Young Writers Society

It used to be in the kitchen drawer
next to the silver forks.
They used it for bread and for lettuce heads
and to cut up the slices of pork.

It used to be washed with the dishes,
to be rinsed shining clean with a sponge.
When dinner'd been eaten and the table'd been neatened,
under the water it'd plunge.

Then, one dark night in September,
the knife was used by clammy hands.
It sliced terrible slashes and carved horrible gashes
'til it was hidden beneath the sand.

Now it sits, wrapped in clear plastic,
labeled as crime evidence.
Its edges are bloody, its blade rusted and muddy
and it hasn't been used ever since.

Brilliant.
It's simple, neat and doesn't complicate things.
Most writers would needlessly go into details which needn't be there, which in turn makes it look like a couple of words desperately sewn together.
I really love the way you've showcased your story telling skills here, showing how you can tell a story in its entirety with a limited number of words.

Then, one dark night in September,
the knife was used by clammy hands.
It sliced terrible slashes and carved horrible gashes
'til it was hidden beneath the sand.

The best lines I'd say, not because of the hidden violent nature of the lines but because you didn't needlessly stuff it with gore and violence and presented it in a 'kid friendly' (is it?) way.

Hi there,
First off, I love your rhyming scheme- it just flows so nicely, and there weren't any parts where it sounded off or compromised, which is awesome.
Anyway, onto the poem- content wise, this was excellent. There weren't any spots that confused me or made me guess about what was going on, which I find entirely convenient when reading. Your imagery was also accurate and to the point.
The message this poem sends across gives perspective to things in everyday life, and putting the slightly twisted spin on things made this amazing.
Your poem is flawless in terms of spelling and grammar- good on you for that!
Thanks for the read and happy writing
-Briggsy

Thoroughly enjoyable.

Amazing tone work - it portrayed serious bits when it had to, but man does it sounds Seuss-ian (major compliment, in case that was unclear)! That said, the speaker's identity is not apparent, so I couldn't tell you whether it was suitable, irrational, inconceivable, anything like that. However, this lack of identity does suit the story with its detective/CSI-type narrative (Whoa. Haven't found a poem this sortable forum-wise in a while) feel.

The rhyming is indeed nice, as pointed out above - I didn't even notice all of it on my first read-through! So good job blending it in. Having good rhyme really adds to that oddly whimsical quality I mentioned above.

Liking the subtlety of the crime description, but not for "family-friendliness" reasons. The speaker would keep it the way you have it, either (depending on his/her identity) for reasons of it being too close to heart and too recent, or too common a sight in the profession. My opinion, anyhow.

Overall, neat piece, loved it, keep writing!

Hey, Creativity! ^.^

I love this poem to bits. It's a great concept and the aspect in which you've portrayed the knife, the evidence, is so well imagined and described. The narration is sublime and there's rhyme. God bless you for rhyme, Creativity. You've rhymed it wonderfully!

It sounds factual yet doesn't hinder the audience from the actual truth. We know that there's something that's happened using the knife. And the whole journey from the use of the knife as a humble pantry stationery to being a murder weapon really brings about that intrigue and ironic feel into the mind.

This is amusing and the perspective at which we see the way the evidence is being described makes it all the more interesting and captivating to read. It's unique and excellently worded. I love the rhyme scheme you've used. And the fact that you've managed to pack in so many thing about the subject and its purpose within such little text is amazing.

I wouldn't change a thing about this poem. It's perfect the way it is. This is by far my favourite poem by you and I'm certainly looking forward to reading more. Everyone above me has said only great things about this piece and I concur. Kudos to you! It's a great literary piece and is certainly quite memorable.

Keep the ink flowing. You're a great poetess. And I definitely need to read more from you.

Murtuza

Wow Great poem, honestly the ideas you put on to paper is astounding.
As I have stated before I think your imagination is what excels you from many others.

I really like this poem cause first the title struck out to me
'Evidence has a story' it made me click on it right away.

You have such a talent on writing about the most simplest things and creating something else with it, and this poem is the perfect example of your true talents.

I think this poem also shows the fun in poetry and when I mean fun, I mean the freedom poetry allows your imagination to wonder off to.

Your use of language was spot on, clear cut and no break down of the flow of the poem, which in my eyes is a real hard thing to do.

Finally i want to say a well done, Always keep writing because a talent like yours can only be a good thing for poetry.