Young Writers Society

Here is the basic idea. A master thief helps a slave escape from a slaver under the guise of helping him after a horrific event. The true intention is that the thief has been hired to "steal" the slave for another slaver for payment.

After learning a little more about the slave, the thief decides to forgo the original plan and help the slave get to a place where those that have control over slavery can't reach him.

I want this original plan to come to light with the slave which will add some tension between the slave and the thief. My original plan was for a letter to be found, detailing where the plan and drop point where the slave was to be taken. But this would be a mistake made by a novice, not a master thief like the one I have at the moment. I don't want a direct confrontation with the other slaver as they are in the middle of no where and haven't been found by anyone thus far.

So I need a means of this coming to light that is believable and makes sense from a plot aspect.

How many people know about this plan? If it is just the master thief and the slaver whom he serves, it is going to be difficult. It is unlikely for the mastet thief to slip up. However, if someone else know for some reasons, they can, motivated by their own agendas, cause a rift between the thief and slave, sabotage the second plan by manipulating the slave, etc. etc.

Or you can go with the more fantastical road and have a seer to give the slave probable futures which include him being given to a new slaver. He might not be sure about it, but there will be doubt, there will be tension, the thief might not be trusted by the slave, the slave might act weirdly careful around him, etc. etc.

That is all I can help you. ^^"

Technically there is an entire guild that knows about this "theft", but it sort of falls under the same thing as no one knowing where the group is in the wilderness.

I guess I could have them followed by another guild member trying to make a name for himself and writing the details down, which would give an immediate suspicion to what was going on.

The letter thing doesn't come across as believable for me, for completely different reasons. If the person's a slave, why would they know how to read? I am aware this is very bound to the world, but you need to establish this.

Right now, those actions need to come from fleshed out characters and a fully fleshed out setting. Until you've figured out the pre-existing relationship between the slave and thief, the general attitude around slaves and thieves in this world you've created, the education level of both (average+ specifics), their histories, and how they're traveling, you're not really going to find anything that sticks.

Give us more information, and then we'll be able to help.

Fair enough.

This is for a fan-fiction (First I have ever written) for the Elder Scrolls game series.

The master thief is a very likable and warm character by the name of Karliah. She is a sort of special forces thief that is very good at getting into places unseen and quite charismatic. She is half Dunmer (Dark Elf) which plays a little part in the slave's suspicion of her.

The slave is an original of mine by the name of Do'amha. He actually suffers from amnesia from an incident taking place five years earlier. Within the Elder Scrolls universe, just about everyone has the ability to read and write, despite it being a medieval age fantasy. He doesn't really know how he knows how to read, but he knows that he does. He was a pit fighter in a fight-to-the-death slave ring, before he was set free. Do'amha's slaver was an Altmer (High Elf) and so he has a burning distrust of any Knife-ear (slang for elf).

Karliah helps Do'amha escape with some help from a few members of the nearby Theives Guild (Exactly as it sounds. Given contracts to steal things.) Karliah's original mission was to steal Do'amha from his current Slaver and take him to a new Slaver in a different part of the country. She has a change of heart after one of the other slaves that is rescued has been previously raped and she learns about Do'amha's amnesia. Her change of heart is to take the two slave to a place called Skyrim that is no longer under the rule of the Elves and the pair can be safe from the Slavers.

So basically, Karliah is going to be Do'amha's saviour. Neat. I'm intrigued with the other slave, whom someone has raped. Why is she wanted by this new slaver? I've read quite a bit of your story, and I'm guessing it's because of her healing ability? He is known for combat prowess, on the other hand.

I'm going to assume both slaves become her friends or emotionally close to her. On that case, perhaps you can make Karliah unable to hide this secret any longer? I'm pretty sure she is wise enough to know that the plan will only work when she gains their trust and further establish their cooperation. They will react poorly of course, as understandable, and that would be quite enough tension for the plot, methinks? Karliah risks the chance of her secret delivered to them by someone else if she isn't the one who reveal it, which would hurt their trust far worse.

Actually the reason that the other slave is with them is that Do'amha said he wouldn't leave without her and Karliah was present when she was raped so she is trying to help at least a little.

My original idea was that Do'amha would discover that Karliah was originally going to take them to another slaver and attack her. Ready to beat her to death until Karliah gets him with a Paralytic poison and calmly explains everything to Do'amha. While he is forced to trust her for now, he no longer has as much faith in her as he did before.

Arrogance is a nice trait for a Master Anything. When you're in a business like that for a long time it would probably be hard to resist leaving your own trade mark, creating in-jokes for yourself, that kind of thing. It could be that your thief willingly leaves something behind but doesn't realise it gives away more than expected. It could be something like... sending a note saying 'thanks for the slave' without realising that the paper only comes from one region of the country. Or maybe they send a messenger, and the slaver approximates their location based on where the messenger lives and which direction they travelled.

Thieves also have a lot of enemies, and if you have any tidy little NPCs with grudges lying around one of those could stalk / find out about / foil your characters plan.

Another option is to create the illusion that the slaver has found out. They could get chased by someone calling the title 'slave' and think they've been found out, when actually it's someone mocking their race or appearance.

Nice plot by the way. Thieves steal stuff, so I particularly like the transition of a slave being seen as stuff when they're stolen, but as a person when they're being led to freedom. That in itself is some kind of start to their liberation, which is really cool!