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Fri Jun 15, 2018 6:50 pm
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Demeter says...



Hi all! I’m joining LMS for the first time ever, roguing my way to finishing the first draft of this mess of a thing that has been in my head for many years. My problem is that I’m not disciplined, so hopefully the challenge can help me finish (I’m pretty close already)!

The genre is what I like to call “pseudohistorical chick lit”. Basically, not fantasy because there isn't any magic or other fantasy elements - but not historical either because this isn't a real time or place. Basically, I just wanted the characters to wear long dresses and drive around in horse carriages.


Description of the story:

In an unspecified olden time of long dresses and small kingdoms, Saegen and Myriad are 18-year-old best friends with a mission. From ever since they were little children, their dream has been to marry princes and host glamourous tea parties together for the rest of their lives. When the opportunity arises to acquaint themselves with said princes, the frivolous Myriad is thrilled – and she and Prince Sumner seem to quickly find a match in each other. Saegen, on the other hand, finds everything she has ever dreamt of in the shy and reserved Prince Alfred. But is it enough? Everything has gone just as the girls had secretly always hoped, but it turns out that what Saegen’s all-but-sister Myriad wants, and what 7-year-old Saegen thought she wanted, is not necessarily what 18-year-old Saegen wants. Myriad is flabbergasted to see her usually gentle and composed friend starting to act out and associate with a character who is as handsome as he is suspicious…


Goal: 1,000 words per week until I finish the draft


Other thoughts:

Even though I have been working on this at some capacity for probably about seven years (very on and off), it’s only in the recent months that I’ve started to realise where this story is wanting to go. Also, this post is the first writing I’ve done for this project for more than six months, so it’s going to take a bit of time to get back on track. My goal is just to finally finish even one draft, so while I keep telling myself how problematic everything about this is, I just want to push through.

This is also very much a character story. As you can see, there’s no big plot to speak of, but it deals mainly with Saegen and Myriad’s friendship and how it develops when the girls (mainly Saegen, I suppose) realise that they’re not the same people they were as children. This latter part is something I’ve only realised very recently – one of the reasons I haven’t been writing was that I was trying to push the story somewhere it didn’t want to go, much like Myriad is unintentionally pushing Saegen for this life that was “always meant to be”.

Feel free to give comments or ask questions! However, I can’t guarantee that I’ll be able to give proper answers as my motive here is to just finish the draft and then think about what I actually should be doing. Thank you for reading, if you’re reading this!
"Your jokes are scarier than your earrings." -Twit

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Fri Jun 15, 2018 6:52 pm
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Lauren2010 says...



I AM SO HERE FOR THIS
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Fri Jun 15, 2018 6:59 pm
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beckiw says...



In an unspecified olden time of long dresses and small kingdoms


SOLD

and associate with a character who is as handsome as he is suspicious…


DOUBLE SOLD

I am so so soooo happy that soon there will be a full draft of this story! And I think it's really nice that you're keeping it about Saegen and Myriad's relationship and how they're growing up. I really love personal stakes in stories and seeing a character push through road blocks they put up for themselves.

You're gonna do this and it's gonna be great <3
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Sat Jun 16, 2018 8:10 pm
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StellaThomas says...



"Pseudohistorical chick lit" is the best genre I've ever heard of.

I'm glad that you've been sort of re-energised to write this story, because I have always loved and and am just even more excited for it since you explained there might be a new direction!
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Sun Jun 17, 2018 1:14 am
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Meshugenah says...



Pseudohistorical chick lit. I love it, I love you, and I'll have nothing helpful to say but yay!
***Under the Responsibility of S.P.E.W.***
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Mon Jul 02, 2018 7:19 pm
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Demeter says...



Thank you so much for the comments, lovely ladies <3

I have been super lazy and not even posted a character sheet or pretty much anything. I think I'm not really expecting for anyone to follow this, considering it's nearly at the end and most people don't know anything about this. So I'm just going to post here very lurkingly.

Here's what I wrote today on this first day of LMS! 1,428 words, end of Chapter 31.

(Line breaks and formatting are all messed up but it's not meant to be read anyway.)

Spoiler! :
“He – did – not…” Alfred’s words were drowned in her shoulder, and she realised that he was crying. Then his head shot up, he let her go gently and stepped in the corridor.
“Sebastian”, Saegen heard him say, “get Arthur and tell him to get his men together. It’s Tristan Caraway. He was last seen in the village of Cabon. I want him seized.”
“Certainly, sir”, replied an authoritative voice.
Alfred closed the door again. He was visibly trembling, and his face was stormier than she had ever seen. His breathing was slow and determined, but his fists were clenched up.
“Sit down with me, Saegen.”
Saegen sat.
“I am… so sorry for what you have had to endure. I feel like this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t acted so stupidly.”
“It might still have”, Saegen said, not sure how she was feeling. “I made my choices. He certainly made his. Do you know him?”
Alfred closed his eyes. “Yes. His father used to work at the palace. At the stables. Him too, for a time. When I was younger, I used to play with all the boys whose fathers worked here. But he never wanted anything to do with me. He was hostile, and it didn’t change as we grew. Maybe got even worse. Some months ago, a maid was… hurt. She refused to talk, but all the staff were whispering that he was the culprit, so I dismissed him.”
Alfred paused, but Saegen knew there had to be more. Still, the thought of him knowing Alfred, interacting with him – since they were little children! – nauseated her. Somehow it made everything even more unbearable.
“I didn’t try to find out the truth”, Alfred said bitterly, eyes still closed. “I was glad for an excuse to let him go.” He sighed. “He got aggressive, saying that I would pay. I thought he was just talking, but… I guess he wasn’t. I guess this is my punishment. I would’ve been ready for whatever he thought I deserved, but…” Alfred slammed his fist into the wall behind the settee, which startled a gasp out of Saegen. “To think he chose you as his method of revenge… I want to see him suffer.”
The silent numbness was settling over Saegen again. Could this really be the reason behind what had happened to her? Was she only ever the way to get back at Alfred for what might have been an unjustified dismissal? Alfred had based his decision on gossip, after all.
But still… Saegen ground her teeth, stifling a cry. However wrong Alfred had been, not making the effort to find out the truth, Tristan had still done what he had done to her. That was unexcusable.
“If I hadn’t let him go… if I had even tried to look into it…”
“You can’t know that”, Saegen said curtly.
“Saegen, I am so ashamed. I want to explain myself to you, why I didn’t… why I was so… cold.”
“You don’t have to”, Saegen said. After all, the damage was already done, wasn’t it? She had made her choice. Nothing he would say would make her doubt it, because the real problem was within her own self.
“I need to”, Alfred said. “But it’s very difficult to bring myself to say it. It’s ridiculous.”
Saegen waited. She wasn’t sure if, at this point, she even cared very much. But if he wanted to, she’d let him.
“I was… scared, I guess”, Alfred said. “Sumner had proposed to Myriad, and I was kind of worried… that you would think… I was going to do it too. Or that you expected it. I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to, of course I do, but… it’s early, isn’t it? We’re young. There’s no rush. And I kind of… tried to do what I could to avoid the subject. But it didn’t really work out like I thought it would. I just… became… I don’t even know. And it was really unfair. Can you please forgive me, Saegen?”
Saegen wondered whether she was hearing properly. Or whether what she heard connected to her brain properly. Engagement? Was that really what everything boiled down to? That Alfred had taken the liberty to imagine what she was thinking and then chosen to believe it, without trying to find out whether it was the truth?
Without trying to find out. Now where had she heard that before?
And why did everyone expect her to go down this road? What reason had she ever given for it?
“Please say something, Saegen”, Alfred said.
“I… I can’t believe you”, Saegen stammered. “Are you being serious right now?”
“I’m sorry. I just…”
“You shut me out for something that you thought I was thinking? Alfred, that’s like being angry at someone for what they did in a dream. If you haven’t figured it out already, it actually pays to find out the truth about people. It only brings troubles if you don’t. Isn’t that right?”
Alfred looked at her, stupefied. “Are you defending Tristan for what he did to you?”
Saegen stared. “What on earth in the words I just said made you draw that ludicrous conclusion? Are you hearing yourself?”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m just upset for what you’ve had to go through. And guilty. I’m not thinking straight.”
“I know.” Saegen sighed. She tried to recover her breath, but it would probably be a while until she could inhale and exhale at a normal pace. “Let me just… I never expected you to do anything. Why would I have? I just wanted to be with you. I thought so, at least.”
“Me too”, Alfred said. “And, Saegen… I know you don’t need to hear this right now, but… the fact that I’m not ready now… doesn’t mean that I won’t be later.”
Saegen closed her eyes. This was, ultimately, what she had come here for, but it didn’t mean that she was prepared.
“Alfred, I… things have changed. A long time ago, but I just didn’t realise. I’m sorry, but… I think it’s best if I’m not with you. I really like you, but this isn’t right for me. I’m sorry that I didn’t realise it sooner.”
“What do you mean?” Alfred looked the definition of forlorn. Saegen had never seen the embodiment of the word on another person’s face, and it was terrible.
“I think this – us – was someone else’s idea. I didn’t even think about whether I wanted it or not. I would have as a child, and I guess… because I had always had this thought, it became an accessory. I didn’t stop to think about how I actually thought about it.”
“What are you talking about? Whose idea was it then?”
“When we were children, Myriad and I always made believe… that we were princesses, that we would marry princes when we grew up. It’s ridiculous, I know. But it was real to us then. Myriad got her prince, obviously… and I had a chance for mine. But it’s a fairytale, Alfred. It was so convenient, me having the chance to meet you, and Myriad and Sumner… maybe it was predestined. Maybe there is something at play here. But it’s not real to me, even though I wanted it to be. You wouldn’t believe how I tried, how I told myself I loved you… and in a way, I do. But it’s not enough. My life isn’t a children’s story. I am not that seven-year-old girl anymore. And I’m sorry that I didn’t realise it before.”
Alfred had listened in silence, not much changing in his expression. Now he looked her in the eyes, and there was simultaneous warmth and sadness in his gaze.
“I really did want you for my princess”, he said.
The something that had been breaking inside her for a long time found a new path to continue its shattering. She didn’t know the exact moment it had started, but she supposed that meeting Tristan had only sped it up, not created it.
Saegen got up, not sure what she should say, or whether she even wanted to say anything. She raised her fingers to Alfred’s hand that had become so familiar to her, even if she hadn’t deserved it. She stroked the back of his hand briefly, foolishly hoping it would convey the appropriate thanks and apologies.
Alfred stood up as she did.
“I’ll… make sure he pays”, he said.
Saegen looked at him, then cast her eyes down. She felt nothing.
Then she left.
"Your jokes are scarier than your earrings." -Twit

"14. Pretend like you would want him even if he wasn't a prince. (Yeah, right.)" -How to Make a Guy Like You - Disney Princess Style

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Thu Jul 05, 2018 12:37 pm
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beckiw says...



I LOVE THIS. I love it, I love it, I love it. And you!! <3
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Thu Jul 05, 2018 12:45 pm
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StellaThomas says...



aaaaaah omg I got such a Darcy and Wickham vibe off of this? And poor Alfred I don't think he expected that conversation to go that direction. This is heartbreaking even though I know it's right </3
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Mon Jul 09, 2018 8:37 pm
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Demeter says...



Thank you so much lovelies <3 Here goes second week!

1055 words. Start of Chapter 32.

Spoiler! :
Chapter 32

Myriad was in a flurry of ribbons and little cakes that seemed to have had no end since the engagement party. Really, where did they keep coming from? It was like there was a constant cloud of colourful strips of silk and pink and white confectioneries fluttering around her head, even if all she did was sit on the settee and look tragically beautiful.

Adelbraith Hall was like a magic place where things just appeared when you tilted your head the right way. Myriad had started to find it quite dangerous, having a house with two floors and dozens of rooms all to yourself and some members of staff. Her old house would nearly fit in her bedchamber alone.

She was getting a lot of exercise, just going from bed to the vanity, not to mention the dining hall or the library.

She was surrounded by smiling faces who would grant her whatever she thought to wish for at any given moment.

She was being dressed in the most luxurious materials, fed the most exquisite dishes, taught the most interesting things about this unreal life she was about to start.

She missed her mother.

Ellen hadn’t, naturally, been included in the move following the engagement. Of course, Myriad didn’t expect it – it was hardly likely that a young woman of her newly-acquired standing would need her mother in her grown-up home – but it was something to get used to. Secretly, Myriad couldn’t really understand why her mother couldn’t have been given one of the numerous spare rooms in the house. She was only a small little lady, after all.

But Myriad just had to accept that there were reasons behind this other than the amount of physical space her mother took.

And wasn’t it true that it was good to get your bearings on your own for a bit before you would move into your married home? If, indeed, living with a dozen servants could be called getting bearings on your own?

Another thing Myriad missed was the bakery. Naturally, a future Queen of Cordovan (sorry, Sumner’s mother) could not be seen anywhere near cupcakes that she had baked herself, but it had been a way for her to stand on her own two feet. Which was another thing that she wouldn’t be allowed to do, ever again.

Certainly, Myriad loved the glamour of her life to be, and she loved Sumner even more. It had just been a little difficult to come to terms with the consequences.

She wouldn’t admit to Sumner that more than once the kitchen maids had shooed her away from asking whether there was anything she could do to help. He would laugh until he died, probably. She couldn’t have that, at least not before the wedding.

And even after, it would be rather unfortunate.

A gentle knock on her chamber door made her get up from her comfortable lounging position. “Come in!” she twittered with surprising brightness considering she hadn’t talked yet that day.

Even before the door opened, Myriad knew who was behind it. No one else knocked with such kindness and demureness. Those knuckles must have been enchanted.

What an odd thing to think, Myriad thought.

A small brown-haired girl in a sensible dress entered and curtseyed about one third of the way before stopping herself. Myriad smiled approvingly. The girl smiled back, wider than a servant probably should have.

“It’s time to get you dressed for the lessons, Miss--”

Myriad stopped her with a raised hand. “Didn’t I tell you a hundred times already, Tilda?”

Tilda pulled her mouth into a defensive curl. “I know! But you have no idea how that matron of a housekeeper looks at me already! If she heard me calling you ‘Myriad’, I’d fly out of this house faster than a hunting spear!”

This girl, on the other hand, was one of the best consequences of her new life.

“Well, she’s not going to hear, is she? Everywhere else, I can be Miss Whatever for the kind old vultures. But please have the decency to call me by my real name in my own room.” Myriad adopted an authoritative facial expression – which she had only recently learnt she had, although maybe it was just because for the first time in her life she was around people who were paid to listen to what she said – but she knew Tilda would see through it.

“Alright. But please, nudge me or wink at me or something if you see anyone coming when I’m about to do it.” Tilda’s eyes were pleading in their innocence, which meant they were about twice as large as normal people’s eyes, even when wide open. That, combined with her willowy build and matching behaviour, made her seem fourteen years old when Myriad knew for a fact Tilda was nearing thirty.

“I’ll try my best”, Myriad said, laughing.

Tilda took several paces striding across the room to Myriad’s dressing room, which was, granted, another significant benefit, and started pulling out options, all in different shades of blue. Myriad had never really seen herself for blue clothing, but apparently the royal family – in truth, Sumner’s mother – thought that blue was the most becoming colour for their son’s betrothed.

Either that, or the Queen was secretly terrified of Myriad wearing red better than her.

“Which one do you want?” Tilda held out two gowns in her hand.

“Does it matter?”

“Not yet”, Tilda said, grinning, and chose the other one. Myriad rolled her eyes but turned so that her lady-in-waiting would be able to unbutton her and then button her up again.

“Honestly, they let me marry into their family but won’t allow me to choose what to wear?”

“They just want to make sure your appearance is in unison with the rest of the family before you’re wed.” Tilda’s swift hands worked at her back while Myriad held her hair out the way.

“It would be hard not to, considering there’s nothing in that wardrobe that isn’t approved”, Myriad grumbled half-heartedly. Except for one thing which only needs the approval of one other person, and that sure isn’t Queen Esther. “And anyway, who’s going to see me at my lessons anyway?”

“Your teacher?”

“As your lady, I command you to stop giving me sensible answers”, Myriad said.
"Your jokes are scarier than your earrings." -Twit

"14. Pretend like you would want him even if he wasn't a prince. (Yeah, right.)" -How to Make a Guy Like You - Disney Princess Style

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Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:02 pm
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StellaThomas says...



This is my favourite <3 Adelbraith Hall! Wow. I feel kind of bad for Myriad that everything is so alien to her but also so happy because she's so blissful <3 Tilda seems like such a sweetheart as well! I think that the future Queen should be allowed to bake her own cupcakes. Myriad should make that a royal decree when she's Queen. Yes please. Basically this is just so great and aaaah I can't believe they're actually getting married <3 after so long <3 it's perfect.
"Stella. You were in my dream the other night. And everyone called you Princess." -Lauren2010
  





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Tue Jul 17, 2018 12:43 pm
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beckiw says...



I love that last line so much xD I really missed Myriad and her asides and the way you write her. It's so fun to read and yet you've built in all these beats about her missing home and the loss of freedom. I love that because all this fantastic, amazing stuff is happening for her, this thing she has wanted for so long has happened to her and she's in love to boot but she's still a person with concerns and anxieties and you do such a good job of making her feel like a real person.

Can't wait for this week's!! <3
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Wed Jul 18, 2018 10:02 pm
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Meshugenah says...



Eeeee! Well now I'll need to make sure I drop everything the next time I see that you've added anything to this! Granted, I don't know all the players and histories and such, but I love how you're writing them.
***Under the Responsibility of S.P.E.W.***
(Sadistic Perplexion of Everyone's Wits)

Medieval Lit! Come here to find out who Chaucer plagiarized and translated - and why and how it worked in the late 1300s.

I <3 Rydia
  





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Fri Jul 20, 2018 9:16 am
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Demeter says...



Aww, you are all super lovely <3 Thank youuu!

This week it's a bit of a non-submission because sure, I have the words, but nothing happens xD

1085 words

Spoiler! :
Myriad could feel the warm breath of Tilda’s laughter on her back. She grumbled and complained a lot, but she could only do that because Tilda didn’t feel like a servant to her. The idea of living on her own (figuratively) was almost too daunting for Myriad before she realised that her newly appointed lady-in-waiting had a twinkle in her eye and a mouth that loved to twist into a laugh.

Without Tilda, Adelbraith Hall could not have been half the home it attempted to be. Myriad hesitated to call her a friend, though – not just because Tilda was paid to wait on her, but because Myriad was expected to be comfortable with it but wasn’t, not really. If she were asked, she wouldn’t have changed a thing about her and Sumner’s arrangements – they had been fitting for the girl that she still felt like.

Myriad, not Miss Myriad Nell Gosling of Inglemere, the betrothed to His Royal Highness, Prince Sumner of Cordovan.

But now that she was Miss Myriad Nell Gosling of Inglemere, the betrothed to His Royal Highness, Prince Sumner of Cordovan, certain things had to change. No more sneaking around to a certain pond in the woods, no more casual strolls along the main street, eavesdropping for material for the Launderette. Not that there would be a point to the latter anymore, since everyone knew who the Laundress was.

Regardless, Myriad had received several proposals of cooperation as the unofficial royal reporter. Some of the editors seemed to think the fodder for scandal was even more delicious now that her identity was revealed to all, and perhaps so, but Myriad had refused each and every offer. But she savoured them in her mind as a dream-that-would-never-come-true of using them as leverage against the Queen when she was particularly unpleasant.

There was a knock on the door just as Tilda buttoned up the last button of one of the blue day dresses.

“Just a minute, Miss”, Tilda said, curtseyed and went for the door. It was amazing how quickly she managed to turn on the work behaviour.

“There’s a guest for Miss Gosling”, the housekeeper’s voice said. She sounded twice as tall and thick as she was, which was considerable, as she really was very tall and thick.

“Miss Gosling is getting ready for her class”, Tilda said. “The guest will have to wait until after the lessons, if Miss Gosling chooses to see him.”

“I will send her away, then”, the housekeeper said gruffly.

“Hang on a second now”, Myriad said. Both Tilda and the housekeeper looked at her like they hadn’t expected to see her there. She felt stupid, but they had to listen to her. “Guests here are few and far between – no, I don’t mean palace employees, Mrs Gravell – and I choose to see the guest. Who is it?”

“I believe it is your maid of honour, Miss –“

“The class is cancelled”, Myriad said, bunching up her skirts into her fists. Mrs Gravell looked horrified at the eminent creasing of the hem. “Tell Mrs Fether for me, please, will you, Tilda? And apologise.”

“I will fetch the guest for you, Miss –“

“No need”, Myriad yelled over her shoulder, already flying downstairs. “I’ll see her up here, and don’t disturb us!”

She descended the stairs with such passion that she had to congratulate herself for not tripping over her feet. And there, in the foyer, stood Saegen, alive and well, but thinner than before, cheekbones slightly pointier. Myriad realised with a start how long it had been since they had last seen each other.

For a second, they stared at each other, and at the same blink of an eye, they both burst in tears and flew into each other’s arms.

Before either of them said anything, Myriad grabbed Saegen’s wrist and pulled her into a run with her, back up the stairs and into her room. There may have been people in the corridor, but Myriad would not have known, because she saw or heard or felt nothing but her best friend’s golden locks, the catching of her breath, and her hand in hers.

Only after the door was closed behind them, Saegen let out a breath that sounded simultaneously one of relief and wonder.

“Wow”, she said, looking around the room. Her eyes rested on the chandelier longer than anywhere else.

“I know”, Myriad said sheepishly.

“I’m so proud of you”, Saegen said at the same time as Myriad said, “I’m so sorry”. Both still had tears in their eyes.

“Me?” said Myriad as Saegen said, “What for?”

Myriad scoffed, sniffed, and raised her palms up. “Please, let me go first. I know you usually do—”

“You don’t usually say ‘please’, though”, Saegen said, smile saddened by her glistening eyes.

“I’m going to let you speak very soon, I promise. But I want to say this first. I’m so, so sorry. I have barely spoken to you since the party, I’m ashamed to say I haven’t even thought of you as often as before, although I guess I didn’t really need to think of you before because we were together all the time…” Myriad could hear her words before she had had time to think of saying them, and she tried to take a slow breath to let her mind catch up.

“I have no proper excuse. Yes, it has been maddening, yes, they don’t allow me to just skip out when I want to, but that isn’t a real excuse for abandoning my best friend. And Sumner said Alfred said you had left town? And the fact that I knew nothing about it, that you didn’t feel like you could come and tell me… I don’t know what to say. Except that I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know what I could do to make it better.”

Myriad nearly felt out of breath after this. She found she had thrown herself by the settee, down at Saegen’s feet.

Saegen shook her head. “There’s nothing you should apologise for. I’m sorry for not telling you I had left. I should have. I just… I wasn’t feeling well.”

“Are you… feeling well now?” Myriad asked, almost afraid to.

“I don’t know”, Saegen said. And then her tears flowed again, pulling sharply at Myriad’s heart. Myriad retook her seat beside Saegen and wrapped her in a hug.

Don’t say anything,
Myriad had to remind herself. For once in your life, stop. She’ll tell more in a minute.
"Your jokes are scarier than your earrings." -Twit

"14. Pretend like you would want him even if he wasn't a prince. (Yeah, right.)" -How to Make a Guy Like You - Disney Princess Style

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Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:14 pm
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StellaThomas says...



*ugly cries*

What do you mean nothing happened in this segment?! This was the beautiful heartfelt reunion that I've been *waiting* for oh my goodness it was so, so lovely. Aaaaaah. My heart is so full. Myriad and Saegen together again <3 good because I was a bit suspicious that this Tilda one was replacing her >.>

And omg! The Launderette! I had almost forgotten but I'm glad I hadn't!! Amazing. This is all amazing. I love you <3
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Fri Jul 20, 2018 4:56 pm
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Meshugenah says...



What Stells said!

Because I love this. All my questions about things aside, most if not all of which I assume would be handled by, you know. Having read more than the snippets you have here :P
***Under the Responsibility of S.P.E.W.***
(Sadistic Perplexion of Everyone's Wits)

Medieval Lit! Come here to find out who Chaucer plagiarized and translated - and why and how it worked in the late 1300s.

I <3 Rydia
  








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