z

Young Writers Society


Description help needed:)



User avatar
10 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 436
Reviews: 10
Thu Jun 04, 2015 12:43 pm
DamienCyfer says...



I am currently writing a story, but the problem is is that I don't know how I can describe it without overdoing it to much. It will need a lot of explaining, but i don't want to make it boring. Anyone have any advice? Please reply.
“To gain your own voice, you have to forget about having it heard.”
—Allen Ginsberg, WD
  





User avatar
18 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 254
Reviews: 18
Thu Jun 04, 2015 1:01 pm
BlueLitMoon says...



DamienCyfer,

I used to have that problem as well, and some authors decide to do that but it can be hard to understand what they are trying to say. Just try to go with the flow. What i do is free write first, and then after that i read back over it and edit it. I also recommend using a thesaurus if you do not feel like a word is matching the sentence. I hoped this help at least a little bit.

Cassie :D
“...Despite the mayhem that followed, Bruno found that he was still holding Shmuel's hand in his own and nothing in the world would have persuaded him to let go.”

― John Boyne, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas
  





User avatar
377 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 119
Reviews: 377
Thu Jun 04, 2015 1:14 pm
Snazzy says...



I like to use the phrase "show, don't tell". If you feel like your just stating the facts-
"She had brown hair."
That's telling.
"Her shiny chestnut hair was waist-length."
That's showing. Let the reader see her hair, feel her hair...er...smell her hair. XD (no tasting in this example though ;) ) I like to use personification sometimes too. :D
As for too much description, if it starts to take away from the words actually there-then that's to much. ;)
"The graceful dog's smooth golden fur shimmered in the bright August sun.
That's probably too much. ;)
Hope this helps! :D
~Snazzy
Disciple of Christ • Coffee Addict • Poetry Consumer

Formerly SnazzyPencil
  





User avatar
1220 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 72525
Reviews: 1220
Thu Jun 04, 2015 4:57 pm
View Likes
Kale says...



Generally-speaking, your descriptions should do more than just describe how something looks/smells/feels/tastes. Descriptions, when done well, also reveal a lot about the characters, the mood of the scene, the current actions as they occur, as well as some background information.

For example, using Snazzy's hair example, instead of just describing the color and length of her hair, you could tie it into the action of the scene so that it's an integral part of the action. Let's say she's a gymnast:

Her chestnut hair gleamed orange in the flood lights as she landed a perfect back flip onto the balance beam. She rose fluidly and shifted into the next set in her routine, her waist-length hair flowing around her form in complementary arcs.

Something that might also help is to pare down your writing to only the most essential of details and actions. This will help you get the sequence of actions in order (so that things aren't confusing) as well as see which actions could use more explanation so that you don't have a random detail coming in from nowhere. You can always add more description in to flesh out your writing, and it's a lot easier to add than to subtract.
Secretly a Kyllorac, sometimes a Murtle.
There are no chickens in Hyrule.
Princessence: A LMS Project
WRFF | KotGR
  








We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.
— Arthur O'Shaughnessy