z

Young Writers Society


Story Idea--Need Feedback



User avatar
12 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 603
Reviews: 12
Mon Jan 04, 2016 7:52 pm
wridingislife says...



Hello all! So, I have an idea for a story and I'd really like some help with the plot and general feedback.

So the story is centered around angels and demons. But the real angels aren't the chunky babies you see in the fountains. They're stronger and wiser than humans and they don't have bird wings. It's difficult to explain. When you look at one, it's like staring at the sun without going blind and you get the same terror as if you were looking at your murderer. Generally speaking, angels aren't seen on earth until a boy comes along named Noah. (I can't decide whether Noah is ten or twenty)

Noah has no problems seeing the angels (and demons) of this world. The archangels get a little nervous when Noah at age seven manages to kill his first guardian angel. (I haven't worked out how he managed that quite yet) The narrator of the story is a guardian angel named Valerie. As a form of punishment for her rebellious attitude she is sentenced to be Noah's guardian. She soon finds out that the boy is eagerly sought after by a very powerful demon named Damon.

Together, Valerie and her earthly assignment have to fight to defeat Damon and his band of misfit demons. The catch with this story is that, I want the ending to be bittersweet. Like, Noah is depressed or something to begin with and he finally comes around but is killed in the end. To get the feeling I would like, he needs to die.
I am so clever sometimes that I don't understand a single word of what I'm saying.
~Oscar Wilde
  





User avatar
277 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1335
Reviews: 277
Mon Jan 04, 2016 8:02 pm
Charm says...



I like the way that story sounds and it reminds me of Cassie Clare's novels since she also writes about angels and demons. Your story is nothing like hers so you don't need to worry about that. You should do lots of biblical research on angels and demons just so it seems more "realistic" I guess. Sorry I'm not that good at thinking of words at times. Just because this is not a biblical story it is always good to have great research.
Also I absolutely hate it when writers kill of their main character. I despise it. So much. I like bittersweet endings but I can't- ugh it bothers me so much. This is one of the reasons I really don't like divergent!
Anyway I would like to read this story but knowing that you are going to kill off your main character I don't think I will, sorry.
  








Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
— Winston Churchill