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Disguising metaphors...



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Wed Dec 03, 2014 1:08 am
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Apricity says...



I've noticed this problem in my writing, I like to use a lot of metaphors in my writing. But the problem is as a reviewer of mine said, they have the subtly of a train wreck. So, I want to ask. How exactly can I go about disguising metaphors?

Thanks~
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Sun Dec 07, 2014 12:27 am
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Prokaryote says...



Haha, well.

You don't need to hide your metaphors -- only make them appropriate to the situation, and ensure they're not tacky cliches. Understand that metaphors are attention-grabbers; that's why we use them. But naturally if you use them too much they'll become obnoxious and will probably veer towards the overwrought.

But listen, they're hard to do well. Kylan is a member on this site who was quite good at them; look up some of his poetry if you want examples of how powerfully they can shape imagery. Personally, I've always had poor judgment when it comes to metaphors -- and if they're not done right they can torpedo your style faster than you can say "You sunk my battleship" -- so I usually stick to the more forgiving similes, which my mind finds easier to handle.

An example would be helpful, so I can see how much damage you're inflicting on yourself.
  





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Sun Dec 07, 2014 12:33 am
kingofeli says...



@Prokaryote said my thoughts on it very well, but another thing is this; try to make indirect, extended metaphors. Instead of just saying "the sun was a torch in the sky", say "the sun was a torch in the sky, a force that beat down on the pavement without mercy, burning everything in its wake." That adds more description and makes it more enjoyable.
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Sun Dec 07, 2014 1:20 am
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Rosendorn says...



Basically what Pork said.

Metaphors have to be organic, which means one of three things:

1- They come from a nuance of the setting
2- They come from the specific nature of the character
3- Both

I say "nuance of the setting" because you can have generic metaphors based on setting, or you can have specific ones. When you go specific, you're taking something from the setting and naturally expanding it based on that, metaphors tend to be stronger.

The character is more understanding what type of metaphor they'll gravitate towards. For example, one of my friends uses school and religion based metaphors, another uses boxes and houses and places, while I use elements and colour. It's a subtle characterization to say that they'll use certain types of metaphors for what they love, what they hate, what they fear, what they find repulsive. By determining what they'll gravitate towards, you can give readers clues for what they feel just by how they say something.

Both end up mixing the two, taking how the character would interpret the current scene around them via their own biases. These metaphors end up being the strongest, because they end up being an extension of how characters feel about certain events and help create emotions in scenes. Game of Thrones has a fantastic metaphor string in chapter three that helps set up the utter creepiness of the forest ("its leaves dark red like a thousand blood stained hands" was part of it) that was also part of a comparison between where the PoV character grew up and where she lived. It was in part how she'd see it, and in part taken from how the scene itself was.

If you make sure to root metaphors into the current moment, then you'll "hide" them a lot better, even if you haven't used any fewer than before.
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Sun Dec 07, 2014 1:21 am
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Lumi says...



It's healthy to acknowledge that metaphors are not always statements. Oftentimes imagery and atmosphere take on meaning that could very well supplement metaphorical statements or lyricism. This happens through a concept I call Context Connectivity.

The concept is simple: in a piece about a broken friendship, any image of destruction or decay brings on the semblance of your underlying metaphor. For this reason, I say show me what you mean. Listening to blatant metaphors gets old quickly, but picking up a piece and having the author's intentions flow in naturally is much more appealing.

So let's go back to broken friendship. Suddenly a dilapidated church says to your reader that religion wedged you apart. The blooming of a fire blossom brings renewal and second chances--and the entry of a cold snap brings the end to all things considered.

So when you ask "How do I disguise my metaphors?" what you want aren't tips on how to make your statements less obscure, but rather the lesson that statements aren't always the way to go. Obscurity is bred through layers of detachment. Make your reader work for his supper. He'll thank you for it.
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Mon Dec 08, 2014 2:58 pm
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LadySpark says...



Metaphors are never a problem. Ever ever ever. I'm gonna assume you're talking about prose, but this can apply to poetry as well, I guess.

Lumi's completely correct in his statement that statements aren't always the way to go. To state that the rushing river was like all her memories rushing down the toilet of life or something, isn't subtle and it's a terrible image on top of that. Surroundings, weather, all of these are metaphors you need to to manipulate your scene to be your metaphor, and you won't need all these 'subtle as a trainwreck metaphors'.
It's hard, in the beginnging, (or at least I struggled with it), to figure out exactly what has to happen in your surroundings to set a certain mood. For instance, a cold blustery day might fill you with a sense of adventure, and a snowy day might make you feel like a child again. The sight of your old high school after years of not thinking about it could fill you with a multitude of feelings, depending on your experience in high school. Manipulate your situation to suit what you want to say. If you want to set a happy scene, it's a snowy winter evening and everyone's inside in front of a warm fire, the light glowing out the window onto the snow.
If you want to set a sad scene, it's an old house with an oddly cold September wind whistling in the eaves.

Manipulate, manipulate. While you're manipulating, you can work on making your outright metaphors more subtle. Practice practice practice, and soon you'll be able to slip them in without them being so blatantly obvious.
Practice is really the only advice I can give you, because no one can teach you how to metaphor. You just have to find it inside yourself and look for help from your reviewers to make them better.
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Tue Dec 09, 2014 11:30 pm
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Aley says...



Don't try so hard.

I mean, if you write with the intention to put in a metaphor, then you will probably end up with a really blunt one that is very obvious, but if you just write like you read, and read a lot, then I think you'll find that over time, you develop metaphors without even realizing it.

For instance, when people talk about science, like electrons and neutrons, they use metaphors such as magnets pulled together, and metaphors of the o-zone to describe what is theoretical. Why should metaphors be scary? They just are. If you try to force them, then they might be good, or they might fall way flat because you're putting too much attention into it as a writer, and your reader will feel that through the word choice, diction, and structure.

At least, that's my advice.
  








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