Young Writers Society

so you want to be a writer?
by Charles Bukowski

if it doesn't come bursting out of you

in spite of everything,

don't do it.

unless it comes unasked out of your

heart and your mind and your mouth

and your gut,

don't do it.

if you have to sit for hours

staring at your computer screen

or hunched over your

typewriter

searching for words,

don't do it.

if you're doing it for money or

fame,

don't do it.

if you're doing it because you want

women in your bed,

don't do it.

if you have to sit there and

rewrite it again and again,

don't do it.

if it's hard work just thinking about doing it,

don't do it.

if you're trying to write like somebody

else,

forget about it.





if you have to wait for it to roar out of

you,

then wait patiently.

if it never does roar out of you,

do something else.



if you first have to read it to your wife

or your girlfriend or your boyfriend

or your parents or to anybody at all,

you're not ready.



don't be like so many writers,

don't be like so many thousands of

people who call themselves writers,

don't be dull and boring and

pretentious, don't be consumed with self-

love.

the libraries of the world have

yawned themselves to

sleep

over your kind.

don't add to that.

don't do it.

unless it comes out of

your soul like a rocket,

unless being still would

drive you to madness or

suicide or murder,

don't do it.

unless the sun inside you is

burning your gut,

don't do it.



when it is truly time,

and if you have been chosen,

it will do it by

itself and it will keep on doing it

until you die or it dies in you.



there is no other way.



and there never was.

Darn. There goes my plan of hooking beautiful supermodels with my literary talent.

Wow, so much bad advice in so little time.

"If you have to sit there and rewrite it again and again, don't do it."

Since when is it bad to rewrite? I don't agree with most of them, but that's possibly the worst one of all.

Yeah, this isn't very good advice.

hazel eyes wrote:"If you have to sit there and rewrite it again and again, don't do it."

Since when is it bad to rewrite? I don't agree with most of them, but that's possibly the worst one of all.

I think by that it means: Don't sit there rewriting the same thing over and over again when you haven't even finished the first draft... that was my interpretation, anyways. I dunno about you, but when I do that I never get past that bit...


Over all interesting advice... I kinda agree... I kinda don't.

I do believe that writing is a lot like wands (sorry HP reference here) you might get the "writing wand" you might get something else... but it's not truly your choice.

I find this quite cynical actually...

Sureal wrote:Wow, so much bad advice in so little time.

This. ^

Seriously, I dunno what fairyland this guy lives in, but writing takes work. It might be enjoyable, but it's still effort.

Some of the advice must have been good. Like this bit:

if you're doing it for money or

fame,

don't do it.

Seriously, I dunno what fairyland this guy lives in, but writing takes work. It might be enjoyable, but it's still effort.

Whoever made that a rule must have forgotten to clue me in.

I find this quite cynical actually...

It isn't funny or intelligent enough, methinks...

Whoever made that a rule must have forgotten to clue me in.

Eh? *blinkblink* Do you mean that writing is hard, or writing is easy? Sort of hard to tell what you mean, there.

In any case, onto my third rate riff...

Here's what Phoenix Wright has to say 'bout 'dis "poem!"

if it doesn't come bursting out of you

in spite of everything,

don't do it.

Wrong. Some of my best stuff took me days at a time. 500 words/day--often less--at some points.

unless it comes unasked out of your

heart and your mind and your mouth

and your gut,

don't do it.

Wrong. Most stuff, to make it seem realistic, require months, if not years, of research.

if you have to sit for hours

staring at your computer screen

or hunched over your

typewriter

searching for words,

don't do it.

Well, that pretty much applies to every writer in the known universe. Seriously. Show me one person who has never struggled, then I shall hit them over the head with my Crowbar of Reality and cure them of their horrible... horrible disease.

if you're doing it for money or

fame,

don't do it.

if you're doing it because you want

women in your bed,

don't do it.

True, but the only writer to ever have the latter portion as a goal, and be successful as such, was Lord Byron. Actually, I think he was the only writer to ever have *cough* "relations" as a result of his writing.

if you have to sit there and

rewrite it again and again,

don't do it.

Um... that's called, "editing." It's kinda' necessary. Just a wee bit necessary.

if it's hard work just thinking about doing it,

don't do it.

I defy you by attempting to write complicated, deep, and interweaving plots and sub-plots! HA!

if you're trying to write like somebody

else,

forget about it.

Once again, I defy you! I study Philip Pullman's style and try to emulate it. Why? Because he is successful and writes smashing good prose!

Well, this poem was written by a man whose gravestone has only the words 'Don't Try' engraved on it. Read into that what you will.

Hmmn... perhaps I'm not being perceptive enough, then?

Taking that into consideration, the poem should be valued for the sake of knowing how not to approach writing. Yet... I wouldn't be opposed to burning the thing. With fire.

Bukowski is great. He speaks the truth and people don't like that too much!

^ I'm not quite sure how to respond to that... Mind explaining yourself? How is this truth? I do believe that Theo just refuted every point the poem made (and entertained me at the same time).

I'd have to say to reread this on opposite day. You know, when "yes" is "no" and "no" is "yes." Then, and only then, would the advice here apply.

Hrmmm... *eyes poem*

~GryphonFledgling

VicternoO wrote:Bukowski is great. He speaks the truth and people don't like that too much!

I haven't read his other works, so I can't judge him entirely, but...

In this case, he is captain of the failboat.

Srsly.

Except maybe about doing this for the money... but anyone who gets into writing for the money is an idiot by definition.

Writing is an art form, much like painting -- but a master painting doesn't just burst out of you. It takes work. Much the same for writing.

-:pirate3: