z

Young Writers Society


The Pathologies of Poetry



User avatar
915 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 915
Thu Nov 16, 2006 7:24 am
Incandescence says...



Face it. We’ve all walked (clicked) away from a poem worrying that we might catch cancer if we kept reading it—so much that even our commenting runs the risk of overexposure! But, alas, you now have me to tell you what’s what: the symptoms of a bad poem, what kind of poem it is, the toxicity level (on a one to ten scale), how much exposure you can risk, and—usually—the best cure. Yes, very self-sacrificing, I know. Let’s get started.


The Metastases of the Amateur
The following are some of the usually fatal mistakes of amateur poets. Besides the following diagnoses, any kind of note explaining that “this is my first attempt at poetry,” “don’t be hard on this,” or the like is without a doubt the work of an amateur. Do not spare them. The broad-spectrum antibiotic for this pathology is decent poetry; narrow-spectrum antibiotics are withheld because they invoke prophylactic reaction—the amateur suddenly feels like their piece is worth the time and effort to revise, instead of making global reconsiderations about their stance as a poet and what it means to write and partake in the world through language.

1. The Suicide
Clinical Vignette
A new user joins the site and hastily posts a poem without taking the time to read the rules about reviewing other work, using proper spelling and grammar, and so on. Upon the page loading, you spot multiple instances of the word “I” in close proximity to each other. The poem also includes “Heaven” and/or “Hell,” “sorry for my life,” and a clunky rhyme scheme that sometimes forces it into nonsense. Also, there is a tendency to be pedantic or preachy in certain parts of the piece.

Differential Diagnosis
Narcissism: it oozes from the self-pity and self-loathing in the piece. At the same time, the pedantic nature also exhibits signs that the user has a very high sense of self-worth and importance.
Amateur: awful rhyme scheme.
Cliché: suicide poem.

Alternative Diagnosis
Suicidal: the user actually is suicidal.

Cure
Beware of poems which blatantly want your pity. Luckily for the new user, there is a cure for even this kind of disaster. It’s fairly simple, too: they need to get over themselves, start living, and start reading some decent poetry. Maybe then they could post something remotely interesting to the rest of the world. Also, do not attempt to revise whatever they have posted. No amount of revision will save what does not want to be helped.

Alternative Cure
Should the user actually be suicidal, leaving the kind of comment the first Cure suggests will most likely crush them and drive them to their untimely death. The only cure for this kind of blunder is literacy: the site is, after all, “The Young Writers Society.” It is not “Suicidal Anonymous,” nor does it show promise of becoming such.

Toxicity Level
Nine.

Recommended Time for Diagnosis
As fast as possible—the poem is practically a level four biohazard. Overexposure can cause one to feel sympathetic and cloud his or her judgment of the user’s (in)abilities to evoke emotion.

2. The All-Encompassing
Clinical Vignette
You stumble across a poem one day. It talks about themes that are literally larger-than-life: ranging from death to love to sadness and every emotion in between. Okay, maybe not every emotion, but it singles out a few and using broad-stroke clichés and imagery, it describes them in the hopes of sounding profound. In fact, upon a reread, you realize all it does is describe an emotion or emotions.

Differential Diagnosis
Narcissism: the narrator obviously feels like his or her experience beats whatever experiences a reader might bring with him to the piece. The pedantic tone pieces like this usually exhibit is also symptomatic of this pathology.
Amateur: descriptive poems are standard for beginning poets. Upon realizing they’re not going to get any pity or praise from you with suicide poetry, they turn to the next best thing: trying to woo you with their descriptive abilities. Clever, huh?
Cliché: anytime we try to write directly about something which we all experience, clichés ensue.

Cure
Always be leery when something someone posts seems or attempts to be deep or profound. Reread it multiple times before posting that it is, in fact, deep or profound, because if it’s not, you’re going to look like a moron to everyone else. If you make this fatal mistake, you are subject to my ridicule for an indefinite time-frame. As for the poem, there is nothing you or anyone can do or say that will make it anything other than what it is: a descriptive paragraph (sometimes two) with awkward linebreaks. Hell, you might even find a line here and a phrase there interesting or moving—but that doesn’t save the poem from itself. The forest must not be lost for the trees. The best suggestion at this point is for the user to read some decent poetry and look at the type of work at the YWS which garners supportive comments.

Toxicity Level
Six.

Recommended Time for Diagnosis
One could easily re-read such a piece two or three times before giving it the correct diagnosis. Toxicity is mediocre, meaning such examination is probably safe. If one is comfortable doing so, pointing out where the user might want to re-use a line here or there is okay as well, as long as you don’t dupe that poor user into thinking they have created something worth while. It takes years (literally, years) of experience to try and describe an emotion fully—and even then, nobody cares.

3. The Break-Up
Clinical Vignette
A user posts a poem with erratic meter and linebreaks. Overabundance of the words “love” (frequently associated with a rhyme involving “dove”), “heart,” “hurt,” etc. Over-the-top melodrama, references to never being able to recover, and how “I” hope “you” die are all present as well. After examination, you think: “Why do I care?”

Differential Diagnosis
Narcissism: the narrator instantly thinks he or she is a sympathetic character for anyone who reads.
Knee-Jerk: the poem reads like it was written right after a break-up. It does not exhibit the signs of a well-thought out response to the emotions the writer feels (which are not limited to: good metaphors and imagery, craftiness of presentation, and cool alliterations), which is at least evident by the erratic linebreaks.
Incongruence: poor rhyme scheme, choppy or prosaic linebreaks, and redundancy of words are all indicators of this. Instead of articulating the pain and suffering of the author, they jar the reader into a coma of indifference.

Caveat
Good poets also write break-up poems. The biggest difference in the two is that good poets’ break-up poems don’t suck.

Cure
Again, becoming less self-obsessed always helps. Amateurs tend to fall into the trap of thinking that people “care” about them—and the more foreign and distant these people are, the more they’re expected to care. One can find evidence of this in the way poets of such poems respond to constructive criticisms: usually violent outcries at how “insensitive” or “mean” you are for actually doing what you’re here for. It is important they realize the poetry they need to be showing us is not the stuff they write for therapeutic purposes. Depending on the quality of the work, it may be worthwhile to suggest certain specific edits and a way for them to rewrite the piece. Otherwise, there is nothing to be done except suggest further reading.

Toxicity Level
Three to nine.

Recommended Time for Diagnosis
Given the wide range of toxicity, it’s hard to give a determination. Allow enough time for several rereads and a comment. The higher the toxicity, the quicker you should be able to diagnose faults. If the toxicity level is at or above seven, there is nothing anyone can do. Long exposures to such works is unsafe and, in certain cases, beyond the scope of rehabilitation. Do not wallow in bad writing.


to be continued...
"If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders." -Hal Abelson
  








Poetry is my cheap means of transportation. By the end of the poem the reader should be in a different place from where he started. I would like him to be slightly disoriented at the end, like I drove him outside of town at night and dropped him off in a cornfield.
— Billy Collins