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The Confessional



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Tue Oct 20, 2009 12:39 pm
The Confessional says...



I'm scared I'll never get married, because I'll never find anyone to love me because they'll think I'm weird and won't want to get to know me.

I'm annoyed at my best friend for ruining my life.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Tue Oct 20, 2009 3:56 pm
The Confessional says...



I cheat on him, not because I don’t love him. In fact, it’s the opposite. I’m only doing it to protect him. I can’t stand being with anyone but him. He’s the most beautiful man in the world and he’s all that I could ever ask for. Sometimes, I lay in bed for hours just trying to remember the smell of him and nothing else. Nothing matters more to me than his happiness.

Worse yet, he always seems to think that because he's different, comes with baggage, that I would want to leave him. But I'm stronger then he thinks. I won't run away.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:03 pm
The Confessional says...



I'm afraid of failure. Every C test, every wrong answer, feels like a slap in the face. And if I can't measure up to my own standards, how am I ever going to measure up to someone else's?
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Thu Oct 22, 2009 1:13 am
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The Confessional says...



First, I got a crush on my best friend's ex-boyfriend who she still deeply cared about and I tried to ignore it but I couldn't. Then we were secretly dating and then I slept with him. I hate myself for it because I know that if she ever found out, she'd hate me for life and I can't let that happen. He was her first and her first love. I don't know how I could do something like that to her.

A close friend of mine told me I was fake. I don't believe it and I don't care. We just won't be friends. Some people said I should talk to her but I won't. In truth, I've been waiting to end this friendship for some time now. I'm glad she took the first step and I will not take a step in the wrong direction by speaking to her or apologizing.

I've been writing my best guy friend's English papers since maybe freshman year. I don't really want to but I do because he does my ICP work. The downside is that he fails his tests and as do I because I don't understand a damn thing the teacher is talking about. ICP was supposed to be science, right? Not math!
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Wed Oct 28, 2009 7:31 am
The Confessional says...



I don't think that I have ever quite disliked someone how I dislike you. You're not good or sweet or anything that you claim to be on the outside. I know what happens when you decide to let your claws loose on the world, and I know that I am not the only one.

Perhaps one day you will look inside yourself and realize that you are not a good person, but I don't see that day in the near future. In the mean time, I will simply say, that I have no respect for you and all that you stand for.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Sat Jan 02, 2010 5:57 am
The Confessional says...



You are the only one who keeps me from screwing up. You’re the first boy that I’ve ever seriously liked, scratch that, loved, who I haven’t jumped into bed with on the first date. You take me for who I am, without the sex. It’s the first time I’ve felt loved by someone and I barely know you.
But even knowing you, little by little, and getting to know you piece by piece, day by day, has been the best thrill of my life. I really am certain that you and I belong together and I’m not going to forget you some day for the circus performer or the brooding artist. I love you for you. I love that you play RPG’s and obsess over DBZ. I love that we can make fart jokes for hours on the phone. I love your taste in music and the way you make me sentimental.
And most importantly, I love that you love me back. I just wish I could tell you all of that and more.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Sat Jan 02, 2010 8:08 am
The Confessional says...



I've always secretly in some sort of way loved you, you know? Even though I keep a straight face and the lie that I've never felt anything toward you is so believable, I've always liked you. If it weren't for my pride, I'd tell you. If it weren't for the fact that I'd lose to you, I'd tell you. If it weren't for the fact that I hate your stupid, twisted, satisfied, sickeningly sweet smile, then sure as heck, I'd get it off my chest and tell you. I mean, you weren't afraid to say it, so it's not like I gave in first, right?

Sometimes I imagine the two of us together. Is that weird because I don't really know you? Because I only know your face and the surface of your personality? Sometimes, I can't help but be attracted.

Right now, I fear the future, and the potential failure, depression, and disaster it may hold. I wish I had a safety net, but until then, I'll have to work with my eyes open and ears alert.

I want to know if you're real, if everything you've said is true.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Sat Jan 02, 2010 5:24 pm
The Confessional says...



I'm so scared that what she said about you is true... what if it is what do I say to you then? Part of me wants to but another part of me doesn't, and I'm not sure whether not I'd be happy if you were or not...

(By the way this idea is awesome!)
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Wed May 12, 2010 12:26 am
The Confessional says...



I was so happy when I only recognized you closer up, not far away, as I usually can, even without my glasses.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Wed May 12, 2010 1:30 am
The Confessional says...



I pretend to be fearless. I pretend that everythings okay. I pretend that I'm not going to wake up and feel like dying because I'm me.

I hate who I am. I hate who I've become. Every little word I've said to them, hurts me more because I know they don't care. It sucks.

It's so vain and shallow but I want to be them. Beautiful, popular, smart, cool. Always a step ahead. I hate my life. I hate that every crush I've ever had never feels the same way and would balk in disgust if they knew. I hate thinking that this one might be different, then he turns out the same.

Sometimes I feel like cutting but I'm so scared. Scared that my instinct, my regret, my anger might force the knife or the blade a little too far. So I don't try. I bruise myself with the hammers instead.

Yeah I've got my school friends but what are they, just shells, like me. Even with my true friends, I'm still the loser, the one who has forgotten the punchline. I feel like a failure. The chubby body grows everyday. The revolting face no makeup could ever fix.

What I'm most afraid of is being left alone as a failure. As a nobody. That everyone who cares will one by one give up and I'll be alone. That's my biggest fear.

I pretend everythings okay..when it's obviously not. Too bad no one's here to help...



P.S. This was a great idea :)
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Thu May 13, 2010 12:38 am
The Confessional says...



Why should I care what everybody thinks? Even though you're taken it still feels like you're mine.

Yesterday I was scared for you. I saw you do something...odd. I'm supposed to believe that you have that? Something I make fun of and now feel so guilty about it? You have that?

I asked if I was supposed to believe that. You told me that I should, so I will.

I trust too easily. But you're you and you've never hurt or deceived me before.

I told you that I think your best friend was hot and you said you wouldn't tell. I'm believing you.

You told me that you love me like a friend. I'm believing you.

You were shocked when I said you were one of my closest friends. But why?

I'm believing you and I love you like a brother-maybe more.

So you'll always be mine.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Thu May 13, 2010 12:55 am
The Confessional says...



I love you. I truly, truly do. Maybe it's not the way you want me too...but I still love you. I know that you love me and it scares me that you do. I'm afraid of what you'l do for me. I'm attracted to him, your best friend and he's attracted to me. I don't know how or why. I'm scared. Please don't make me choose.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Thu May 13, 2010 2:37 am
The Confessional says...



The Confessional wrote:I have very vivid dreams about every person I have ever liked. Every time I wake up I'm sweating and gasping for breath. It scares me to death. :oops:


Don't worry, I do the same thing!

-I'm too prideful for my own good.
-I'm terrified of growing old and alone.
-A family member of mine is an alcoholic, and that's a secret I've been keeping to myself for over 2 years.
-I was on the verge of anorexia and saved myself. No one even noticed, though I had dropped 15 pounds in less than a month.
-I would go to hell if it means you can go to heaven.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Thu May 13, 2010 12:28 pm
The Confessional says...



This is the dumbest concept for a topic. That's my self-absorbed confession for you. :roll:
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  





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Thu May 13, 2010 1:17 pm
The Confessional says...



Let's try this, shall we?

I can't tell you how screwed up I think I am, because for the first time ever I find words failing me. There so many things wrong I don't know where to start, but I'll confess it all anyway.

Two years ago I was also on the verge of anorexia. I lost 14 pounds in one month, all at the goading of my family. They noticed, of course, but they laughed at me instead of helping. I dragged myself out of that hell. Then, a year later, I became bulimic. The washroom was my friend, my own personalized drug. Now, I'm far from all right, far from perfect. And I think I'm beginning to fall into the clutches of my own brand of perfectionism again.

I'm a tad paranoid. I always worry about everything and I immediately panic when someone doesn't respond to me, or when I feel I might have done something to offend the person. My friends often assure me I haven't offended anyone in any way, but I can't shake off the feeling that I have. I can't forget that at any given time, they could be talking about me. And so I try to be perfect, even though I know perfection is a vain dream.

I'm terrified of failure. So terrified I won't even allow myself to think of it unless it's in general terms. Failure is unacceptable, and it is horrible. And on a related note, I'm afraid no one will ever love me because I'm...well, me. I'm afraid I'll never be good enough, never be pretty enough, never be nice enough, never be smart enough, never be successful enough. My friends always teased that I'd never get married, and I laugh it off but I'm scared. I'm scared they're right and that I truly will grow old with 100 cats and no one else to keep me company.

Finally, I'm afraid of not making new friends when I grow up.

Dear current friends, I'm jealous of you all. I'm jealous that she's the nice diligent one, that you're the one with the boyfriend, that she's the creative one. I hate myself for being jealous, too. Because why can't I be a good friend who's happy for all of you? Why can't I be confident, like you guys? Why do I have to be the mean one? The insensitive one? Am I really that bad? So I try to change for the better, but it seems like no matter what I do I'm still the worst of the lot.

At this point I'm also scared of the prospect of going to hell, but for some reason I can't form a good relationship with God. I went to a Christian school, but somehow, out of all the pastors that have been graduating from our school, they've managed to produce an agnostic - me. It's just that when I look around and see my classmates and hear them proclaiming themselves to be proud Christians, I feel sick to the stomach and I ask myself if I want to be affiliated with such hypocrites who bash their opinions into others' heads.

At this point I know I sound like a terrible person, and I probably am. I can only hope I change.


P.S.

I'm afraid someone in YWS will recognize me and will never treat me the same after this. But I needed to confess it all somewhere, and this seemed like a good place.
'It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.'
- Oscar Wilde
  








The simple truth is that authors like making people squirm. If this weren't the case, all novels would be filled completely with cute bunnies having birthday parties.
— Brandon Sanderson, Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians