Young Writers Society

Hey all!

So as you can see from my title I need help with phrases. What's another phrase for "Are you okay?" I don't want to use "What's wrong?" or "What's the matter?" either. This is proving to be extremely tricky but hopefully one of you lovely people has more knowledge then me

P.S. I feel like I always post silly forums so I hope someone else benefits from them besides me!

-Nicole

I love the stuff you post in the forums =D Your threads always lead to the most interesting discussions.

So. Are you okay. What's wrong. What's the matter. Umm...

Is everything alright?
Penny for your thoughts?
Did something happen?
Where did your light go?
Why the long face?
What makes someone so pretty look so sad?

For me, a lot of it depends on the character and the type of effect they want to achieve.

Something like "penny for your thoughts" is more lighthearted, even if the person looks very serious. It can be a way to drag a smile out of the character. Similar deal with "what makes someone so pretty looks so sad?"— it's flirtatious, and again is probably said to try and garner a smile. Or any reaction but "sad" (because if somebody told that to me I'd give them such a Look)

For me, I usually say "What's up?" because I'm a ridiculously casual person. I don't indicate that I notice something's wrong, letting people give their own answer so they don't go on the defensive I'm reading into their emotions too much.

Then there are people who might stammer, or might hesitate, or might say it extremely bluntly. That sort of detail is also important, because that could change the words they use. "Did something happen?" is far blunter. The rest are all kinda middle ground, and the variation depends on the person.

I think "What's up" works best! One of my characters, April, goes to the washroom & her friend, Daniel, notices that something in wrong when she comes out so I feel like he'd be casual about it.

Thanks for the help guys!

I personally never liked "What's up?" because I was never sure how to answer it. Does it mean "What's on your mind?" "What are you doing?" "What are your plans?" etc.? I usually just tell the person what is above me, or "The opposite of down".

But that doesn't mean it won't work for your story. =D

I don't really like it either because it's sort of vague but in this situation it works. The two characters are in the middle of making out & one of them, April, just leaves. I don't think the guy, Daniel, would directly ask what's wrong.

The thing to remember about phrases in writing is— they're not you saying them! If you limit yourself to only stuff you like, you've got such a small base to pull from. However, if you branch out to stuff you dislike or even hate, then you can give your characters more depth and not make them carbon copies of yourself.

That's a good point Rosey! I was thinking about it more last night & "What's up?" fits the situation perfectly even though it isn't something I would say!