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Young Writers Society


TFP Introduction Help Needed.



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Sat Mar 31, 2012 9:05 pm
TheSunChildren says...



Hi all, for those who have read the first chapter of my novel will probably have realised that the prologue is rather confusing. i have had some say it needs to be longer and more detaild and some the opposite, now my problem is, is that the background story to my novel is so huge i'm going to need help knowing exactly what to put in.

the size of what i'm doing is why i felt the need to make my own thread and as some of you may even have seen, i have begun writing the appendicies (which is looking to be over 20,000 words long). do people always read an appendicies before reading the book? because that has all the information i want to put in the progloue itself. i know the prologue should basically sum up what happens prior to the story and set the scene, but basically everything i have planned over 14 books (yes...14) leads up to this and i'm struggling to both add the detail and language i want, but also grab the readers attention, so i've been told that my work is good, but i fail to grab attention at the beginning.

This for The Fire Princess, it is a fantasy epic and so there is a hell of a lot going on prior to and in this story.

ok, so here's my first chapter with prologue at the beginning:

work.php?id=94222

now, ask ANY QUESTIONS you have about any of it and i can answer it and hopefully we'll be able to pinpoint what i need to include, feel free to re-word any of it and tell me what you think would grab your attention!

please i really need help, thanks
Ash
Last edited by TheSunChildren on Mon Apr 02, 2012 9:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Not many remember how life there began, in the lands amidst surrounding walls of stone and pools of deep darkness, but whilst they forget the secrets of the past, they begin to riddle the future with their growing lust for knowledge, greatness and power.
  





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Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:00 pm
Rosendorn says...



If you want feedback on the prologue itself, I'd suggest you post in the Browse area. Because Writing Tips is more for asking questions without huge chunks of writing attached.

That being said, I will answer the actual questions here, without having read the prologue, seeing as this is the forum to answer questions.

do people always read an appendicies before reading the book?


A very large NO to this. Most people don't read appendixes at all. Appendixes are what authors give their readers who are die-hard fans who want to learn every single little piece of the world for fanfiction, conventions, costumes, what have you. 90% of readers will completely and totally ignore this information and focus on what they want to read: the story.

Also, between 50% and 90% of people won't read a prologue, either.

Prologues are extra. They don't impact the main plot, and all the scene setting is done while they read. People do not need to know the past 500 years of the world, and they'd really rather focus on forward momentum. Anything critically important will show up in the plot anyway, and if you are relying on that prologue for people to understand what in the world is happening in chapter 1, you are in some pretty big trouble.

While this sort of history is required to write an epic, world building notes are glorified plot notes, and the start of an epic is still a protagonist discovering something about themselves and the world. They're learning it as we go, and because they tend to have the fate of the world in their hands, they only get the most important bits because they need to keep moving. Most important bits can take a page or two of story, but the reader should feel like they need to know something before beginning. It is not determined by what the author thinks they should know when. Everything comes from the level of reader confusion. If they aren't confused? Do not explain. If they are a bit confused? Let that be a reason to keep reading, so they can figure it out.

I read in the Lounge you aspire to become like Tolkien. If you read the books themselves, you'll notice that the worldbuilding is mostly kept out. Most of the epics we'd be familiar with put very little of their actual world building into the story, focusing more on internal consistency and the plot/characters. Tolkien has people read his appendixes because he ended up shaping fantasy as we know it.

By all means, keep your notes. They are required so you know what information to give when it becomes important.

But the bottom line is, readers pick up books because they are interested in the plot premise, or the characters. They do not, by a long shot, pick up a fiction book and go "oooh, I want to read the world's full history." There is a small percentage of people who read history books for fun, and they aren't a large enough market to supplement a worldbuilding-reliant epic being published.

My advice: strip out all pieces of worldbuilding in the novel. Everything you broke your brain trying to fit in because readers "needed to know" that information? Cut it. Every tangent around an old storyteller saying an Ancient Tale that has one critical line with the rest being information to frame that line? Goodbye.

Good worldbuilding in an actual novel comes naturally. It comes because the MC has a question, or something not of this world was introduced and needs a bit of explaining. Key term: a bit. Readers do not need to know every single little detail about things. They only need to know one thing: how it impacts the character's life. If they can't explain exactly what it is, looks like, or does (minus what the MC uses it for)? No big deal in the long run. Cause the plot moved along instead of stopping dead at another chunk of exposition about what this new thing is.

As I said before, let there be a bit of confusion. Only add in pieces of information when the confusion is so great that readers need a bit more. If there is an aspect of mystery to the story? Give even less, and piece out the information in smaller chunks. In the vehicle of a story, the plot takes the front seat. Characters take the other front seat. Things the plot and character rely on in that current scene are in the back seat. Extra worldbuilding is all the luggage in the trunk and the gas in the car: the story needs worldbuilding to exist, but it is hidden away in the mechanics of the actual forward momentum and only lets the plot and characters do things.

Really, take a step back away from the wolrbuilding. Focus on the story, and only the story. That is what readers want. Give it to them. Don't burry it in a mountain of worldbuilding "need to know"s.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





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Sat Mar 31, 2012 11:10 pm
TheSunChildren says...



Hi, thanks for your reply it has helped quite a bit! i would post this on the browse part but its already in my first chapter on there and people may find it hard to see where the prologue actually stops, i didn't actually reliase how long it was :?

i think i now know what i'm going to do and begin (call it cliche) with a battle that begins right prior to the main story and only include the main focus on the core stuff that happens and relates to the overall layout and conflict of the story, which i most of what i have done, actually i'm going to delete this entire text and just link it to my upload.

but yeah that has cleared a few things up for me thank you, i'll go away now and make what adjustments i need! :mrgreen:
Not many remember how life there began, in the lands amidst surrounding walls of stone and pools of deep darkness, but whilst they forget the secrets of the past, they begin to riddle the future with their growing lust for knowledge, greatness and power.
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 298
Reviews: 9
Mon Apr 02, 2012 10:03 pm
TheSunChildren says...



edit: never mind i got this!
Not many remember how life there began, in the lands amidst surrounding walls of stone and pools of deep darkness, but whilst they forget the secrets of the past, they begin to riddle the future with their growing lust for knowledge, greatness and power.
  








Poetry lies its way to the truth.
— John Ciardi