Young Writers Society

I miss you. I know I shouldn't but I do.

I'm scared of being laughed at more than I'm scared of failing.

You're the most helpful person I know, but my admiration of you makes me feel like every constructive comment is a fatal flaw in me and merits shame. I admire you so much.

I'm sorry just isn't good enough sometimes.

I shouldn't've fallen in love with you, since you're so far away.
You shouldn't love me as you do.
I shouldn't love you as I do.
But I'm glad we do.

I have very vivid dreams about every person I have ever liked. Everytime I wake up I'm sweating and gasping for breath. It scares me to death.

I'm in love with my best friend and he just figured it out, right after he told me how he felt about one of my class mates. Passion, he said. He doesn't want to hurt me, so he won't do anything, but I want him. Badly.
And above all that, I prefer for him to be happy. I worry much more about him that to myself. I can get broken again. I don't mind. As long as he's happy, healthy and save, I'm okay too.

I admit that sometimes, I sit here and think of everything you have ever done to me, and dream of things you could still do. I search for a reason, for some hurt that would allow me to break from your grasp. Why, I do not know. I love you, and that feeling is true, but sometimes pain clogs my senses. Past hurts ever linger on the tip of my tongue, waiting to be told. But who will listen? Not you, of course. You cannot speak, you only feel remorse. You only apologize, behind that blanket of false guilt. You don't understand. You cheated on me, you took my heart and threw it into the ocean, and now you expect that change will come to the both of us. Pain does not change. Pain lingers.

I have someone here who cares for me. He loves me and a part of me loves him back.

And then there's you, idiotic you, who had to tell me that you liked me when you already had a girlfriend. You jerk. Oh wait, sorry, wrong, you said you used to like me, I answered that I used to like you too. We're friends now aren't we? My heart has settled for him, the one that loves me, but maybe, just maybe I'm meant for you.

Is this a vain wish?

But, if I had a choice, and if the heavens above shall grant me my wish. I wish that instead, it shall be you. Faraway, faraway you. Across the world, you. You're the one I want to be with.

There's the vain wish.

I'm afraid I don't have a heart. That I go along and play at emotion, pretend to have them, to feel as others do.

I'm afraid I'm not normal.

I'm afraid there's nothing more to life than what we see and do and conversely, I'm afraid that there is and I won't see it, reach it, taste it, understand or know it.

I'm afraid of being caught out.

I'm afraid of being afraid of so many unspoken things!

I'm afraid that at the end of the day we all take ourselves too seriously, wind ourselves too tight and that we won't realise this in time, won't be able to just sit back and laugh, to let go.

I'm afraid of change.

I resent that you stopped inviting me out with your friends. Mine aren't here and sitting in alone on a Saturday night is lonely, knowing that this is not the way student life is supposed to be, and now it's coming to an end, realising it's too late to change it. I do resent that a little, and just would like to know why you stopped inviting me out with you, knowing full well I had nobody else.

As much as all of that was hard for me, as much as I cried, yelled, and felt on top of the world because of you, I took something from the roller-coaster ride. What? I can do this on my own. I don't need you or anyone else to reassure me that I'm not crazy or tell me to be strong or listen to me cry when I'm so low that I think about suicide. No guy, at least. My best friends are always there instead, willing to lend a hand and not break my heart. Another thing I learned? Even if I miss you so bad it hurts some days, there's going to be days where you're just a blimp on my radar.

It's okay to move on. There's a person that makes me happy. Not scared or like I want to cry, but happy. He doesn't make me feel like I'm stupid. Maybe he'll never measure up to you in my mind but my view of you is still not completly right; there's still pieces missing. He probably doesn't feel the same way about me but that's fine. I'm not making the same stupid mistake I made with you.

Wow, this thing hasn't been used in a long time.

I have a small crush on a guy that's about five years older than me.

I still miss you sometimes. I still think of things could have been different if I hadn't screwed it all up. At the same time, seeing you brings a fear to me. Why, I'm not sure. My blog doesn't feel like it's completly mine. I feel like I still have to be watchful of what I type, although not as much as before.

My fear still takes a hold of me on occasion. No one understands. They still ask "Why?" and I want to scream.

For the first time in weeks, standing by the edge made me feel a little dizzy.

I didn't really do a good job hiding my identity. Most of you older members will know exactly who I am. I just had to get that off my chest.

-The Confessional

I'm paranoid about my friends being mad at me.

First time I use this.

So, I ...don't want to change school. I don't want to lose my friends, we may not the best friends but I like them and care for them. BUt my crush, my eternal crush is in the other school.
I'm confused but I know I should not leave my friends.

One day soon, we're going to be forced to figure out what we are, and by we I do mean 'we'. And while that's both exciting and terrifying, the main thing I'm afraid of is that at some point before we get there, you'll realise that I'm not really worth the trouble after all.

Problem is, I don't want to keep that fact from you [I don't want to keep *anything* from you], but I can't bear the thought of you knowing. Gah.

I confess that i fear for my own life to fear what may be of what happen to me at the future. I feel that there is something within me that tells that i will do something...that i alwasy wonder