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Young Writers Society


Critique?



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11 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 245
Reviews: 11
Tue Sep 16, 2014 9:58 pm
TheCardsHaveNoMemory says...



I am looking for a reason to continue on this poetic journey. I can't show my family my poems, so looks like I'm showing you. But I just want to be criticized. To be told what to do differently. To be told where to go more. If you can, please check out my poem and oblige me.
If Fate were moved by tears, men would offer gold to buy them.
Yet grief still puts them forth, as the tree puts forth leaves.
  








This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movement of small green pieces of paper, which was odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy