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Dark Daughter: Prophecy of Nyx



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Wed Jun 29, 2016 11:23 am
SheWhoWrites says...



Hey guys! Colly here! :)

I've got my July NaNoWriMo Project all outlined. Character Profiles are done and I'm just making notes about the book and the series it belongs to while I wait for NaNo to officially begin. I'm really excited about this particular book because it's the best idea I've had in a long time and the characters are...well, I know them better than any other set of characters I've written. My problem lies in the idea itself. Now, this isn't one of those "would you read this?" posts. This is more of a "what do you like or dislike about this idea?" post. I need to know what people dislike about it and what they like about it so I can keep that in mind as I'm writing.

Therefore, I'll give the plot synopsis below this and I'll just let you guys tell me what you think of it. Is there something you think doesn't fit? Is there something that you don't understand that should be easily understood from the get-go? Do the characters seem interesting or would you not care at all about them? Would you change anything about this idea?

" Wynter Shade is a Necromancer, a witch with the power to bring back the dead. She's coming to the end of the Necromancer Training and is tasked with bringing back a dead person of her Mentor's choice. At the last moment, the night before she is to complete her task, her Mentor is murdered and the International Council of Necromancers sends her another Mentor to complete her Training. The man they send her is an odd man, nothing like her former Mentor. His name is Julian Devereaux and he seems to have an ulterior motive. On the morning of her task, Julian takes Wynter to Scotland of all places. In a cold, ancient graveyard, he points her to a grave and tells her to resurrect the woman in that grave. Wynter does as asked but the woman does not come alone. With her comes the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth, the only sorcerer more powerful than Merlin Ambrosius, Asterion Ambrosius. Asterion is Merlin's twin brother, the mortal enemy of Morgana and the potential savior of humanity.

Julian is furious when he discovers that he has brought Asterion back with the woman he'd originally sought to bring back. The woman? Her name is Morgana. Morgana Le Fae. And Julian has just committed one of the biggest crimes in their world. Bringing Morgana back to life has been outlawed for centuries. It's why her grave site has been unknown for so many years.

Julian disappears along with Morgana and Wynter is left in Scotland with Asterion. When the International Council of Necromancers finds out that Morgana has been returned to life, they are not surprised. Alistaire Kingston, the Council Head, tells Wynter and Asterion about a Prophecy given when Morgana was last killed. According to this Prophecy, Morgana' reign of terror will only come to end when the Dark Daughter returns.

Wynter asks who the Dark Daughter is and why she's so important. Alistaire explains that the Dark Daughter is a girl written about in many prophecies. She is the girl with power of Morgana but the powerful of Nyx. When Asterion cuts into the conversation, he tells Alistaire and Wynter that Wynter is the Dark Daughter but that there is more to the story than anyone knows. He tells them that Wynter is the key to defeating Morgana, that she is the direct reincarnation of the Goddess Nyx, Goddess of the Night.

The thing about his story is that Nyx all but disappeared from existence thousands of years ago. when Alistare tells Asterion this, the ancient sorcerer's face turns grim. She didn't just disappear, he says, she was murdered by Morgana. Morgana had hoped that, by killing Nyx, she could gain the Goddess' power. Unfortunately for Morgana, she was wrong. Before her death, Nyx managed to cast a spell that sent her soul into limbo. With her soul, went her power. Her soul, and her power, lay dormant for thousands of years until someone was born who was strong enough to handle Nyx’s soul. This person was Wynter. At birth, her soul merged with Nyx’s, though her powers were still dormant.

If Wynter can tap into Nyx's dormant power, she can save the world. If she fails, Morgana's vengeance will burn the world. Amidst battling Morgana's forces and trying to access Nyx's power, Wynter finds herself falling in love with Asterion. There is something strangely alluring about the ancient Necromancer. Asterion is nothing like the legends say. The legends tell of a man whose heart has been turned to stone, of a man who was so unlike his twin that many thought him as evil as Morgana.Wynter sees none of that in Asterion. In Asterion, she sees a man with a dark past and a heart that only the right person can love.

For his part, Asterion is falling in love with Wynter. Though in the past, his heart has been shattered - by the very woman who is now threatening to burn down the world - he knows that to hold himself back from love is a futile effort. Giving himself to Wynter is not an easy job, nonetheless, but it is something he knows he must do.

Asterion is the only person alive who knows what Morgana is truly capable of. Though it’s been a thousand years since he and Morgana died, he remembers perfectly what she was like. He confides in Wynter that he knew Morgana better than Merlin had because they’d been lovers once, before Morgana’s true nature had been revealed. He knows firsthand just how cruel she can be, though he won’t tell her how he knows that.

When Wynter’s home town is attacked by Morgana’s army, she and Asterion travel there to see what the damage is. They find the town in ruins and Wynter’s only remaining relative, her older brother Bryce, brutally murdered in their home. Wynter is devastated and buries her brother’s body in the backyard of their home. After Bryce is buried, she and Asterion return to the International Council of Necromancers’ Headquarters where they’d been staying in Scotland to tell Alistaire that Morgana has begun her attacks. Alistaire instructs them to begin recruiting other Necromancers to build an army to fight against her. Knowing that the only person other than himself strong enough to beat her is his twin, Asterion asks and is granted permission to bring Merlin back.

Wynter and Asterion travel to southern Ireland where Asterion laid his twin to rest. With Wynter’s help, Asterion brings Merlin back. Merlin is at first confused about why he’s being brought back but almost immediately understands the gravity of the situation. He and Morgana have never gotten along and he is eager to defeat her. As they are traveling back to Council Headquarters, they are attacked by Morgana’s Army. Among her army of undead Sorcerers is Wynter’s older brother. Wynter is devastated to be forced to kill him again but she does it.

After they return to Council Headquarters, Wynter goes to bed for the night. Asterion and Merlin retire to their shared room to discuss what has happened in Merlin’s absence. The next morning, there have been four more attacks. Five hundred people are dead and a further three hundred are in critical condition. They are alerted to the fact that another attack is in progress in southern Ireland and leave almost immediately to find that Morgana has done the unthinkable. She’s raised another ancient from his grave. Mordred is among the most powerful of the ancient sorcerers and they are suddenly aware that their chances of winning this war have just gone down. They defeat Morgana’s forces but Morgana realizes that Wynter is the one with Nyx’s soul and takes her hostage, leaving Asterion furious."

I know it's kind of long and I apologize for rambling so much. I just really want to know people's hones-to-God reactions to it before I start writing. This way, I can work out any kinks before I start writing and realize they're there.
“Gibberish?" Jem suggested
"Pornographic?" said Will at the same time.
"Could be both," said Will. "Haven't you ever heard of pornographic gibberish before?”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Princess
  





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Sat Jul 02, 2016 6:38 pm
Tenyo says...



Hey SheWhoWrites!

This is awesome! Not just because I'm a sucker for arthurian legends, but because you've used them in a very clever way. Here's a few things I picked up on.

Necromancy: I assume Necromancy is hard enough, without bringing two people back at once, and Wynter is still in training. Incredibly powerful, yes, but still in training. Does that mean that the Necromancy rituals are location based? Otherwise this is a pretty tough gnat to get around.
On that; if Julian is in such a position where he is knowledgeable enough to be her mentor, why did he wait to use her to bring Morgana back?

Interaction: The dispersal between Asterion and Morgana is going to have to be fast, or painful. If they're sworn enemies and they suddenly wake up next to each other then someone is going to get hurt.

The ICN: I imagine they're smart. If this prophesy was truth and potentially imminent they would have put some measures into place in the event that it occured? Like Operation-ohnoshesback. On that, back to the mentor thing, it's kinda odd that they'd let a suspicious character like Julian be mentor to someone with the power to bring dead people back.

Nyx's Soul: she merged it with some poor, unsuspecting baby. I love this plot device, it leaves for some great character development. Be sure that Nyx's vague influence is a factor in how the Dark Daughter just happens to be center stage in this fiasco, just to add a nice alternative to the 'prophesy says so' theme that sometimes takes over this kind of novel.

Asterion: Why does he have to give himself to Wynter? Also, doesn't that mean he's also giving himself to Nyx? Aw man, their children would be deadly!

Wynters home town: This part is painfully circumstantial. Maybe you could thicken the plot either side and buffer this out a bit. Fun idea, though.

The undead brother: I love this twist, so much! Just be very careful to conceal it. In a novel about necromancy your reader will be expecting every character of mention to be brought back- especially if that character turns up randomly in a chapter just to bring angst to the MC.

Mordred: Britain is doooomed.

Overall: I think the ideas and the general progression of the plot is awesome! This will make for a great page-turner. Mainly you need to focus on those few things that are a little too circumstantial, and beef up the ICN a bit. Other than that I'm really excited by this plot and I'd love to see what you do with it.

Keep up the good work! =]
We were born to be amazing.
  





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Sat Jul 02, 2016 8:07 pm
SheWhoWrites says...



Thank you so much! :) You gave me a lot to think about and improve on. :)
“Gibberish?" Jem suggested
"Pornographic?" said Will at the same time.
"Could be both," said Will. "Haven't you ever heard of pornographic gibberish before?”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Princess
  








The heavens laugh with you in your jubilee; my heart is at your festival.
— William Shakespeare