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The Confessional



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Thu May 13, 2010 10:41 pm
The Confessional says...



I am jealous of all my friends because they are normal they don't know what pain is they can smile and not feel anything. I know I sound like a horrible person but its how I feel. I am almost constantly in pain or depressed. I live to make people happy and to make them smile it makes me feel good. I'm in love with someone and they don't even know i exist and they live half across the world. My father physically abused me and my mom when I was just a baby,
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Thu May 13, 2010 10:48 pm
The Confessional says...



School is horrible. My love life is horrible. My friends are great, but they can't help me too much. I can be a little bit...demonic, but only to people demonic to me first. Lately things have been getting better, I've been making more friends and losing more enemies, but more rumors are starting: That I like this boy who's horrible, that I'm going out with this boy who's worse, and even he is acting like we are. I feel like I'll never be satisfied with my life, popular or no. I'm way past the stage where I can pretend my life is great, and now that I'm looking at the kids outside the real world, I'm glad.

Another thing is that I feel like I'm way older than I am. I look at people my age, sometimes a year or two older, and think about how young they are, how naive, and how much they need to learn. I feel like I'm at least six years older than I am and shouldn't be at the stage I'm at. It's so confusing.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Fri May 14, 2010 11:24 pm
The Confessional says...



I'm so scared of whats happening.

I know we both have to pretend like this isn't happening but, still, you stopped doing it and for what reason I don't know. We're both distant ever since you asked me those questions and it kills me that I never know what you're thinking...
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Sat May 15, 2010 1:32 am
The Confessional says...



I think I have some problems mentally and emotionally. I over analyze everyone and everything, including myself. I sometimes think people (including friends) are secretly conspiring against me, but I've learned to try and shut that out (though it still shows up every once in a while). The fact that I do drugs from time to time (for fun and for their creative and mind enhancing/expanding qualities) probably has an affect on all of this too. I am sometimes frightened by my own beliefs when it comes to things like reality, the universe, life, etc. I don't believe in heaven or hell or an afterlife in general, and although this used to scare me I've come to accept the idea of it, especially considering that, since I was a kid, the idea of living FOREVER without end, for all eternity, was just as frightening (in some ways more so) as a finite existence. Instead what I find frightening is how strange and alien life in of itself can be. This has to do with my tendency to look overly deep and philosophically at things. I sometimes feel as though I'm the only one who sees the world the way I do, and that's scary, but I don't know if I really believe it. I can't help but feel like the vast majority of people in the world simply sleep-walk through life, barely even pondering just how bizarre our existence is. Before we are born, there's an eternity of us not existing, and barely anyone seems to ever stop and think about that.

Overrall I often have a hard time "coming-down-to-earth", IE trying to live a regular day-by-day sort of life like other people seem to. I also don't if everyone is actually kind of like me in this way and they just keep it down inside themselves, or if I'm strange and it is a personality disorder. It's almost a taboo to really talk about, if you want to go deep into. Most people don't want to, especially when they are religious. Even though I don't like to admit it, I know that I'm very unsupportive of and sometimes disgusted by religion, and to an extent certain types of religious people. I hate how they essentially brain wash their children when they're young with all the dogma and doctrine of their faith, ensuring there are more people like themselves who lack the ability to step outside the box and see the world from an objective point of view. I hate how they say I cannot be moral or be a good person unless I accept their beliefs, and I'm going to hell if I don't. They do this while simultaneously going around and telling all of my friends not to hang out with me or be my friend because I was a bad a influence. Deep down inside, I honestly think that many (not all) religious people do not truly believe in what they say they do, and in reality they're just afraid to admit the POSSIBILITY that they may be wrong and that the universe is not a place especially designed for humans, and that perhaps there may be no benevolent deity watching over them and granting them little favors every once in a while, not to mention the fear of death in general.
Last edited by The Confessional on Sat May 15, 2010 1:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Sat May 15, 2010 1:52 am
The Confessional says...



Personally, I think this is a great idea.

You narrowed your eyes when I began talking to you directly today. It made me happy. You were the first boy I ever thought I was in love with and I know you liked me at some point, but I mean nothing to you now, and that's perfectly fine by me. I'm just the paranoid girl who was obssessed with you and you're just the arrogant boy who told my mental problems to the world. I used to cry over you but I'm proud to say that that's been a good year since. I've made new friends and had new crushes and the only thing I have against you is your inability to keep what was going on in my head (which I told you most of) in your own head. You've had a lot of girlfriends, at least from what I've heard, but I'm happy for you. See? I must not be the horrible person you probably make me out to be if I can be happy for you about that.

I don't want to be diagnosed with something else. Two to three are bad enough. I don't want to be on medication all my life and never stray from once-a-week therapy sessions. I want to be free. It's been so long since I've been happy, content, even. It's always an attack or something I can't handle or a hard therapy session or another trip to Guidance. It never ends. I almost wish I'd never been diagnosed in the first place.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Mon May 17, 2010 3:53 am
The Confessional says...



.
Last edited by The Confessional on Sat Dec 04, 2010 5:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Fri May 21, 2010 6:09 am
The Confessional says...



I wanted to tell my sister that I will take Journalism as my college course... but I'm scared because of the fact that she believes I'm not good at English grammar.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Sat May 22, 2010 3:04 pm
The Confessional says...



I'm so self-critical that I couldn't type my confessions into this box in case they weren't written perfectly, and with full understanding and perspective of what I had actually written.

It took me fifteen minutes to decide how to write that. I edited it more times that I've edited my novel. I'm about to hit the Submit button just so I don't stare at this page all day.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Tue May 25, 2010 10:06 am
Day says...



My life is perfect, or so it would seem. Everything is going good for me I have amazing friends, all A's in school and parents who care so much about me.

My first fear is that I will never get married or find a girl who will like me.

My second fear is that if I do find the perfect girl and get married I will be to self centered.

I have no problems with showing who I am, so I just decided to post on my account in hoping that some of you will try to let us accept you for who you are.
"If the king doesn't lead, how can he expect his subordinates to follow?"
  





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Tue May 25, 2010 2:00 pm
The Confessional says...



There's this cute guy in school, and he doesn't appear to notice me every time I look at him. I love him, but I know I don't have the chance.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Tue May 25, 2010 3:07 pm
The Confessional says...



I miss you. It's stupid and ridiculus and I really wish I didn't because you're not a good person and not someone that needs to be in my life. For this exact reason, I'm glad you glare at me now.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Wed May 26, 2010 3:27 pm
The Confessional says...



It feels like every time I manage to escape from your grasp, even for a little while, I somehow manage to keep getting sucked back in. It's annoying and I'm sure it's mainly my fault. I hate that my friends sit at the table right next to yours in the morning and that I used that to my advantage and that your brother noticed.

The person I have to go see doesn't know anything about you and it's a relief. I can concentrate on everything else that's going wrong in my life and not have her bring you up.

Have I mentioned I hate you?
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Thu May 27, 2010 1:21 am
The Confessional says...



You told me what you were, but you told me last because you thought we wouldn't be friends anymore.
Then the friend who you thought would be okay with it is the most uncomfortable. Honestly, I don't care about it, but I really thought that I would. Nothing has changed really, but now you make these comments and you should really stop because they creep me out. But whatever you feel then you can say it. Anyway, I'm disappointed with them for telling on you.
They said they were uncomfortable with you being around them for a week. But you didn't do the things they said. At least, that's what you told me. Alright, that's enough.

My secrets have been spilled to The Confessional.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Sun May 30, 2010 12:25 am
The Confessional says...



I hate that you cut me out of your life like this. You can't possibly even understand how much it hurts me to not have you as my best friend anymore. You were my best friend Then, what. I tell you I like you, I freak out a little bit because I know you like me but won't do anything about it. I get over it. You're fine for a while, then you're gone.

Now you're dating her. I'm completely fine, I think she's a nice girl. I'm happy for you. But you are still gone to me. We used to talk all the time about everything. We were so alike. Such good friends. It was so completely perfect that we met and became such good friends too. It was so unlikely we would have become friends but we did.

And now you're gone. You didn't even come to see me when you promised. Do you know I think you hate me? Do you know I think our entire friendship was false? Do you know how much it hurts to not have you in my life?

Probably not. And I hate that.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Sun May 30, 2010 12:43 am
Jas says...



Just like Daydreams, I think I'll post in this as myself, even though I haven't done that before on this.

I'm terrified that no one will end up loving me. I'm afraid that I'll end up in an agreement marriage, when two people just end up marrying just because their growing old and started to go through menopause, not because they're in love. Like my parents. I'm scared that I'll die before I get to experience anything.
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~
  








I'm also not sure why but even though I normally wear cool tones I have a feeling red would have been my color in the 1860s.
— Elinor