The following is an email I sent after realizing my perfectionism was killing me. Hope this helps others in the same boat as me!
Just write. That's been the secret this whole time. Thank you for telling me that. Though you were not the first, you were right. If I never write, I will never get out of this rut. It's going to be difficult to accept that I suck for a bit, but I will get over it. I will write.
As for the Santa story, I gave up... because there is a story I would much rather write. I lost passion for that story, so I'm leaving it for now. Perhaps I'll come back to it next Christmas season, but I won't worry about that. I left that story for one I've been writing for as long as I can remember, writing in my mind that is.
I remember Adam Gidwitz, author of A Tale Dark and Grim, visiting my school when I was in 8th grade. It was one of the greatest moments of that year. I loved hearing talk about the origins of his book and his writing history. What interest me the most was when he said that ever since he was little he was a writer. He recalled playing with action figures and making up stories in his head. That, to him, was writing.
I don't know if it hit me that day, but I've been doing the same thing forever. Ever since elementary school, I've daydreamed about having adventures with my friends and fictional characters, constantly imagining new scenes. Depending on my interest at the time, I would infuse them with things I liked. All throughout middle school and even now, I constantly put myself in different hypothetical situations. Emotion plays a big part in what I inagine. The stories aren't always action, sometimes they are merely emotional resonances. I love my friends more than almost anything in the world, so they are always on my mind. There always seems to be at least one person I want to befriend that doesn't want the same. It's these scenarios and deep thought processes, I think, that keep me sane and hopefull (not to mention they are fun as heck!) From Pokemon and Dragon Ball Z to time travel and my own worlds, I am always daydreaming of possibilities.
So, with all that explained, I want to write a story about the things I've imagined for the past eight years or so. Actually, a series of stories. I know most of my ideas are silly, ridiculous even, but they are so fun to thinl about. I often get lost in them, and replicating them in the form of writing sounds awesome. I'm going to have choose which scenarios and daydreams to include, as well as think of new ones, but it all sounds exciting. I am even going to include both aspects of my real life and of my imagination. As of right now, the plan is to write an opening story that introduces myself and a few other characters, the main villains, the components of the story (such as The Vest of Knowledge and that black notebook I always carry around with me), and the world in which we live. Then, I will write a series of stand alone stories. New characters will appear in each one, but most characters will reoccur in several. Perhaps I'll even add an overall arc.
I don't know if I'm getting ahead of myself or if I'm biting off more than I can chew, but my daydreams are starting to make sense now. I wrote a little snippet of my character questioning why he was chosen to wear The Vest of Knowledge and promising to tap into both The Vest's powers and his own to become what the civilization invisioned.
"I will achieve this, for I am Juan Marcos Sanchez!"
It was complete crap (pardon my language), but I kind of enjoyed writing it. I felt annoyed that I couldn't write perfectly, but I kept going and wrote an entire page. Like I said, it's taking some time to let go of my perfectionism, but I will. (Btw my character is even going to call himself by the fake name Juan Marcos Sanchez, just like I like to do in real life!
What do you think of all this? This series of stories will not be the only stories I write, as I have other ideas, too. Plus, essays and such. I'm still worried that my writing will not work out, but I'm doing my best to push past that. Thank you once again for putting up with my complaints and giving me advice!!!!! I hope to show you and the rest of this website my work soon.
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