z

Young Writers Society


Stuck On The Midpoint



User avatar
5 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 750
Reviews: 5
Tue Feb 02, 2016 4:16 am
Tecumseh says...



My story setting is modern day and has magic in it. Only certain classes of people perform magic due to legal restrictions on resources and practices and so there is a criminal underworld that deals in magical contraband. My protagonist has joined that underworld out of a boyish fascination for risk and rebellion, basically.

In the first quarter of the story, he makes enemies and learns that he can't survive in this risky industry alone thanks to the new target on his head. So, he joins a gang, which employs him, protects him, gives him a way to get even with his antagonists, and makes him feel like he's a part of something bigger.

But at the central turning point of the story, he needs to find out that the very same gun that fends off his rivals is also aimed at his heart. He needs to discover that this gang would just as quickly kill him if it were practical, and he needs to get out before it's too late. So, the events that follow this realization move all the chess pieces into play for the climax where he has everything on the line and nobody to bail him out.

What I'm having trouble fleshing out is how he comes to that realization that none of these people are truly his friends and that they'd kill him just as quickly as their current rivals. Are there other stories you have read, movies you have watched, vidya games you have played, where the protagonist realizes that "whoops, siding with these people was actually the worst idea ever, how do I lowkey get out of this ASAP?"
  





User avatar
1220 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 72525
Reviews: 1220
Tue Feb 02, 2016 6:02 am
View Likes
Kale says...



Unsounded immediately comes to mind. Sette's character arc seems to be headed towards this while Jivi and Matty's situations match up pretty well. Captain Toma's arc seems to be headed in this direction too, and Duane already went through his whole betrayal arc, though only pieces of it have been revealed so far. Quigley is probably the most similar to what you're looking for, though his story has yet to be revealed fully as well, and then there's Elan.

It isn't set in the modern day, but it involves magic being limited to certain classes and underground magical contraband galore.

I know I've read other stories with similar character arcs, but they're not coming to mind right now.
Secretly a Kyllorac, sometimes a Murtle.
There are no chickens in Hyrule.
Princessence: A LMS Project
WRFF | KotGR
  





User avatar
212 Reviews

Supporter


Gender: Male
Points: 13620
Reviews: 212
Wed Feb 03, 2016 2:18 pm
View Likes
birk says...



Hah, your world kind of sounds similar to The Dresden Files. That's neat.

Anyway, maybe there's another similar person to your main character in this gang, and he'll interact and bond with your MC throughout the story, and then towards the middle, the very thing that could happen to, happens to him; he's betrayed by the gang, probably just at the turn of a dime and left behind to die or worse. And seeing that they're capable of doing this to this person, kind of opens his eyes and makes him think of possible exits?
"I never saved anything for the swim back."


Do not mistake coincidence for fate. - Mr Eko

they're selling razor blades and mirrors in the street
  





User avatar
472 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 25
Reviews: 472
Thu Feb 04, 2016 7:21 am
View Likes
Lightsong says...



Well, first of all, avoid deus ex machina. Or any kind of device that conveniently tells him something is wrong with the people he sides with.

That cleared, you can have many ways to tell this. You can read Brandon Sanderson's Warbreaker if you want to ger a clue of one of the ways to do it. In that novel, what basically happened was Vivenna, a princess, had been fooled by the mercenaries she was allying with, and they had actually given subtle clues to their real nature. That's the first way. Give clues to how the people in your story act, and don't make them too obvious--make them subtle, instead. It must be something they do subconsciously, albeit extreme measures to hide their true intention.

Or, you can have the people's principles in certain parts collide with the protagonist's. This collision isn't enough to make him goes against them, but enough to make him question them. By having his moral compass tested, you can have him investigate the true nature of them. Since he is a part of them, the investigation should surely be risky and challenging, and that'd be a struggle worth exploring. It'd also help develop your character.

All in all, good luck with your story! :D
"Writing, though, belongs first to the writer, and then to the reader, to the world.

The subject is a catalyst, a character, but our responsibility is, has to be, to the work."

- David L. Ulin
  





User avatar
475 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 461
Reviews: 475
Sat Feb 06, 2016 10:42 pm
View Likes
Apricity says...



There are actually quite some stories that came into my mind as I read this post, but by the time for the actual reply they've flown out of my mind. Most novels deal with this in one way or the other, the realization of just how harsh and ruthless reality can be, how society isn't coated in honey and dancing ponies but in subtle lies and deception.

There are quite a lot of ways you could go about this, Lightsong has already mentioned some good ones and those before him as well. There are usually two types of realizations, there's the quick and sudden type in which the protagonist is jolted out of this reverie by an event (usually something that the protagonist isn't meant to see). This doesn't have to be violent fight or anything big, it can be as subtle as quiet conversation in midnight whereby the gang discusses something that comes across totally inhumane and vile. Your MC will either snap right out of it, or they will be in denial. In which we move to the second type.

They will slowly figure it out through time, because your MC relies on them for survival it's possible that they'll try to reassure themselves what they've seen or heard isn't true. You can build up the psychological pressure here, like Lightsong said you can drop subtle hints throughout the chapters. However, these hints should get more and more twisted as the novel progresses and at some point your MC will have to show signs of piecing them together. You can do this via action, with the MC observing the action of the gang overtime. The gang members interaction with each other in daily life and how they act during a fight, etc.

The second method will take time but I think, that's also the better method. It gives you many openings to explore just what exactly makes your MC squirm.

Good luck!
Previously Flite

'And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' ― Friedrich Nietzsche

~Open for business~
  





User avatar
5 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 750
Reviews: 5
Sun Feb 07, 2016 2:15 am
Tecumseh says...



Sorry it took some time for me to respond to all of y'all.

@Kyllorac
Thank you! I will read this here comic. and shamelessly steal and remix ideas.

@Birkhoff
Thank you for the input! Yeah, watching it happen to someone else is generally what I want to happen, where he realizes 'Wooooaaah, these people are cold-blooded," and somehow I just can't seem to flesh out any details beyond that, so, time to go be a charlatan and a thief and go copy something cool from other works.

@Lightsong
Yes indeed, distinguishing what is too-convenient to be believable is something I will have to look out for. Thank you for the response and the references!

@Hiraeth
I am the sort of person who is a fan of those books with horribly harsh realities. I do prefer the "slow realization over time" path, I think I will draft up some skeletons of both paths and see what ends up better than the other, but I already have a bias towards the slow-realization-over-time one. Thank you!
  








We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
— Arthur O'Shaughnessy