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Writing a spy story in third person?



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Wed Mar 19, 2014 8:58 pm
Bookwormgal16 says...



I need help! I'm trying to write these spy stories I have tons of great ideas but whenever i try to write them out they look terrible. I've created the characters, i can write a summary for the chapters, I even have ideas for filler chapters but I can't write them out! And the worst thing is that the story has to be in a third person narrative and that makes it 11 times harder at least if it was 1st it'd be easy but with 3rd it's impossible.

The story I'm working on is about teen espionage. Four teen girls and four teen guys. The girls are Tara "the chubby, passionate, tough, and wild one", Esther "the super sweet, smart and loving one", Melody "the shy, sporty, competitive, energetic, and artistic one" and Skye "the rich, stylish, vain and sassy one" they make up a full team who go on missions around the world and through space, they were once normal girls but once they started high school they were recruited as spies and found out about villains, the world and even aliens! Yes here will be aliens in this but they find out how crazy the world is and learn things along the way even Esther.

Then there's the boys Drew "the loner, strong, secretly talented, and fearless guy" Christian "the sweet, flirtatious, sort of dumb, religious and sexy one" Sean "the shy, fearful, highly intelligent, scientific, and tall and fair one"and Tye "the short but strong, energetic, flamboyant, wanna be player guy" The boys used to be spies but secretly resigned and had there memories wiped. Blake, head of the agency, tried to find out if there was foul player but found whoever did it hid it well, very well and 2 years later after that someone sends out threats to have them captured or killed and puts the aid in the girls hands who know the guys and are even friends with them, Tara and Drew are dating also but finding out there friends are spies come as a shock to them and along the way they find out foul play was involved and deeper secrets are reveled.

Sounds good right? There's more too I have ideas for when they start to become spies and there relationships with the boys and there really good but... well it's really hard to write out because I've never really written third person. First person I'm good at but with third it sounds so weird and i use too much he said she said. So long story short can anyone help me out"? And if anyone would like to be a co-author you can be, I'll give you credit and everything, I promise. I have these good and great ideas and I want to write them out but I need help, please someone reply. I know I might sound lame for not being able to write in both narratives but if anyone can help me out it'd be really great.

Rachel
  





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Thu Mar 20, 2014 2:32 pm
Tenyo says...



Writing in third is so hard, isn't it!

When I'm struggling I just write in first and then edit it into third. After doing that for a couple of pages then I get into the flow of what third person looks like in my style and tone of writing. That way I know what I'm aiming for.

It's easier than starting a hit-or-miss strategy from scratch. There are still some things to learn about third person, like how techniques vary and the tweaks you need to make for things to fit together, but it's a start.

Alternately there is the question of why can't you stick to first person? You could change the viewpoint, or slip into third when you need something telling that your MC doesn't know. You could even tell it from long distance third person.
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Thu Mar 20, 2014 2:45 pm
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Rosendorn says...



The way to get better at writing third person is to write in third person.

I can give you some general tips, but you're going to have to put in a certain amount of plain old writing it down and editing terrible writing before it really starts to flow. This is actually a good thing! It means you know what's good writing and not. As Ira Glass put it, there is a gap between what you can produce and you know is good. Being bad honestly is good and try not to be discouraged because your skill doesn't match your taste.

Description

Third person actually has one major advantage to first because you can describe stuff the character isn't directly seeing, simply because you're not limited to what they're seeing. For example:

Had Trish seen Julie tear up, she would've huffed and told Julie to be good and hide what she was feeling. But Trish didn't see, so she was left to continue thinking everything was fine.


This is an aside from Trish's point of view, something that we simply would not have gotten in first person. If you wanted to show Julie tearing up in first, you would've had to have Trish move to see, or hear something like a sniff, but then she'd know and the whole point you're trying to make that she doesn't know is ruined.

When it comes to building emotion, you can still differentiate how two characters see something by changing how they describe it. This isn't specific to characters, but it's a start.

Pronouns

This is where things get a tad more complicated in third than first.

If you have a scene with two women in third, one being the point of view character, you'll have to use the person's name a lot more to avoid what's known as pronoun-anticeedent confusion. This is when you have no idea which "she" the pronoun is referring to. My general rule of thumb is bring the name back every time you talk about a different woman in a two woman scene. (So if I talked about Trish for awhile, I'd use "she" every time I brought her up. When I switch to talking about Julie, I'd use her name then she every time I brought her up until I was talking about Trish again).

If a scene has one man and one woman, you don't have to worry about this so much because there's only one person "he" and "she" can refer to. I'd still sprinkle in names periodically in order to remind people who they are.

Those are my two biggest tips about what to watch out for in first. Hope they help!
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





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Thu Aug 06, 2015 3:22 pm
Raincoat086 says...



Hey, Bookwormgal.

If you're still writing this spy story, I'd be very happy to help. I have a little bit of experience writing spy stories, so if you need a consultant on Intelligence matters, just let me know.

Ciao,
J.
  








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