Young Writers Society

I LOVE reading about dumb criminals. Actually dumb anything, but I'll try to keep this thread to dumb criminals. Anyone who wants to share dumb (or just bizarre) dumb criminal stories and read new ones (my friends are kinda sick of the old ones.) heres the place. I'll share one of my personal favorites, The World's Dumbest Bank Robbery!

Two guys decided to rob a bank. They go to a bank in a strip mall and say "Freeze! This is a bank robbery!" The old lady says "No it's not." "What do you mean it's not?" "This is a Singer Sewing Center robbery. If you were two doors down, then that would be a bank robbery." So these guys go to the bank and say "This is a bank robbery! Put all your money in the bag!" the teller says "What bag?" "Don't you have the bag?" "No. I thought you had the bag." They ask the teller for a bag. She gets one and makes a big show of stuffing the money in it, mostly small bills. The robbers go into the getaway car. The driver realizes he left his keys in the bank. He goes back in and gets them, not noticing the teller calling the police. They were arrested (duh)

More at a more convenient time.

Wow, I have a book full of these! Okay, here are a few:

From Croatia: Dog Gives Flasher His Come-Uppance

Zagreb - A drunken Croat flasher got more excitement than he bargained for when he pushed his penis through a woman's fence and her dog bit it, local newspapers said on Friday.

The visibly drunk man was walking down the street and started swearing and shouting at the woman for no reason. He then shoved his penis through her fence, unaware her dog was on the other side, police said.

The bitten man himself reported the incident to the police.

The 36-year-old was taken to hospital with light injuries but later sent home. He will be charged with "insulting the moral feelings of citizens" and "violation of public order."

Meanwhile, back in the UK: Thief runs into 20 off-duty policemen on golf course

A suspected thief found himself in a hole when he fled a crime scene and ran straight into a police golf tournament.

The 30-year-old sped across the 13th fairway to hide, but was instead confronted by 20 off-duty policemen.

They spotted the suspect dashing towards undergrowth and gave chase after a police helicopter circled overhead, at the course near Chesterfield.

A police spokeswoman said: "The officers were taking part in a golf tournament when they saw the man dashing across the course.

"He seemed to be acting suspiciously and once the force helicopter was seen overhead, four of them gave chase and detained him."

The officers detained the suspect at Tapton Golf Course in the incident last week until a police car arrived to take the man to a local police station.

Police confirmed that a man has since been charged with burglary and theft and has been remanded in custody by magistrates in Chesterfield.

Here's a robbery story I heard, I think it was true...

It was the middle of summer and some guy decided to rob a bank in an unusual fashion. He dressed in a santa suit, robbed the bank, then made his get away on a bicicle. However, he failed to change completely out of the santa suit, and the nearest policeman stopped him. The robber was still wearing his santa pants.

If you know more details about what I'm talking about, then do tell me. I forget things. Thought I'd share this, since it 'Tis the Sea-son to Get Ca-ught....

Love the stories. Okay now I really want to share something that wasn't really a crime but was quite dumb.

This French guy made a deal in 1965 with then 90 year old actress Jeanne Calment. He would give her $500 every month for the rest of her life and he would get her house when she died.

Well, 10 years passed...20...30...and Jeanne Calment was still going strong! She celebrated her 121st birthday in 1996, making her the oldest living person on Earth! The guy who made the deal died 10 months later. He paid $180,000 on a $60,000 house...a house he never got to own. Jeanne Calment died in 1997 at the ag of 122.

Okay now for some real criminals.

Two British teenagers had a brilliant crime spree going in a London parking lot. One cruised around in the getaway car while the other one broke into parked cars and stole valuable stuff. When he found the getaway car, he would hop into it and they drove away. After a few months of this, the British police decided to hold a stakeout.

While they were cruisung around in the parking lot, the kid who did the stealing had forgotten his glasses and hopped into the back seat, yelling "Hit it! Go!" The police sped off, stilfling their laughter. Any guesses on what happened to them?

And our neighbors to the north:

This college kid from Hong Kong was set for life. His parents would give him anything he wanted. Two of his classmates were jealous, so they decided to kidnap him.

They waited until he was on spring break, then they flew to Hong Kong, captured, took him back to Edmonton on a plane, and forced him to make the ransom call to his own mother. He told her that two guys had kidnapped him and they were asking for 15000 dollars. He also told her where he was, who was holding him, and that she should call the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. The kidnappers didn't catch this last info, because he was speaking in Cantonese!

They didn't understand a word, in fact, until the Mounties showed up and said "freeze!"

Well now that we have so many people here, I decided to breathe some life into this old ancient thread. Maybe a "newbie" (joined since Dec. 17) will add something funnerer to this.

Back when I was in fourth grade, everyone wore LA Gear Lights shoes, including adults. So one day, at night, a robber, who is dressed completely in black, goes to a store in my town and robs it. The police are close by though, and give chase. Unfortunately, the robber turns down a nearby trail so the cops can't chase him by car (at least not effectively). Now it's pitch black outside, but the cops have to chase this robber down. Fortunately enough, though, the robber was wearing LA Gear Lights shoes and thus it was quite easy for the cops to follow him and capture him.

This is hilarious! I saw something like this, where a guy called the police instead of his drug dealer. The caption for the link to it said "Ironically, he then called his drug dealer to confess."