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Emotion Through Dialogue



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Fri May 09, 2014 1:27 pm
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TimmyJake says...



I have recently been working on emotion through dialogue, expressing what my character feels through what he says as much as he thinks... This is my take on dialogue... I am writing it out essay form a little bit.



Dialogue is one of the hardest and yet most satisfying job that a writer does while he/she types away at the keyboard or scribbles with pen—their choice. It is in these spoken words by our characters that we develop them in ways that thought and action can never do, showing their readers how they react to catastrophes around them, or how much they love someone, etc…

Delving deeper into that, you have emotions. Your reader must know how he/she says what—but how do you express it? How do you express what your character feels and what he/she emanates while they speak? Anger, love, aggression, blind hatred—the list goes on. There are many emotions to choose from!

The answer to me is inside the dialogue.

As an example, look at this short excerpt of dialogue below.
“Is he dead? He looks dead, but I can’t be sure. Sometimes people act dead and really aren’t dead. Have you checked his pulse? When are the paramedics going to arrive?”


Okay, that might be a bad example, but you get the idea. In that excerpt, you don’t see any emotions. The character is a drone, saying the lines but not feeling anything. In order to have things seem emotional at all, it is necessary to add some sort of tagline at the end to explain to the reader that yes, this person is upset.
Another example, but using a different style of dialogue.

Oh my Go—It’s blood. What happened here? W-w-w-where is the body? Is everyone else okay? W-where are the paramedics? Someone do something!


You see, putting emotion into your dialogue does help some things here. For one, I at least can tell that this person is very, very nervous. His/her hands are probably shaking. Notice the stutter? She/he is scared out of her wits, too. Then they begin to freak out, etc…

Now this doesn’t mean that from now on you are free to put taglines such as he said throughout every story for the rest of your life and no one is going to kill you for lack of emotion… but it does help you pour the emotion into the words.

After all, it should be the dialogue—the words—themselves that tell the reader how the character is saying them, and not the tagline afterwards.

What do you guys think?
Last edited by TimmyJake on Fri May 09, 2014 4:52 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Fri May 09, 2014 1:54 pm
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PiesAreSquared says...



I think if you use he/she you should stick with he/she. Not a sudden change to she.

Other than that it's pretty good!
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Fri May 09, 2014 2:35 pm
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eldEr says...



I'm actually not a huge fan of showing stuttering in dialogue unless it's totally necessary :P Well, not with single consonants. In my experience, stuttering is always a sound thing. Like:

"He t-t-t-took the grapes!" reads more nicely/is more accurate as:

He too- he too-took the grapes!" Stutterers will often repeat the word they'd said before the word they stuttered on to give their brains a second to catch up.

Also, double punctuation marks aren't something that looks good in writing. Don't use double exclamation points (!!). Something like:

"Someone help!!" should probably just be: "Someone help!" And, if you want to add an extra flare to it (unnecessary, but if you absolutely must), then: "Someone help!" is the way to go. Italics are your best friend.

The same thing goes for using a ?! or !? in a dialogue tag. It looks messy and amateur. If someone asks something excitedly:

"Where'd they go!?", then it's actually preferable to use just an exclamation point: "Where'd they go!" because it's obvious that it's a question being asked. Another option is to toss in handy-dandy italics and keep the question mark. So: "Where'd they go?"

Other than that though, great article!
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Fri May 09, 2014 4:54 pm
TimmyJake says...



Agree with you 100% on the single exclamation points, @temporarilyshane. I have fixed them... And italics? Oh, yes! If there is anything I over use, its italics. They can be used for so much, to accent things, to show appreciation, sarcasm, etc...

The part on stuttering is interesting. I have always thought of stuttering as one letter in the words... I will look into it and see what is the correct way of doing it. You seem to know what you are talking about, though. :D
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Fri May 09, 2014 11:23 pm
JohnLocke1 says...



I usually don't convey emotion in dialogue. Because, as humans, we rarely use our language to show deep emotion. It is usually internal.
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Fri May 09, 2014 11:32 pm
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Hannah says...



They can be used for so much, to accent things, to show appreciation, sarcasm, etc...


I'd say with this to be a bit careful because other people may have other ways to accent the sentence to show the emotion you're trying to get at, and your prescribed accent might be something they can't understand.

Like, someone might think "Where did you get that!?" is more bent toward anger but "Where did you get that?" is more bent toward curiosity, but another person might thing differently. So if you try to define it for the reader instead of letting them figure it out for themselves and engage with the character in their own way, it might get too rigid to be enjoyable!

Writing doesn't have to mimic real-life dialogue exactly. It can get tedious if it does. So we smooth over different dialogue situations and express the emotion more through action, reaction, the meaning of the words, instead of the form of how they are said.

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Fri May 09, 2014 11:45 pm
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JohnLocke1 says...



Maybe not mimic real life dialogue, but characters don't simply walk around saying what they feel. It can reflect what they feel, certainly. But I think that the bulk of what the characters feel is expressed through other means. @Hannah, it is so good to see you here again.
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Fri May 09, 2014 11:49 pm
Hannah says...



Yep. Think about your own speaking patterns. It's hard to just come out and say exactly how you feel, because you haven't really planned it out beforehand in your head. Characters wouldn't have done that either, and so if they speak eloquently and concisely about their emotions, that's a sign that the author, who has been planning out everything beforehand, is speaking instead of the character.

:P

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Fri May 09, 2014 11:53 pm
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JohnLocke1 says...



I tend to avoid allowing my characters to speak of their emotions. For some reason, it seems unnatural. As well, if they are going to speak of their emotions, it is always raw and artless. You are correct Hannah: no one eloquently dicusses their emotions. And if they do, they are impressive speakers.
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Sat May 10, 2014 12:33 am
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birk says...



Well, I actually don't view dialogue to be one of the hardest aspects of writing. In fact I think it's one of the easier things to write.

As long as the dialogue is in character with his or her personality, then that's mainly what I'll focus on. Of course, a lot of things also come into play whenever there is dialogue. Mood, setting, situation etc, all plays it's part.

But I'll mostly convey that outside of dialogue, just as I would with emotion.

Think of how you talk in everyday life is definately a good rule of thumb. Maybe it's an idea to try not to overthink dialogue, because as stated, we don't go around planning everything we say.

What I'll actually do when creating characters is borrowing traits from people I've met. Forming their speaking pattern is definately part of that. (Working part time at a store for the past two years has definately introduced me to a whole roster of wacky characters.) Even if I know nothing else about except for one small quirk, that could always be a neat addition. Almost like building blocks. :D

I'm also not a fan of stuttering in dialogue, it just looks ugly and pulls me out of it a bit. Itcalics are amazing though! But knowing when and where to put them into dialogue is tricky. One small word italiziced can change the overall meaning quite much. This is something I should practice, my dialogue could speak so much more.
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Sat May 10, 2014 7:44 am
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eldEr says...



Well, I actually don't view dialogue to be one of the hardest aspects of writing. In fact I think it's one of the easier things to write.


Dude, omg, I thought I was the only one. Honestly, dialogue is one of the most natural aspects of writing for me? Which is odd, I suppose, since I'm one of the most verbally awkward people I know.

Also, @JohnLocke1 . Showing your character's emotion through dialogue doesn't necessarily have to mean that they're talking about their emotion. If you know your character well, you'll have their speech pattern pegged, and the reader will be able to notice if something's wrong. Like, if your character usually uses very concise, clear wording, uses their hands minimally, and maintains eye contact, and is one day stuttering and fumbling for words, and using their hands a lot and keeps their eyes on their feet or something, you're going to know something's up. If you're really skilled in this, you'll even be able to peg certain emotions (nervousness, panic, sadness, extreme levels of joy, etc)

They don't have to actively talk about their emotions for one to use dialogue to convey their emotions ;P
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Sat May 10, 2014 8:31 am
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Laure says...



TemporarilyShane wrote:
Well, I actually don't view dialogue to be one of the hardest aspects of writing. In fact I think it's one of the easier things to write.


Dude, omg, I thought I was the only one. Honestly, dialogue is one of the most natural aspects of writing for me? Which is odd, I suppose, since I'm one of the most verbally awkward people I know.

Also, @JohnLocke1 . Showing your character's emotion through dialogue doesn't necessarily have to mean that they're talking about their emotion. If you know your character well, you'll have their speech pattern pegged, and the reader will be able to notice if something's wrong. Like, if your character usually uses very concise, clear wording, uses their hands minimally, and maintains eye contact, and is one day stuttering and fumbling for words, and using their hands a lot and keeps their eyes on their feet or something, you're going to know something's up. If you're really skilled in this, you'll even be able to peg certain emotions (nervousness, panic, sadness, extreme levels of joy, etc)

They don't have to actively talk about their emotions for one to use dialogue to convey their emotions ;P


Shane is absolutely right there, dialogue is actually one of the most effective and natural ways to portrait a character's emotions. Emotions of course can be achieved in different ways, how they talk, how the hold themselves. And dialogue, if you can manage it well can do great things. Though I will admit that writing natural dialogue is actually very hard, especially dialogue that is concise.


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Sat May 10, 2014 2:21 pm
TimmyJake says...



Hannah wrote:Like, someone might think "Where did you get that!?" is more bent toward anger but "Where did you get that?" is more bent toward curiosity, but another person might thing differently.


As to that, @Hannah, I have always found it tricky to put those italics in the right place... That doesn't mean I just leave them out, though. When you say your dialogue outloud, and the italics mess up how it sounds on the tongue or its accented weird, then I tweak it until its on the right word. Usually, that is pretty simple because as human beings, we do italic words when we talk, not just when we write.

That is just my take on it... :)
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Sat May 10, 2014 2:27 pm
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Hannah says...



Usually, that is pretty simple because as human beings, we do italic words when we talk, not just when we write.


Oh no, I totally understand we accent words when we talk. I was just saying that not everyone in the world talks like you do or accents the same words in the same way to mean the same thing, so forcing them to read them the way you've accented them could end in miscommunication. (:
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Sat May 10, 2014 2:28 pm
JohnLocke1 says...



Like, if your character usually uses very concise, clear wording, uses their hands minimally, and maintains eye contact, and is one day stuttering and fumbling for words, and using their hands a lot and keeps their eyes on their feet or something, you're going to know something's up. If you're really skilled in this, you'll even be able to peg certain emotions (nervousness, panic, sadness, extreme levels of joy, etc)

They don't have to actively talk about their emotions for one to use dialogue to convey their emotions ;P


Most of what you listed were actions the character took. I, of course, see the value and power of using emotions through dialogue. However, I still believe that the majority of emotional conveyance comes through what happens when they are not talking. When I write my characters, what they are saying usually has nothing to do with what they are feeling, unless the situation is extremely personal. It is all about what they aren't saying. How they are moving. How their eyes are positioned. If you watch humans as they speak, the emotion is latched underneath the words, not sitting on top of them. It is subtle and often goes unnoticed. However, I believe, it offers a more interesting reading experience.
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