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How to Avoid Sex Scenes



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Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:55 am
Snoink says...



So... let me guess. You're writing a romance and suddenly... oh no! The characters start sliding together. And then they start kissing. And then they take off their clothes...

AHHH!

Oh wait... no. We're supposed to be mature about this. Yep, yep.

Sex scenes are one of the hardest things to write. It's either too unrealistic or it's way too kinky. And face it: they're annoying. Plus, us being the little youn 'uns we are really don't want to write it.

So, why can't we avoid it?

Yes! You heard me! Avoid it. Oh, sure you can have sex in your story. But it doesn't have to be the obvious sort of sex. In fact, you don't even have to write a sex scene! Nope. Instead, write a romantic scene and try a fade out.

Don't believe me? Let's see how this looks...

Try writing a romantic scene where both parties are obviously very attracted to each other, and don't forget to make it sensual! Sex relies on touching, so you're going to want to describe teasing little aspects. Like, the girl might play with the guy's ear and the guy might be twirling the girl's hair around his finger. I don't know... you make it up! It can be as sensual as you want it, or it can be bare. Whatever.

Then slowly, they get closer. There might be dialogue that is teasing or coy or romantic... it all depends on the characters. Never force a character into anything. But this isn't forcing. This drawing the characters closer.

Then, when the reader realizes what is happening and that both parties are ready to rock and roll, fade out. Yes. You don't have to do every single grunt and moan. Because face it: our characters might want a little privacy!

Just a thought...
Last edited by Snoink on Wed Aug 30, 2006 6:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Thu Aug 24, 2006 1:32 pm
Rei says...



I agree! Sex scenes are best left to trashy romance novels, and should, for the most part, be left out of other literature, even if it does have romance in it.
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Thu Aug 24, 2006 4:20 pm
smaur says...



Yes, fade-out is an option, but there are non-kinky, realistic sex scenes out there. Well-written ones. And, yes, there are sex scenes in literary works. (Good literary works, at that.) If you hunt them down (or just stumble across them, whatever), you'll find that there are lots that are written interestingly, and often in a non-graphic manner. If you're going to write sex scenes in the first place, and if the chances are reasonably high that you will write more sex scenes later on in other stories, avoidance isn't always the best option. Running away from something is rarely a good choice. :P You might as well just try to write a sex scene, y'know? If it sucks (er, figuratively), you can always get rid of it. But you never know until you try, and chances are that you won't improve, either, until you try.

Just to clarify: I'm not questioning the fade-out method itself, just people's potential intentions for using it.
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Thu Aug 24, 2006 6:31 pm
xanthan gum says...



I think that's a great method! I also tend to describe more of the character's feelings, the inner thoughts, in those times - rather than the actual physical actions. Too kinky. If you want that, go with bondage and Vegas.
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Thu Aug 24, 2006 6:53 pm
deleted6 says...



I've read good sex scenes in Fantasy Books by Ian Irvine. He does it good decribes emotions and he doesn't mention moaning he mentions sensous or caress ect. Though he keeps it moan free.
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Thu Aug 24, 2006 7:40 pm
Snoink says...



Well... sex CAN be good in novels and stories. Heck, I've written some. BUT at the same time, if you want to avoid them, fade-outs are completely acceptable. :)

If you DO want to write a sex scene, make sure that it's important to the story. Like any scene, if it's superfluous, then you might scrap it.
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Thu Aug 24, 2006 7:52 pm
Poor Imp says...



Ah...nothing I've ever written had a sex scene as something relevant - certainly not key to the main events. If the idea is there, it's on the periphery.

Books with sex scenes - however they were done - irritated me. They seemed ridiculously impertinent - in both senses of the word.
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Fri Aug 25, 2006 6:35 pm
Harmony'sSake says...



I don't mind reading sex scenes but I prefer if they fade out because if they don't my imagination goes on double and I get terrible and disgusting thoughts. Also, for me its much easier to fade out because I know nothing about sex (yet) and my mom wouldn't be very happy since I am only 11. Fading out is sometimes the best thing to do.
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Wed Aug 30, 2006 8:10 am
Elelel says...



Hehe. I go so far in sex scene avoidance that I only write books for younger people. The main reason is to aviod aspects I haven't had any experience it (but I will add that I think that's the sort of thing I write best anyway). Hehe. I'm such a wuss.
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Wed Aug 30, 2006 2:27 pm
Galatea says...



I am sure that sex can be tastefully done, but under 18 and still a virgin does limit your life experience. Unless it is absolutely NECESSARY to the plot (and usually its not...) there is no reason to be writing sex at all! I know that on ocassion the characters take on a life of their own but remember--YOU are the author and ultimatly YOU decide what these imaginary people do or do not do.
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Sun Sep 03, 2006 9:21 pm
Elemental says...



I agree, in particular I've only read one book with a very minor sex scene, but it was a ritual in the Da Vinci code, but pretty much I avoid them, but I do agree that fading out is better than describing everything.
  





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Sun Sep 03, 2006 9:30 pm
Sureal says...



Having a sex scene could help sell your book.
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