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Thu Mar 24, 2016 1:55 am
CTodd89 says...



I've always loved the genre of horror. Not so much gory or slasher horrors, but supernatural and psychological horror. Now I have an idea for my own contribution to the genre. I'm writing a screen play about a family plagued by demonic spirits. Largely the story is fiction, but I'm going to plug in actual supernatural events documented by acclaimed investigators such as Ed and Lorraine Warren and Ralph Sarchie.

It's a story of a young woman, eighteen to nineteen years old, who has the same obsession with the paranormal that I do. I'll live vicariously through her in that she'll go one step farther. She's wiccan and follows occult practices and reads magick lore and what-have-you. She comes from a seemingly normal family: a loving mother and father and her autistic, younger brother about the age of eight.

This story begins in a cemetery at night. She buries a shoe box tied tightly by a red ribbon. What's in the box, you may ask, but that reveal comes later. There's a change in scene's where she's sitting at the table with her family having dinner. Seems normal, but the girl, Ashley, just isn't feeling it.

This is where I'm stuck. This is where I want to enter a plot device that creates momentum for the rest of the story. Ashley asks to be excused from the table to go to her room. Her mother reveals that she's been spending too much time in her room, but eventually gets the go-ahead to get up. What does she do?

I've thought maybe taking her to her room. Play on the phone or a computer; maybe skype a friend. Read a book, a grimoire perhaps? Maybe write, play an instrument.

I've though about having her go out with a friend. Her long-time friend who isn't into the occult and all that, but tolerates it for Ashley's sake. She's more of a basic b*tch 'like, oh my gawwwwd." Whatever I put in there is going to segue the story into the plot and set the pace for the rest of the film. Maybe you guys can help me out with something I haven't thought of?

The story after that plot device takes the family out of the apartment and into a home that's semi-secluded. Not like Mamma's Gump's house, but you get the idea. Moving forward is when things get out of hand: car tires go flat; spark plugs are pulled out and missing; keys, wallets, phones go missing; lights flickering; floors and walls creaking; hammering on the ceiling or from the basement; furniture being thrown around and broken; voices and shadows from people who aren't actually there; etc.

I don't know how many of you are religious or familiar with the demonic, but essentially anything that would otherwise be impossible they can make possible. They know anything that has not been confessed. Using this premise I'm going to delve these characters individually into their own personal hells.

WARNING: This next part is a huge reveal and very dark. It not intended for individuals who are faint of heart, politically correct, emotionally conservative or those reluctant to teeter on the borders of my "insanity."

Spoiler! :
Each character will begin to experience their own individual phenomenon that none of the other characters experience even when they're in the same room. These phenomenon reveal truths, or sins, about the characters individually and punishes them. These events are told in a manner that are subtle and maybe misunderstood at the time, but are revealed closer and closer to the climax of the story.

For example, the father, who initially is introduced as a hard-working family man is actually a liar and a cheater. His experience includes seeing shadows and apparitions of women moving around the house. He chases them around and they seduce him. Largely the experience is sexual, though you can't have coitus with a spirit. Instead it's kind of a seductive manipulation into having him do things he normally otherwise wouldn't do. At one point he disappears entirely.

I haven't come up with anything for the mother yet. I'm thinking about gluttony, vanity, pride, etc. The daughter, Ashley, will be later revealed as a victim of sexual assault and so will be reminded of it by the demon as things get worse for them. In addition to that she also suffers from depression and has self-destructive tendencies. The only character not affected by the demonic is the brother because essentially he is pure of heart. Instead, his purpose is to create an illusion that there is more than one spirit in the house and that they other spirits are also victims to the evil presence within the home. But truthfully, there is only one spirit.

The family tries multiple avenues to approach the situation. They contact a paranormal investigation crew who come to the house, do their thing and then leave without offering any kind of resolution or peace of mind. They contact the local priest who won't help them. I want the audience to feel the same way as the family does: helpless; hopeless. Eventually the foundation of the family crumbles. The house is wrecked and they know they can't leave. All person's are unemployed and broke so they can't pay their bills or eat. And all of this comes back to the box.

The box she buried in the cemetery.

I've learned through research of a very powerful, very dark curse typically used only by the most damned of black magicians. The curse, once applied, cannot be stopped. The victim's life unravels. They lose their job, friends, family. Physical and mental health deteriorate. Financial situation crashes like the housing bubble burst of 2008. It brings the victim down to the point where they ultimately attempt suicide, but the curse will not let them die.

Ashley deliberately, but ignorantly, applies that curse to the person who sexually assaulted her. In turn she not only becomes aware of his torment, but suffers with him. Curses are often carried out by the demonic, but there's always a price and this particular demon aims to collect, and not just on one person.

Help eventually arrives in the form of a medium/ordained exorcist who is part of a work that helps people with their spiritual conundrums. Unfortunately, they arrive past the parts of infestation and oppression. The demon, knowing the medium is there to stop it, moves quickly to the stage of possession. Guess who goes first? That's right; the father. Remember he disappeared? :twisted:


The ending to the story hasn't quite been worked out yet besides that there's blood. I want to go with a happy ending for the sake of conflict resolution after such a harrowing roller coaster, but a morbid ending may be more satisfying.

If you've read this far, please let me know what you think and what ideas you might have to help me out. I'm open to different ideas and anything that may help if I get stuck like I am now.
  





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Mon Mar 28, 2016 12:24 am
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Rosendorn says...



So two pieces of advice for you.

One

Whenever you're stuck on what to happen to get plot moving, look outside of the main character's immediate circle. Usually there's something in the setting or background you can use that comes from building your protagonist's life. Is there a school obligation? Is she part of any clubs?

Start building up the setting just as much as you're building your characters, because setting plays a critical role in not only making plots happen, but making plots believable. Horror in particular can very much be hit by this, because it can often sound a little implausible that this is all happening and nobody noticed.

Of course, people don't notice horrific things in real life all the time, but usually there's some sort of explanation for it on one level or another. People don't see abuse because they don't know the warning signs, and abuse victims are masters of protecting their abusers.

Two

This has less to do with your issue and more to deal with an overreaching problem I noticed in the story that will cause issues, both in how well you characterize people and how your work will be received: you're using everyone, but particularly autistics, as a plot point. This means everyone feels very underdeveloped, and in some cases are really just accessories.

The concept that autistics are pure of heart is actually a myth and most autistics aren't. They are human, which means they have the full range of human emotions. They have demons, they have fears, hopes, dreams, sins. They have lives. They are not just props or part of the setting. They need to be developed just as much as everyone else.

What is going on in his life? I hear absolutely nothing about him, indicating, to me, you've simply stuck him in as something to move the plot forward when the need arises. Does he go to school? How are his sensory issues responding to all this chaos around him? Do they try to keep some parts of his routine in tact, or is he thrown into the world being chaotic and he's therefore much more sensitive and wants everything to go back to normal?

Autism is, at its heart, a sensory issue. Autistics' senses are just plain old stronger, meaning they respond much more intensely to sensory stimuli. This post has a nice breakdown between autistic and non autistic (known as allistic) experience, which would be a good starting place. I would also check out resources such as the Autistic Self Advocacy Network and Autistic Women's Network, along with blogs run by autistic people such as neurowonderful (it is a tumblr blog, so the language might not always be work appropriate, but you'll find a lot of useful information), so you can flesh out your autistic character.

Ask the same questions about the other characters, to develop their lives. You really can't write about people who only exist because of plot roles. Otherwise, they turn to cardboard and everything feels convoluted. It's also really likely somebody else in the family is autistic, because it is genetic, so that research will help build the family in general.

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All in all, this story doesn't seem like it's really been grounded in anything, which is where most of your hangups come from. You've developed people as they need to be developed for the plot, but you've not really developed them as people. They don't feel like they have lives outside of their roles, which means you don't know them well enough to really write about them.

Spend some more time on their daily lives and outside-of-each-other interactions. You'll be surprised where it can take you while writing.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





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Mon Mar 28, 2016 6:47 pm
CTodd89 says...



I appreciate your feedback. The story I told was just a quick overview, but you're right. There's a lot I missed, not because I wasn't aware of it but because my focus is on the story as a whole. I haven't completely decided which way to take this. I feel like I'm subconsciously following a template while trying to create something unique and I'm creating a setting that is irrelevant. I really should just take your advice, back up, develop my characters and then create the setting.

As for the autistic brother, I didn't mean that he's pure of heart like a monk, but in comparison to the other characters. I'm aware of their sins, which are significant compared to the mischievous wrong-doings of a child. The autistic brother isn't as critical to the plot as the other characters, but is key in allowing me to integrate some ideas that help with momentum. Since autism is a pretty wide range of issues, I'm considering focusing mostly on Asperger's syndrome (since I myself have it) and can relate to it. He'll be affected by the demonic, but in a way that is very different than the way the other characters are affected.

Largely, I have the framework already figured out, but is subject to change as I try to trim some fat. It's the microcosm I'm stuck on. Who are these people? Why do they matter? What do they do? Where do they they from? Why are they the way they are? Who do they know? Who are they affiliated with? How do they each individually deal with their issues? Maybe if I answer these questions first I won't get so stuck.
  





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Mon Mar 28, 2016 11:08 pm
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Rosendorn says...



Yes, those questions are exactly what you need to work on answering.

Micro issues are, indeed, common, and they're answered by figuring out the character motive, personal relations, and all those questions you're asking yourself. Get their backstory in place, get them acting for specific reasons, and you'll be well on your way to fixing it.

Glad to know you're working from a point of knowing autism firsthand. If you want to make it the autistic guy isn't a carbon copy of you, it might still be useful to dig into those resources to find different experiences you can use to differentiate the character (I know when I write from personal experience, I like to throw in a little twist so the person isn't exactly me).

I will give one more piece of advice: don't be so focused on "unique" in your building. It'll be unique because you made it, and nobody else has your exact way of looking at the world. At the same time, it will be very much not unique, because there are only so many concepts in the world. It will actually get more unique the less you focus on forcing it and focus more on writing what you want.

Write a story you want to write. Uniqueness will come the more you focus on yourself, because it's your voice making it unique.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  








You are in the wrong land even if the roosters recognize you.
— Nathalie Handal, "Noir, une lumière"