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Young Writers Society


How to make reviewers hate you...



Do you think this is good?

Yes.
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79%
No.
30
21%
 
Total votes : 142


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220 Reviews



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Fri Jan 25, 2008 2:20 pm
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Sleeping Valor says...



Lol! Brilliant work. Definitely long overdue. ^_^
I'm like that song stuck in your head; I come and I go, but never truly dissapear.

And apparently I also write a blog.
  





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Fri Jan 25, 2008 6:25 pm
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smorgishborg says...



Lo and behold! It still applies!

12. Write a miserably emo poem, and then make sure to tell all your reviewers that: "It has real emotion", or "I was really feeling this!" Don't forget to whine.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
- Robert Frost

It cost $7 million to build the Titanic, and $200 million to make a film about it.
The plastic ties on the end of shoelaces are called aglets
  





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Fri Jan 25, 2008 7:06 pm
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gyrfalcon says...



12. Make your hero perfect, just like you, but with superpowers and no faults.

13. Make your bad guys so cool, with black swishing capes, malicious laughs, and a total lack of motivation.


;) this is fun!
"In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function...We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful." ~C.S. Lewis
  





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Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:10 am
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chocoholic says...



That was so cool!

13. When you critique, critique like this, 'That was absolue rubbish. If you want to read brilliant writing, read my story...'
*Don't expect to see me around much in the next couple of weeks. School has started again, and it'll be a couple of weeks before I've settled in. If you've asked me for a critique, you will get it, but not for a little while. Sorry*
  





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Sat Jan 26, 2008 4:54 am
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Writersdomain says...



Fantastic, m'dear. ^_^

14. Consistently use incorrect spelling (ignoring the existence of your handy-dandy spell-checker) and don't forget to complain that critiquers consistently comment on it.
~ WD
If you desire a review from WD, post here

"All I know, all I'm saying, is that a story finds a storyteller. Not the other way around." ~Neverwas
  





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Sat Jan 26, 2008 5:07 am
gyrfalcon says...



15. Haunt the chatroom (after spamming proficiently to get your required 25 reviews), constantly begging anyone and everyone there to read your stuff.

15b. If they ask you to review something of theirs in return, say you will, and then never do.
"In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function...We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful." ~C.S. Lewis
  





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Sat Feb 02, 2008 12:01 am
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omgafilangi says...



16. If you get less then favorable reviews, simply assume that it's because no one understands you and isn't a true artist like yourself. You're probably right, no one else can possibly compare to your greatness. Be sure to remind us constantly of that fact while you're at it.

Brilliant insights, Snoink :D
Last edited by omgafilangi on Sat Feb 02, 2008 1:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
NaPoWriMo

The purpose of life is to fight maturity
-Dick Werthimer
  





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Sat Feb 02, 2008 1:27 am
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PerforatedxHearts says...



Sigh. I loved this.

I love you, Snoink.

And Grif, for the addendums. :]

God, this should be a mandated constituion for all writing forums.
"Video games don't affect kids. If Pacman had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills, and listening to repetitive electronic music." --anonymous/banner.
  





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Sat Feb 02, 2008 1:35 am
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Azila says...



This should be posted in the Welcome Forum!

17. Make sure to talk in internet-speak as much as possible.

18. Always post really long stories with no paragraph devision.

Hehe...
~Azila~
  





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Sat Feb 02, 2008 2:06 am
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JabberHut says...



19. Use a completely different font than the default

I agree we should make a Critiquer's Constitution. Oh em gee, loverly. XD

**Edit: I think rule 13 was doubled, so this would technically be number 20. :P
I make my own policies.
  





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Sat Feb 23, 2008 4:50 pm
time_fox says...



Hahaha, This is awesome I love it. ^_^ Some of those could get some of my friends so mad at me but it would be so funny ^_^
  





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Sat Feb 23, 2008 5:44 pm
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Aedomir says...



Why are you telling us how to be hated?!!!!!!!!
We are all Sociopaths: The Prologue

Sociopath: So • ci • o • path noun
1. Someone who believes their behaviour is right.
2. Human.
  





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Sun May 18, 2008 3:55 pm
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Summerless says...



20 (or 21, according to Jabberhut ^_^). Cliché is love! Forget about saying the "scintillating sun." Why not say sparkly and pretty and friendly? Or what about the moon? Lose "iridescent." Shiny is just way better. And since cliché is fabulous, why not go critique other people's work and tell them that rainbows and unicorns and smiley faces are cool too?

<3

This is hilarious! I laughed so hard when I read the first seven posted by Snoink, and I found them so funny I read all the other advice.

Great thread--I love it.
- Summerless
  





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Sun May 18, 2008 4:58 pm
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Demeter says...



22. dont ever use punctuation because its so boring and you just want to write as quickly as you can

23. If anyone hasn't reviewed your piece, lift it up by posting comments like "Hey! You should really read this! Why haven't you read it already???" after it.
"Your jokes are scarier than your earrings." -Twit

"14. Pretend like you would want him even if he wasn't a prince. (Yeah, right.)" -How to Make a Guy Like You - Disney Princess Style

Got YWS?
  





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Sun May 18, 2008 6:32 pm
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Dr. Jamie Bondage says...



This was amazing! Lol. I think it is hilarious! XD I agree, this should've been posted a LONG time ago. *checks work nervously hoping she didn't make these mistakes* XD

Jamie
  








Okay, first of all, who names their dinner? I don't want to know my dinner's name. This potato--is this potato named Steve?
— Rick Riordan, The Sword of Summer