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Tell a joke

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Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:04 pm
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MasterGrieves says...

NURSE: Doctor, doctor! The invisible man's here to see you!
DOCTOR: Well tell him I can't see him right now.
The Nation of Ulysses Must Prevail!

If you don't like Mikko, you better friggin' die.

The power of Robert Smith compels you!

Adam + Lisa ♥

When you greet a stranger look at his shoes.
Keep your money in your shoes.

I was 567ajt

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Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:07 pm
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Searria H. says...

I don't know if this counts as a joke, but I found it funny. :) These are actual student answers.

What is the lowest frequency a human can register?
A Mouse

What is the highest frequency a human can register?
Mariah Carey

'Let's eat Grandma!' or, 'Let's eat, Grandma!' Punctuation saves lives.

Reviews? You know you want one. :)


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Mon Oct 31, 2011 3:52 am
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ShadowKnight155 says...

Did you hear about that camping movie?

I heard it was intentsss!
By nature, all language is flawed.

"Peace cannot be kept by force, it can only be achieved by understanding," - Albert Einstein

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Wed Nov 02, 2011 2:51 pm
Yushi says...

Why did piglet look in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh. :lol:

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Sat Dec 17, 2011 9:54 am
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LemonyIce says...

I've got one!

Teacher: Can you see God?
Class: No.
Teacher: Can you feel God?
Class: No.
Teacher: Then there isn't a God!

-Student raises his hand.-

Student: Sir, can you see your brain?
Teacher: No.
Student: Can you feel your brain?
Teacher: No.
Student: Oh, so you don't have a brain?
I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest.
The trees keep the tempo and they sway in time.
Quartet of crickets chime in for the chorus.
If I were to pluck on your heart strings would you strum on mine?

~Plant Life, Owl City

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Sat Dec 17, 2011 10:08 am
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murtuza says...

A man checks out of a hotel and sees Banta walking along the sidewalk.

Man - Hey buddy, could you please call me a taxi? I'm getting late for my appointment!

Banta - Sure. Sir, you are a taxi.
Last edited by murtuza on Fri Mar 02, 2012 10:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
It's not about the weight of what's spoken.
It's about being heard.

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Sat Dec 17, 2011 1:31 pm
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Lava says...

My Physics teacher back in school : demonstrates a slinky to show spring action and compressions and rarefactions. She starts playing with it like a kid, then look up and asks us : "Do you waaaaant this slinky?"

All of us : Yes ma'aaam, in hopes that she gives it to us to play with.

Her : Go buy eeet!
Pretending in words was too tentative, too vulnerable, too embarrassing to let anyone know.
- Ian McEwan in Atonement

kimi: influencing others since GOD KNOWS WHEN.


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Sun Dec 18, 2011 9:44 pm
SisterItaly says...

You want a joke? Blu team.

(*Shotdead for TF2 reference.)
"Even in the end --even in death-- I can't hate you." - Neri Hereford's last words.

"The Gods demand blood, for they... do not bleed." Jaska.

The Book.

Cheat your landlord if you can and must, but do not try to shortchange the Muse. It cannot be done. You can’t fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal.
— William S. Burroughs