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So I had this idea...



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Thu Jan 21, 2016 3:59 am
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Kale says...



That's why I started out by asking you questions about things that I saw as potential issues: to make sure they were actually issues before I suggested improvements.

If you had provided the cultural context earlier, a lot of the above discussion based on assumptions and speculation could have been avoided.

We cannot read your mind and see what you have planned or why you think the idea deserves to be written; you have to show us that by providing us with enough information to understand what you are trying to do and how you want it to work out.

There are a lot of problems with your concept as-presented, and based on how it was presented, the rest of the people in this thread have commented and provided opinions as requested. You should still consider these opinions regardless of whether you agree with them or not because they apply to how you presented your idea, and if the posts here are any indication of how strongly people feel about how you'll be representing Native Americans, the presentation is in need of a complete rethink.

With that said, I have a few more questions.

Where does the tribe live?

What model of wolf behavior are you working from?

Why is the moon a goddess?
Secretly a Kyllorac, sometimes a Murtle.
There are no chickens in Hyrule.
Princessence: A LMS Project
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Thu Jan 21, 2016 4:20 am
XxXTheSwordsmanXxX says...



The tribe lives in a place near a large river where fish can be caught and the earth is fertile for growing crops. Winter brings frost, and snow on occasion, The forest is in easy walking distance for them to gather wood and supplies.

Most of what I read on Wolves comes from North American Timber Wolves,

I placed the moon as a goddess because of the tall tale about wolves and the moon as one, and two that the moon is often used as a measurement of months and, in turn, seasons for harvest and hunt. I thought this aspect would bring an aspect of spirituality to the culture as well as their belief of connection to the earth.
  





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Thu Jan 21, 2016 7:25 am
Kale says...



I was asking for a more specific location. Is it in the lower stretches of the Northeastern region of the continent? Northwestern? Bordering the Great Plains? In the South? All of those areas have forests which have frost during winter with occasional snow, but all of those forests are quite distinct with completely different plant and animal life.

You also gave me a subspecies instead of a model of behavior. There are several models of wolf behavior based on observations of wolf packs in the wild and in captivity. Are you using a model based on wild or captive wolves, and how old is this model?

There are a lot of issues with the last answer, but the biggest one deals with the answer to "How does this tie into the preexisting beliefs your inspirational cultures held with respect to the moon?" You also managed to not answer why you made the moon a goddess specifically (rather than, say, a god or object of great power).
Secretly a Kyllorac, sometimes a Murtle.
There are no chickens in Hyrule.
Princessence: A LMS Project
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Thu Jan 21, 2016 1:53 pm
XxXTheSwordsmanXxX says...



Well the first question is hard to explain. As the particular land doesn't actually exist. I am only basing terrain and wildlife off of similarities within our own world. But if I had to give a specific place where it would be, I would say just East of the Rockies in the Colorado area of the United States.

You're second question is also a difficult one to explain as I am looking at several models over a large period of time from different observations and different perspectives. I believe that if you want to find the truth of something, you have to look at a multitude of perspectives and see where they line up and where they differ. What I have incorporated into this culture is was a large group of people have observed about wild wolf activity.

Your last question has hit directly on a head that I have been trying to form since I first conceived this idea, and believe it or not I think I finally have an idea of what I am looking at. Within Native American culture, spanning many tribes and beliefs, the moon is seen as a spirit, though it has been given both male and female names. I am going to be throwing away the name goddess for something more fitting like, "Mother" or something to that effect. The way that it plays into all of this is that the moon is in fact a spirit, and a powerful one. The reason I am looking at naming her "mother", or something of that sort, is that she will speak with the members of the tribe in a very gentle way. Some would think it intuition or instinct while others see it as a the moon taking a direct action in certain events. They also believe that the moon has the power to influence their hunts to the point of even making their arrows miss their mark for the good of a larger plan. I sort of imagine this voice being something like a mother trying to guide her children, which is where I got the thought about the idea change. Does that address your question?
  





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Fri Jan 22, 2016 5:42 am
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Kale says...



So, the biggest issue with your answer to the first question is how, despite how much information you've shared so far, I had no idea this was set in a completely different world rather than it being contemporary fantasy. Also, Colorado gets a lot of snow, and unless you're on the mountain/the foothills, most of Colorado east of the Rockies is plains, so it doesn't match up with your description of the biome. You'll want to find a better analogue for your location.

Your answer to the wolf question is a very poor one. There are not many people who study or have studied wolf behavior, and one of them has written two definitive books on wolf behavior, one based entirely on captive wolf observations and the other based primarily on wild wolf observations. The former book is perhaps the single most influential source of information on wolves, and it popularized the pack structure and terminology most people are familiar with today (such as packs being lead by alphas). The latter book, however, is considered to be far more accurate since it is the culmination of several decades of captive and wild wolf observation. These two books and the papers published by their author are the most common sources used by pretty much every other source on wolf behavior.

This leads me to conclude that, while you have done some research, it's not nearly as much or as in-depth as you think it is. While it might not be as big an issue with the wolf aspect, the lack of depth in your research really shows in your answer about the moon as goddess. The peoples you have cited as your inspirations already have moon-figures within their own mythologies, but I can't see any of that influencing your idea of the moon's role.

I think it would be better if you steered away from a strong Native American influence because right now, you're running into a lot of stereotypes and offensive tropes without even realizing it (such as wolves = Native American), and working on creating an original culture would help you avoid these pitfalls before you run into them blind. The Great Hunt is the core of your idea anyway, and so building your culture from there with the relationship with the moon is the safer way to go, I think.

I don't think you currently have the knowledge or skills to pull off the idea well, though trying to would be a valuable learning experience. Just be aware that it will probably not be as well-received as you are hoping, and that there will be a lot of major issues in it that will become obvious after you've written at least one draft out in full.

If you really want to write this project, go for it, otherwise, I think recycling the idea of the Great Hunt into another project is the safer route.
Secretly a Kyllorac, sometimes a Murtle.
There are no chickens in Hyrule.
Princessence: A LMS Project
WRFF | KotGR
  








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