the story?
- Have their INITIAL relationships grown closer or father apart?
- Have their NEW relationships grown closer or father apart?
- What has changed about what they want?
- Did they become what they feared / Do they now fear becoming something different?

I'll be back later to talk more about your characters in particular. But for now you should check out this 1hr Brandon Sanderson lecture on Sympathetic Characters.
  





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Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:15 pm
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Lauren2010 says...



Personally, I stay away from character templates. They only ever give me very surface-level ideas of characters which is fine for something like a storybook! But novels need bigger characters to carry them. So I generally learn about my characters as I go, but the times I learn most about a character are usually when I'm writing about past actions and the ways they feel about other people.

But for a short-cut, I also really love Marcel Proust's Interview Questions because they hit on those more character-defining qualities and give you a sense of how that character would react to any number of situations. Answer them for your characters, or have someone sit with you and ask you the questions while you answer them as your character would.
Got YWS?
  








In the past I would definitely say who you would find inside. Not so much today. Place is bonkers …. As is everywhere
— Greg Specter