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Is My Character Cliche?



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Wed Jul 16, 2014 6:54 pm
mephistophelesangel says...



Hey guys!

I just wanted to hear other people's opinions about one of the main characters in my story, to see if he's a little too perfect or a little too flat or cliche. Please give me your opinions if you have time for it, it would help me so much! :)


His name is Abel Snow (which is one of his favorite names, because he doesn't really have a name, he's an animal), and he's 3,161 years old.

He is not human, he is a fox. But like many others, he consumed human livers and got turned into a 'many-tailed fox', which is a term used to address foxes who have more than one tails and have superior physical strength. Those many-tailed foxes can turn into human forms that they desire to seduce humans and then make the human fall in love with them, so that they can eat their (humans') livers. If you eat a hundred livers, you would gain another tail. The tail is a symbol of power and rank among the many-tailed foxes.

Abel is a nine-tailed fox. It is the highest rank among foxes, with the consummation of 900 livers or more. There are a very few nine-tailed foxes remaining.

He is portrayed as a very lonely character. He wasn't that alone all his life; he used to have friends in the earlier stage of his life, but because of an event, his friends left him, and even his best friend told him to stay away from him. The event was Abel killing a mother and a father, because their child was a cross between a human and a many-tailed fox. He was especially agitated and enraged by the half-breed, because his mother had gotten killed by the Hunters, which is a group of humans dedicated to rid the world of the many-tailed foxes.

Among the many-tailed foxes, it's a really big thing to kill another fox. You get three chances: If you kill three many-tailed foxes, you are condemned to death by older many-tailed foxes, by methods that are not clear yet.

He is thrown into the major plot line by the return of the Hunters, who have been absent for many centuries. The Hunters used to have some sort of magic that could kill many foxes very easily, but it is lost now. Yet, they fight with number and weapons, while on the other hand, the many-tailed foxes don't have that many numbers but are very powerful.

When he is forced to join forces with the other many-tailed foxes, he meets the son of the parents whom he murdered, Mason, and among all the blood being spilled and threats to his entire race, he struggles with the faults of the past and his best friend, who abandoned him rightfully centuries ago.

Although to others he seems like a tearless maniac, he can still care. He doesn't really give a crap about what happens to nearly everyone in general, but he really loves his best friend, Dominic, and wishes that things would go back to the way they'd been before he murdered Mason's parents (And in here, the term 'love' doesn't refer to sexual affection, only affection between friends, like family).

As he grows to know Mason, he feels slightly guilty about killing his parents, because it wasn't really Mason's fault. So he kind of starts to protect Mason from the Hunters, along with Dominic, who also beats himself up only a little, because he knows that he could have stopped Abel from killing Mason's parents.

After the first massive attack by the Hunters, Abel struggles within himself, for he can see Dominic using him. Because he still cares about Dominic, it hurts him more than he expected, and unable to bear being around Dominic anymore, he leaves, which, later, causes him to die.

When he is finally dead, he comes to terms with what had happened when he was alive, because he realizes that he can't go back, and that the past is the past, death means over. Because of that, he is portrayed as a much peaceful and understanding character when his soul temporarily slips into Dominic's dream to tell him what he hadn't been telling anyone before dying.

He likes snow, he likes watching the stars, and he treasures his memories with Dominic (like a song he used to listen with Dominic). He is a character who has spent way too long of a time by himself, and that had taken a toll on him. He is sad, grieving and longing for what he had pushed away unconsciously, and he thinks that those emotions would be able to be calmed down by the feelings that come with killing, which is why he seems like a maniac to others. Later in the book (while he is still alive) he does start to go a little wrong in the head.
  





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Wed Jul 16, 2014 7:38 pm
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Holysocks says...



It seems to me that Abel is a little unbalanced. He seems like he's a very very sad character, with not many other emotions other than love and anger. I would say that he needs to have some sort of light side, or this story is going to be quite depressing ( not trying to be mean ).

How about some quirks? I think quirks are the most common and loved ways of making a character unique. Perhaps Abel uses a bib when he eats livers? Maybe he likes to where bowties when he's in fox form? Or, you never know, he enjoys reading to plants! Really, there's all kinds of different quirks that would lighten things up a bit, and keep your character realistic.

Another thing I found that helps ( I had the same problem were I felt my characters were often cliché ) is to really get to know your character, and I mean really get to know him. Think up a whole bunch of things that you want to know - or you think you should know - about your character, write all the questions down in a note book, answer all the questions, and think about it for awhile. Just kind of absorb all that you've learnt about your character.

Think about yourself, your family, your friends. Think about the guy that works at the gas station down town. They're all characters, and they're all so much deeper than you could ever imagine. There's memories, thoughts, feelings, family secrets, personal secrets, goals, failures, a good side, a bad side, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. and than there's still their physical appearance!!! It's a big job, making a character and it shouldn't be taken lightly! However, it should always be an enjoyable thing. :-D

Have fun!!!
100% autistic
  





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Thu Jul 17, 2014 12:49 am
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Rosendorn says...



Honestly, we can't tell if a character is going to be based on a simple description. Characters are multifaceted people who react differently to different situations, and when writing descriptions of them we tend to not focus on the full depth of the characters.

Write the story out, and make sure you have him make mistakes. Cliches and bad writing tends to come in when the character does everything right. Also, make sure to have repercussions to his present day actions, not just the big event that he did before the plot started.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





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Mon Sep 01, 2014 2:04 am
Shiverfeather says...



I have to agree with Rosey. In a discription you can't tell. A character can be super cliche but if written well it works. we don't get a sense of the character there. it doesnt sound to cliche though-from what i can tell. It depends on writing, there are plenty of authors who can take the most cliche idea ever and make it amazing. :D 8)
  








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