Young Writers Society

Magic is illegal, punishable by death

The premise follows a seventeen year old boy named Grant Castillo, and he is the son of the infamous magician, Merlin Castillo. In this world magic is illegal, and using magic is punishable by death. Merlin gets Grant caught into a dilemma involving other magic cartels and the government. Who’s side will Grant take?



Magic is a drug. In other words, it is illegal. The government has abolished magic, or at least, that’s what they thought. Magic cartels trade and produce magic around the nation sold in potions and in pills. Those who perform the unlawful act of magic are called Magicians. The government banned magic due to the danger it is capable of, and the effects of using magic has on your body. And as for the Magicians, they have to be wise, because using magic is punishable by death.


Grant Castillo is the seventeen year old son of infamous Magician, Merlin Castillo, A.K.A,‘The Sorcerer’. All he ever wanted was to prove to his father that he was capable of leading the cartel when it was his time.



Grant is turning eighteen soon, and his father plans to introduce him to the world of magic. He becomes introduced to the responsibility, the danger, and risk it takes to be a Magician. And that makes Grant realize something, he doesn’t want this. He doesn’t want to lead the Castillo cartel, he doesn’t want to be a criminal, and most of all, he doesn’t want to be a Magician.


The worst part about this: He can’t tell his family. If he tells his family, he’ll be a disgrace, shunned, sent away, or even killed.


The Magicians and government officials clash in a battle of bullets and sorcery. The Magicians have been caught, and the government is prepared for another war. This is Grant’s opportunity, who’s side will he take?



Magic is temporary, and the more potions or magic pills you consume, the more powerful the magic (and the more magic you have) is. However, using constant magic makes you weaker and weaker, until eventually you feint. The more and more you feint, eventually you reach death. Taking too many magic potions at the same time gives your body too much magic and power to handle, and eventually, you lose your humanity.
Magic can be thought of a form of energy. The more energy you have, the more powerful, too much energy is bad for you. Once you lose your energy, it is a good idea to rest. So, once the potion runs out (energy), it is a good idea to wait a good six hours of rest before you consume more potion.
Magic is extracted from a rare type of dust/powder, typically found in caves. This is mixed with water to create a solution, potion.


So, this is an idea I've been trying to grow. I got the idea from the fact that I love Harry Potter, and the fact that my parents latin dramas about drugs and cartels etc. If I'm 100% honest, I saw something very similar in the Adopt a Plot forums of NaNoWriMo. The project is currently called Magic is a Drug, and it's been developing a lot. I would appreciate it greatly if people could ask me a few questions about the idea, whether it involves the characters, the magic, or anything else. I would also appreciate it if I could get new title suggestions, because 'Magic is a Drug' is a phrase used to promote the television show,"The Magicians."Another suggestion I could get, a new last name for the MC, and possibly a made up word that means the same thing as cartel, but toward magicians. I believe this feedback could help further developing so that for once I could get somewhere. Thank you~

This premise sounds like a coming of age story- where the child becomes an adult, making their own decisions. If this is what you aimed for, or if this is a topic you are interested in, the father sounds like a typical overbearing and controlling parent. Usually these types of parents show little respect and pride for their children, so your initial character goal for leading the cartel is sound, but I would take it a step further and have him want to win his father's respect.
One tip I would like to give is to correlate the notion of magic to fantasy. When people hear of magic, they think of all things unrealistic. And I feel you can tie that in to whatever your theme will be.
Another tip I would give is to increase the adverse effects of magic. Since you call it a drug, I would expect the effects to be more serious than fainting. Also, you can tie it in with drugs, having different classifications for types of magic. For example, stimulants, depressants, and hallucinogens. And you can also even base different types of magic on different drugs. Regardless if you choose to do that, I encourage you to explore what the different types of potions and pills there are and what they do.
Also, I assume magic is in the negative, so I encourage you to correlate it with a negative experience. For example, addiction or violent tendencies. Saying you could lose your humanity is fine, but I feel you would have a much stronger effect on your audience if you were to describe that extreme as something that is real. Also, I encourage the main character to be exposed by that as well.
Furthermore, I would love for you to develop the government more. I assume your magic cartel is one that is negative, however I would encourage you NOT to make the government a perfect solution. I feel you could address problems of corruption and maybe even connect the motiff of being controlled from the father to the government. You could use that opportunity to reference some of the flaws of the political system, that way Grant has the opportunity to figure out a better solution. For reference, you can look up the dialectic method, where a thesis (a solution to a problem) is challenged with an antithesis (a new way of solving something) and through their struggle, a synthesis is created (kind of like a compromise). I feel that through this, the message you display can be extremely powerful for readers.

Thanks for the feedback, @austinturtle !

This premise sounds like a coming of age story- where the child becomes an adult, making their own decisions.

I think this is a great way to think about the novel, and although it wasn't my aim (I haven't thought of what the moral would be), it sounds perfect for this novel.

Another tip I would give is to increase the adverse effects of magic.

I made an death an effect, I'm not sure if that's good or bad as an effect. I'll just cover that entire section. I'm not sure if hallucinogens, depressants and stimulants is the best way to think about magic. But I might add that in the future. As for the classes of magic, I haven't posted much on that because I'm struggling on that topic. I know for a fact that there are different types of magic, and all do different things. There isn't really a hierarchy on magic, at least, not as of now.

Also, I assume magic is in the negative, so I encourage you to correlate it with a negative experience. For example, addiction or violent tendencies.

I haven't been very specific on that, but it is correlated with tendencies as such. Magic is a dangerous thing, for the effects on people, and what they can do with it. I guess the tendencies are in the dangerous part, but I will be specific.

I know that I really do have to develop the government. I'm still deciding where and when this story takes place, so the government development will follow soon after. I definitely will be looking at the dialectic method.

Once again, thank you for the feedback, it helped a lot!
~Swordfish

Hey Swordfish! This looks like a really cool idea, so I thought I'd comment with some thoughts.

Sorry in advance for any typos, I'm typing on my phone and that rarely ends well.

This idea reminds me a little of Holly Black's Curseworkers books. The similarities being that magic is illegal and many of its practicioners belonging to/working for various "crime families" as they were called in the novel. Your magic system seems to work very differently to Holly Black's, so there is a fair amount of difference, but I'd reccommend checking the books out, because the way magic exists in society and the world building is pretty interesting, and could provide some food for thought for your own story. The first novel is White Cat, if you're interested.

I think you have a really good opportunity to make a link between drugs in our society and magic in your story's. I think as much as you want to have Grant's own personal growth and journey be super important, I see a pretty epic opportunity to have some interesting world building. Look at how governments deal with drugs - anti-drug campaigns, different legislation, any prevention and/or rehabilitation programs. How is the issue dealt eith on the media - are there calls for decriminalisation, is it full of propaganda, is it not talked about? I think if you try to make the magic in your story be treated similar to drugs, with some subtle comparisons going on in the background (too heavy handed and it would feel clumsy at best, and very poasibly didactic), I think you could make your story really interesting.

May I ask why you chose Merlin as the father's surname? It's possibly the most cliché wizard/magician name there is. If it's a name that your character has chosen for himself after entering the cartel, or whatever, I'd be fine with it (or even if his parents named him that with the hopes for him being a Magician), since it's a relfection of how they guy sees himself, but if it's his birth name just by chamce I'm not a fan. It's too cliché, but it could be okay if there's some explanation behind it.

I agree with austinturtle that you don't want it to be too black and white good and evil with the cartles and the government. Is there corruption in the governemnt, with politicians being bought or bribed by the cartels? Are there opposing views within he government as to how to deal with magic (most likely!)?

How does people using magic impact on society? Is it being used recreationally, or as a means of violence/committing crimes? You haven't entirely explained what exactly happens in terms of abilities, for want of a better word, when someone takes one of the potions. Is magic addictive?

You might already have the answers to a lot of these questions, but hopefully I've given you something to think about. If you end up posting this on YWS I'd be interested to read it, so let me know if you do!

Thanks for the feedback, @TriSARAHtops !

I may look into Curseworkers books. I have been really bored when it comes to reading, so I'd read anything right now.

I haven't thought of how magic is dealt with in the media, so I might as well mix it in with what the people think of magic. Not only is magic illegal, but the citizens dislike the whole idea to begin with. In most cases, you are unlikely to be a Magician unless you are born into a family of Magicians. Meanwhile, the citizens are brainwashed into thinking magic is pure evil. So as for the media, magic is usually covered with negative responses towards it.

Merlin is also just a placeholder name. I've been trying to look up possible new names for him because I really want to look at the meaning of possible names. Same thing for Grant, his name is 50% likely to be a placeholder. The American meaning of Grant is great, and I'm not quite sure if that's what I want his character to reflect upon. Grant was originally in reference to just fantasy itself, such as Granting a wish. Sorry if this makes no sense, but in summary, Grant and Merlin will probably not be keeping their names.

For government corruption, I'm in the process of researching that topic. The government will definitely have something in it that leads to a possible downfall, whether it's government corruption, a disagreement on how to handle magic, or not.

I don't want magic and drugs to be too similar, and I guess I'm looking for a balance of similarities/differences.

I can't quite answer any questions regarding magic as of now, but I will be trying to get answers as soon as possible.

Again, thank you for the feedback because this is what I really needed right now.

~Swordfish