z

Young Writers Society


Any way to save this from cliche?



User avatar
6 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 714
Reviews: 6
Sat Nov 28, 2015 12:36 am
CarolineHart says...



So, I have a plot bunny that won't go away. Basically, it's Battle Royale meets Marie Lu's stuff meets Divergent meets Uglies, in cyberpunk'd Rome.

Basically, teens are recruited by competing boarding schools, either because they have talent, their families signed them up, or they were forced by the government because of their families crimes, etc. They compete, against each other or against different schools, in one on one challenges. Gladiator-style combat, challenges of intelligence, beauty pageants.... They train within their school to build up credits to spend on enhancements (hence the cyberpunk) like pills to stimulate your brain, cosmetic surgery, implanted devices under their skin, etc. They're then matched totally randomly, so you could be a newbie and matched against someone whose been at it for years and has all the tech. Many challenges end in death, and if not, massive injury or public humiliation. I'm thinking of focusing on a school for girls aged fifteen to twentyish.

I'm worried that it sounds super cliche. Is there any way to rescue it? I'm not going to do a love triangle, and I'm aiming for diversity in my characters, so hopefully that'll help. Right? Any other ideas?
  





User avatar
456 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 69427
Reviews: 456
Sat Nov 28, 2015 1:10 am
EternalRain says...



Honestly, it seems fine. I wouldn't say too cliché - a bit, maybe, but not too cliché. If you're worried it's too cliché as you're writing, just add plot twists! Add turns people aren't expecting, and that totally flips the "sorta cliché" to "not cliché".

The idea sounds really cool though. It's a little Hunger Games-ish - fighting 'till they get something - but it has its own personality and difference that I think it'd work.

Just be careful and don't stray to close to things like "factions" (Divergent, Harry Potter, The Darkest Minds, Percy Jackson [a bit] etc etc). I think mild groupings are fine, like if they're split up into groups based on gender and age, but nothing too specific like Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff and Candor and Erudite. It's been used too many times.

Also, if you have a government that's in power (Divergent, Hunger Games, The Darkest Minds, Uglies) just make sure it has a reason. Again, governments in power are used a lot (I guess that's a dystopian setting, though), but just be wary of how you're going about it and give Congress and The President or whoever's in power good reason.


I think that's all I have! It really doesn't seem that cliché to me, but really, it's all how the story plays out and how you end up writing it.

Anyways, good luck! Make the story your own. Give it its own flair and plot twists and personality, and that's all you really need! I really like the idea though, it's totally something I would read. c: Good luck!
“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”

-- Lemony Snicket


Check out Squills!

Need a Review?
  





User avatar
6 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 714
Reviews: 6
Sat Nov 28, 2015 1:36 am
View Likes
CarolineHart says...



Thank you! As for the government, it's an alternate history where Rome never fell, so I'm aiming for more of power being passed along, but not really changing in form.
  





User avatar
1220 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 72525
Reviews: 1220
Sat Nov 28, 2015 2:05 am
Kale says...



Execution will determine whether or not something feels cliche or not, but you can't judge the execution if it hasn't been written out.

A lot of stories have very similar elements and even plot progressions and characters, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing. These familiar elements can help make a story feel just familiar enough that it isn't weird, but not so familiar that it's predictable.

And even if things come out super predictable in the first draft, revision and rewriting are important parts of the writing process that can fix those problems.

But as I said before, it's hard to judge a story that hasn't been written yet, and so I would recommend focusing more on writing the first draft first before worrying about anything else.
Secretly a Kyllorac, sometimes a Murtle.
There are no chickens in Hyrule.
Princessence: A LMS Project
WRFF | KotGR
  








Teach a man to fish, he eats for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, you eat for a day. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.
— Ron Swanson (Parks and Rec)