Young Writers Society

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I suppose you'd call it a thriller. Tentatively titled Animus. Setting is present-day Biloxi, Mississippi, home to the dying Dixie mafia. The novel will follow four characters: Daniel Baker, early thirties, a furniture salesman whose brother is murdered; Mark Wheeler, early forties, a borderline insane outlaw working for the Dixie mafia who killed Baker's brother; Raymond Johnson, early fifties, lawyer working for Dixie mafia who becomes so disgusted by his clients that he considers sabotaging them at the risk of his career; Nick Davis, 19, a blogger hiding the fact that he's dropped out of college. Davis is mysteriously tied to a treasure from the Invasion of Grenada, and bad men attempt to use him to get their hands on the treasure. Wheeler is enlisted to help these men. Baker sets out to exact revenge on Wheeler. Johnson continues plotting against the Dixie mafia. Poor Davis just wants to score a date.
That's basically what I have so far. If anyone has any suggestions on something concrete to motivate Johnson to undermine the Dixie mafia, I'd appreciate it. Or just ideas/feedback in general. Thanks, guys!

For motivation for your lawyer, you're looking for a tipping point. Why did he start working for the mob in the first place? Greed is the obvious one. If you're a good lawyer and working for the mob, you're exceptionally well paid for what you do. And reviled by more idealistic lawyers and hated by the police and other law enforcement, but hey--you've got mob protection.

There's the good ole Change of Heart option, where he realizes what he's doing is wrong and he wants to change it. Maybe he's found god or a loved one has gotten to his head or he had a breakthrough over a childhood trauma. But honestly, at least to me, that's really boring and predictable and...well, boring.

Maybe, since he's older, he misses the days of the old mob. His misses the old boss. Maybe when the kid took over, things started to get different. There used to be a code of some kind. It was brutal but there was a strange set of honor to it, you know? But nowadays it's machine guns and drugs and cocky punk mob kids with iPads and cybercrime and it's wearing on him and he's old and doesn't want to do it any more, but it's not as if the mob's just going to let him out, is it? He'll have to stage something. Or go to the FBI and offer his help in return for a witness protection deal.

Maybe he's learned he has terminal cancer from all the damn mob cigars and with death looming over him, he doesn't fear mob retribution?

Or maybe he's learned he has a kid, and he doesn't want that kid to have that lawyer for a father. Or the last thing the guy wants to do for his kid is leave the streets a little safer.

Though. I've heard it said--maybe it's a cultural myth--that some of the safest places are the streets and cities with a heavy mob presence. Because other crime won't trend in that territory. A man I met once said he told his daughter to move in onto a mob street in NYC because he knew she'd be safe from lowlifes.

Maybe he's just tired.

Maybe he's bored.

Maybe this is revenge a long time coming.

The options are endless....

The mob actually does genuinely protect the people within its territory, because it's good public relations. They can go so far as to provide relief for natural disasters.

It's also easier to keep cops off their tails if they protect kids, because crimes for going against kids tend to be cracked down on a little harder. When harder drugs hit the streets in the 50s, the mobsters didn't want to deal near schoolyards... because then they'd be "more evil" in the eyes of the politicians and police they relied on for protection.

Remember, organized crime tends to have stakes— either friends or actual organized crime members— in the police force and political spheres. Same deal with terrorist organizations. They need that influence in order to stay protected, and to know what legal loopholes they can exploit. It takes more than one good mob lawyer.

My suggestion would be to expand the character relations you have in here. You have four characters, but how do they interact? How do they interact with the social fabric? Namely the justice system, but the political lobbyists as well. How does money flow through the organization, and how much of it goes for bribes and other public relations activities such as taking care of the community?