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I need help with a story...



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Wed Mar 25, 2015 7:59 pm
VergilthePoet says...



Ok guys, I need help. So I want to write a story based around a topic that I came up with a few months ago. My issue is that I don't know if the story is worth working on and if it is, how should I start it. Here's the story:

Three-hundred years ago, two brothers, currently named John and Nick, learned from a master alchemist trying to get a better understanding of the world. Eventually, the master alchemist creates the Philosopher's Stone and, once he knows he can trust the brothers, he grants them the knowledge of how to use it, multiply it, and create gold from it. From this, the three gain limited immortality. They can live without age or disease, but they can still be hurt or killed.

Within a hundred years the brothers realize their master has become corrupted by the immortality and choose to take his resources and leave him. They spend their next two hundred years living in a hidden room in the city, trying to avoid the eyes of society. They barely ever leave their room except John on rainy nights. On one particular night, John stumbles onto a woman who is escaping from a human trafficking ring. He originally wasn't going to help, as he doesn't like getting involved in human affairs, however he realizes they are too close to his home, so he chooses to assist this once. After beating the guys chasing her, he tells her to buzz off. However, she has no where to go. Once she appeals to his better nature, he escorts her to his home but not before puffing Devil's Breath powder in her face to temporarily cut off her memory. Later, she reveals that she was being chased because she accidentally saw the face of the man who runs not only the human-trafficking ring, but the drug industry and even some politics. John wouldn't care if it wasn't for one thing: the man was his old master.

The story from there follows the brothers as they are discovered, chased and try to make a decision on whether or not they should concern themselves with human affairs or if they should decide to fight back or run away like they've always done. My issue right now is trying to decide whether or not the story is even worth working on and, if it is, how I should start the story. If you guys could help me figure this out, I'd really appreciate it. Don't be afraid to be honest with me and try to tear it apart, just don't be rude about it. Thanks for reading and any help you are able to provide!
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Wed Mar 25, 2015 8:14 pm
Kanome says...



Well, I personally like this because it sounds like a show I used to watch called Fullmetal Alchemist...
Try writing a prologue or first chapter for everyone or if you want, I can read it in PM, to read to determine if it needs some working on or not. It's a good story so far as I can tell.

I wish you luck c:
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Wed Mar 25, 2015 8:19 pm
Vervain says...



Advice: Don't worry about if it's a "good idea" or not. Write a first draft and see if it's a story you want/need to tell. Really, seeing if it's a good enough idea to write is kind of like saying "is this cheese pizza recipe good?" when you're vegan. You can make it good, and you can make it good with your choices, but it's going to be hard to tell if it's good or not if it's not being made yet.

Other advice: You're not going to write the perfect beginning the first time around. You'll have drafts ahead of you to tweak and find the perfect balance between exposition and the actual start of the plot; as it is, I usually start as close as possible to the beginning of the plot itself so I don't agonize over "is this too much exposition?"
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Wed Mar 25, 2015 8:30 pm
VergilthePoet says...



I know all about FMA, though I would like to point out that I've done research on alchemy and the work of alchemists in the past, so the effects of alchemy and the power of the stone will absolutely not be related to the power of alchemy and the stones in FMA. I knew someone was going to point out the similarity, but they practice laboratory alchemy whereas FMA's alchemy is far different from what I've researched for this story. Thanks for the comment though!
---All things are poison---
  





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Wed Mar 25, 2015 8:30 pm
VergilthePoet says...



Arkhaion wrote:Advice: Don't worry about if it's a "good idea" or not. Write a first draft and see if it's a story you want/need to tell. Really, seeing if it's a good enough idea to write is kind of like saying "is this cheese pizza recipe good?" when you're vegan. You can make it good, and you can make it good with your choices, but it's going to be hard to tell if it's good or not if it's not being made yet.

Other advice: You're not going to write the perfect beginning the first time around. You'll have drafts ahead of you to tweak and find the perfect balance between exposition and the actual start of the plot; as it is, I usually start as close as possible to the beginning of the plot itself so I don't agonize over "is this too much exposition?"

Thank you!
---All things are poison---
  








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