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Wed Feb 04, 2009 11:57 pm
Writerbabe101.9 says...



Hi I'm reya this is my first story about a girl whos parents die and she moves to a new town and... you won't belive what happensand this IS copy righted!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`~~~~~~~


Last thing I remember before I moved was my parents death. I'll never forget them. The year they died there was an eclipse. This was no ordinary eclipse, a meteor shot to earth faster than a bullet and hit my parents. A beautiful rock was attached to the meteor, I chipped it off and had it made into a necklace. It was a beautiful shade of purple.

First day in a new town, Elvieville, & I was miserable. I rented an apartment that's when everything went wrong like:
1. The ceiling leaked.
2. I couldn't go to the bathroom the toilet was cracked.
3. I couldn't sleep in my room because it was in the basement and it was also flooded.
4.I turned on the microwave and it exploded! what else could go wrong??

"Ding Dong." I ran to the door, as I answered a bright blinding light flashed before my eyes & as it cleared away I saw a young man standing at a door. He was tall, a natural red head ,medium length of hair not too long not too short & it was straight. He was wearing expensive black dress shoes, black laces & black dress pants he looked like he was going to a wedding or the prom. He also had an impeccably cut over coat finished it off. He was quite dashing and not a hair out of place.

I stared into his eyes in total awe. I heard a far away voice and saw his lips moving but it wasn't till after he yelled "MISS!" that I relised he was talking to me. I shuddered "Oh Uh...w-w-what sorry I'm Camille & you are?" I held out my hand waiting for a reply. He firmly said Jones, Kale Jones" shaking my hand in return it kind of reminded me of James Bond. I again stared into his eyes but this time it was uncontrolled. Next thing I knew was that a man had jumped on Kale. I don't know what hit me but I blacked out after that.

I woke up in my bed. My gross disgusting wet bed now I was also wet and gross. It was starting to look and feel like I had rope binding and gagging me. When I got back enough strength I sat up I saw the guy who jumped Kale standing there "You've got to come with me right now." I looked carefully at him he had flaming red hair, half the body of a spider (bottom) the top half of him was Human! It was to say the least "freaky." He cut the rope from around my mouth & that's when I realized it wasn't rope it was spider web "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" I screamed at him "O.k. FIRST OF ALL I KINDA HAVE NO CHOICE I'M TIED UP AND SECOND OF ALL WHERE'S KALE!"

He asked me not to yell than whispered "O.k. I had to tie you up or you would beat the living guts out of me, Kale is a cirin. HE WAS HYPNOTIZING YOU!" I sat there mouth agape after a minute I blurted "I'm dreaming, cirins, a spider....man what's next fairies!" I don't now if it was the pool of angry steam rushing to my head but I fainted again.

This time I woke up in a sewer or at least I thought it was. A light turned on pointing at me there was no other light. I could hear voices whispering. "Tom! you brought another up worlder in the den! "
"I had to she has had contact with me and Kale" the spider-guy answered
"you let Kale at her!!! Oh Tom you've really done it. Master won't be very pleased with you!"
"I've only broke one rule!" He repelled.
"No you've broken a few for starters: You went above, you let Kale see you, you than let another human see you and now you brought that human in here!''
"Well your a human and I'm pretty sure master is too!"
"We're exceptions!" only than did I relise it was the spider boy for sure talking. I tried to get up, but rats I was still tied up, so I did the only thing I could do I yelled for help "HELP!HELP!I'M IN THE SEWERS HE...." I was cut short. A white web zipped through the air covering my mouth before I could finish my sentence. I heard Tom yell at me "Silence human all I need is master finding out..." he was than cut short by a charming voice who spoke at the end of the room "Finding out what and Vera what happened to your voice?"
"Nothing master Tom is hiding a human in here!" She ratted him out like a older sibling would a younger. The tall dark figure turned his attention to me he ripped the web from my mouth. I finally got a good view of him. This one was tall, wearing a black cape and black dress shoes, he ask me '' And who are you?" I replied "I'm Camille." He shot back at Tom "Tom why is she here?"
"Well... master, she has seen me and Kale." The 'master' turned his attention to me then my neck and mentioned "what's that around your neck"
"Oh! you mean my necklace, it was made from the meteor that killed my parents, you know the meteor during that eclipse." Like I said it was a beautiful necklace. It was purple and shaped like a star. A worry some look plastered his face, "That's why Kale came after you! Tom, Vera we have a new tenant!" A small crowd of sarcastic cheers filled the air. I yelled "what? but I can't stay here! I...I... have to pay bills and go to school and, and... But I was cut off again. The master spoke "You have no choice it's either stay here or end all of civilization as we know it!"

Every thing fell silent. The 'master' turned to leave " Oh and Tom if you ever go above again you will be severely punished.” He spoke firmly. Tom replied "Yes master." I looked at Vera and asked "I know what's special about spider-freak here... what's so special about you?"
She answered in a snarky voice "I am a master computer hacker."

A week passed and I got used to being in the sewers. life here was different than above. We still ate good food and slept nights (except Vera who was up till 4:oo a.m. and slept in till noon the next day). But this happy way of living wouldn't last forever. A month passed in it's not so normal way. It was the time of the month 'master' went above to get food, Vera was in the other end of town hacking a big show and Tom was surfing the uh 'waste waves'. I was doing nothing just lazing around playing with my necklace. I saw the man hole opening so I did what we always do, hide in the cracked wall. I was worried when I saw who climbed down... "Camille where are you" called Kale.

Fear struck my heart like a knife. He was dressed the same way he was the first time we met but his time he had a pure red bandana on his head. For some dumb reason I had to poke my head out to see if he was there of course he was and of course he saw me. He started coming toward me when he reach me he tried to hypnotize me but he just started rubbing his temples he must of got a head ache I thought to myself what was stopping him.... My necklace of course! It was tucked in my shirt last time he came after me.

But that didn't stop him he grabbed at it. Funny thing though he couldn't get it off me! It tightened around my neck. He tried untying it but the tie disappeared I was to stunned to move. He grabbed some rope from the floor and began tieing me up I began to yell "Tom, Vera, Master help h..." boy if there's two things that people like to do to me it's tie me up or cut me off when I'm talking . He took off is bandana and tied it around my mouth. Than he picked me up and took me to his house.

No one was on the side road we were on. I struggled to get away but it was no use he was to strong. He walked like a robot, like he couldn't feel me wiggling to break free. The street lights were on and as I remembered there was a few the needed new bulbs, the pavement was cracked and all house lights were off. We reach a log house and he entered. It must have been his. He brought me into the basement.

He set me on a ping pong table. he than picked up a rug I wondered what he was going to do, next a trap door popped out of no where and than he came over and picked me up. He brought me into an even lower level. He set me on a fancy dinner table and went back up stairs.

Humph! I was hoping for one of the usual bad guys you know the ones who tell you their evil plans before you escape and save the world. I didn't know but back below Master wasn't even back yet, Vera was still a block away and Tom was just finishing Uh 'waste waving'. I was kind of hoping they we're all looking for me because I didn't know what Kale was planning for me!

It felt like three hours had passed. I decided to look around instead of looking at the ceiling. The table had no chairs around it, there was a fancy chandelier it looked like it was made of ice carved by angles, I remembered where I was, ya angles with black wings and horns. The rest of the room was grey, boring, cement walls, Snore! A purple light blinked from my necklace then I heard a voice it whispered "Camille! Camille? do you think I got it?"
"Try again Vera." I knew who it was
"Master Vera I'm here how do you do that?"
" Alchemy it was very difficult were are you?"
"I'm in a log cabin above the cracked wall."
" we'll send Tom up" I heard the door open "no time got to go!" as soon as my necklace stopped blinking it went back to normal. Kale entered and he had scissors he cut the rope from around my feet and told me "walk... but I'm right behind you so don't try anything stupid." we walked up into his kitchen.

His kitchen looked normal it had a ceiling fan, a window, a stove the usual stuff you would find in a kitchen. The table only had two chairs. I looked out the window, and I saw Tom!!! He waved and dashed for the front door. Kale was standing behind me and pushed me which forced me to sit. Just as he opened his mouth to talk Tom jumped on him and webbed him down covering his eyes and mouth while binding his hands and feet. Tom took the gag out of my mouth and untied me. We headed for the sewers.

When we got in Tom took Kale down I came behind him master took Kale and put him where I was when I first was taken down there. My necklace came out of my shirt and Tom's legs gave in and he fell. Vera and I rushed to his side he got weaker I blurted "Oh! My necklace!” I tucked it in.
Vera asked "What about it?"
"It has a strange effect on meteor freaks such as myself." replied Kale. Master must of untied his mouth but his eyes were still covered. He sprung up and un-covered his eyes. I pulled out my necklace but Tom couldn't see it I looked at Kales hand, he had a knife!

Kale hypnotized Tom. Tom webbed up Vera, Master and himself! Kale looked at me and walked toward my friends and he said " The way I see it you have one of two choices: Number one tuck in that necklace and come with me or number two watch your friends die and I still come and get you!"

Master and Tom shock their heads no Vera passed out. Kale picked her up and held her close to the knife I yelled "You wouldn't dare!"
Kale gingerly said "Try me." I tucked in my necklace, turned around and put my hands behind my back. I heard Kale rejoice "good girl Camille, Vera will come along she'll prove useful." I bowed my head in defeat. He came ands tied my hands together, grabbed my arm and began to walk with Vera on his shoulder. I mentioned "What about the boys?" Kale snapped "I said I wouldn't kill them! I never said I would let them go." He took us down the same street and threw me and Vera where he threw me the first time. When He came down Vera had just started to wake up he had a lap top & wasted no time telling her to hack all the cameras in the tri-state area.

He untied her arms and hypnotized her I asked him "Why are you hacking all the cameras?" that’s when he told me his entire plan "The eclipse is coming and to start I need every one out of town so I need to find a way to that, When that happens I'll need these cameras to see were strange things start happening, than I will put one of these crystals somewhere once the strange thing happens. Once I do that I will be all powerful and rule the world!" I thought to myself classic bad guy. I asked another question: " well why do you need me then?" dumb question.... "I need your gem from your necklace" Wait it gets better! "and for me to harness such power it needs to feed off your soul!" *BA-DING* "Ha! It's finished....And I know how to get every one out of town too!" he left and Vera kept hacking the cameras and who knows what else.

A few hours passed. He came back and no one was left in town I have no clue how he did it but he did it. No one was left except master, Tom and us of course. A Strange plant popped out of the ground and sank every thing exempt the log house
I screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Tom and Master were surly killed. he told me to shove a sock in it and left again when he came back the fist crystal was in place. After only a few hours Kale had place every gem except for mine.

Vera got up & shook her head. Kale was still gone, She saw me tied up and saw the screen. She didn't hesitate she pulled out a pocket knife and untied me. "what happened!?!" her voice sounded more alarmed then questioned. "No time to explain." I said. I untied my necklace and held the rope so I looked like I was still tied up I whisper "Vera get back in the chair and hack more cameras." She sat down and got to work no questions asked. Kale walked in and grabbed me and said "It's time." I let go of the rope and punched him in the face. The necklace tied around my neck again. No matter how many times I took it off it went back on. I grabbed Kale and Vera passed out I dragged Kale to the place he was going to put me to harness such great power. We started to disappear. Tom popped out of the ground and ran towards me. That's when I died.

I needed to find a way back. One day I was at the exit of Elvieville when I saw my necklace lying on the ground I picked it up. I thought it was destroyed in the eclipse! Just as I picked it up a voice told me "Camille I know you want your life back and to do so you have to: find you way to the outer boundaries of the city. Then you'll need to find the lost temple. After that find you’re way to the center of the temple. When you get there, there will be a stone tablet and on the tablet in the corner there should be a spot missing put your gem there, and there's a catch you have to do it by the next eclipse which is tomorrow. "than the voice disappeared. I knew I would have to do this alone I couldn't put my friends lives at stake.

I started to the other end of the city. After I died I had not been passed the middle of the city it was weird, It was like every soul that died was on the other side. One more step till the other side... it was like they couldn't see me, before I passed the other side, then they all turned there attention to me then my necklace and started walking towards me. I yelled "What do you want with me!" Just as I finished the sentence a ghost girl grabbed my arm. I think they wanted my necklace. I yanked away and ran towards the end of the city. There were a lot of legends as to what is at the end of the city ... my favorite was the one that said 'at the end of the city there is no ground, except a few little platforms that you have to jump to and at the end of the platforms stood a great and mystical temple. It has been my favorite since I moved here.

I reach the end of the city "Oh my gosh!" was the first thing out of my ghostly mouth, the legends were true, at the end of the city there were no buildings no roads and no ground. I looked behind myself the other ghosts were still a great distance behind me I jumped to the first platform just made it a little less force and I would be falling. I looked under the platform yikes! It was like there was no ground at all but of course there had to be... somewhere down there in jumped to the second one, and landed dead center. I continued on there were at least ten platforms to jump to when I reach the tenth I looked back the ghosts where gone.

I looked up to the top it was a completely square platform. I pulled myself up onto it and looked up again. I was to stunned to speak. As I look at the great temple I noticed the great lion carvings on the walls and the pictures of humans without feet on them. I looked at where my feet belong but they were not there. It was just another way of showing me that I was dead. I walked towards the golden door with big brass handles. In the middle of the door there was a clock.... Oh No! it was one hour to midnight the eclipse is in only one hour! I yanked the door open and bolted in. I turned left than right and passed the middle room! I skidded, hit a wall and passed out when I awoke there was only ten minutes to the eclipse!

I dashed for the middle room before I got there I heard a deadly roar. A huge lion was standing behind me I thought to myself "Oh no! that voice never told me I had to face my worst fear!" Than The strangest thing happened the lion spoke! he warned me "If you wish to live again you had better hurry or the rooms will change hop on my back we will get there faster." I was scared and curious at the same time His voice sounded like the voice that told me how to live again. But there was no time to think I hopped on his back and closed my eyes tight. When I opened them I was standing in the middle room! Even more weird the loin was gone! I had only one minute till the eclipse!

I ran to the tablet and searched it but couldn't find the empty spot I yelled out "I was so close! Where Is that empty spot!" I looked back at the tablet. There was a empty spot! I ripped of my necklace and put it into the spot. As it when into spot the tablet started to crumble like a hard weak cookie. As it crumbled I felt myself becoming alive again I could feel my hair blowing into my nose, my hands against my sides, my feet in tight shoes! I felt the ground shaking to! I sprinted toward the exit right then left. As I exited the door the temple crumbled and a light flashed before my eyes and my necklace was gone for good..... Or at least I hoped.

When the light disappeared I looked around I was standing on the exact spot I was when I died I looked into the distance I saw Vera! I couldn't believe my eyes I screamed out "VERA!!!" She looked around then at me She looked puzzled then started walking towards me as she got closer her eyes got wider when we were a light post away she began to run when she reach me she hugged me and wouldn't let me go. She asked me "how is this possible?" and just as she finished her sentence Tom and his grandpa turned the corner. When they saw me they bolted and joined the hug. They asked me the some question just shorter they both asked "HOW?" I replied "Let's find somewhere to sit and I'll explain from the beginning" and I started telling them what happened.
I'm da guddest riter!
  





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Thu Feb 05, 2009 12:01 am
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Writerbabe101.9 says...



likeit
I'm da guddest riter!
  





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Thu Feb 05, 2009 12:02 am
Rosendorn says...



Hiya and welcome!

Er, stories really don't belong here. They belong on the lit. boards (found by clicking the Writing Tab in the header)

But, before you do, please review! YWS has a 2:1 ratio rule, which means for every work posted you should do two reviews. Preferably before you post your work.

Another rule is to not chat-speak. That means proper grammar, spelling and caps. SOme abbreviations and alliteration is okay, just don't overdo it.

So, tell us a bit more about yourself! What are your favourite books? Authors? Genres?

If you have any questions, PM me.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





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Thu Feb 05, 2009 12:04 am
WaterVyper says...



*ahem* We'd appreciate if you keep all pieces of literary work in the Literary Forums. That means that if you want to submit something, roll your mouse over the Writing icon up there, and choose Submit something. However, we like you to review two pieces of work before you post your own. It's called the 2:1 review rule, and we'd like you to keep it at all times.

The other major rule is no chatspeak. That means no improper spelling, grammar, or capitalization. You can use a few abbreviations, but try not to overdo it.

Well, that's it for the major rules. Please follow them at all times. It's common courtesy to other members. Now, could you tell us more about yourself? Who are your favorite authors? Your favorite books? What do you like to write and in which genre? Intersts in movies or music? Stuff like that. Well, feel free to PM me if you need anything. I'll be available. See you around!
There once was a cat.
He wasn’t particularly fat.
Fuzzy was his favorite mat.
And really, that was that.

Oh, but did you really think so?
Keep reading, it’s just the start of the show!
And as for how far this tale will go…
Well, even the cat doesn’t know.
  





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Thu Feb 05, 2009 12:15 am
Kaylyn says...



So, uh Welcome to YWS!
Try to keep your stories in the literary forums, you can do that my submitting something. On this forum, everyone introduces theirselves, which I know has been previously pointed out.If you need any other help, PM me.
As your pretty, so be wise,
Wolves may lurk in every guise.
  





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Thu Feb 05, 2009 12:45 am
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Night Mistress says...



Welcome to YWS.

Please keep your literay work to the Lit boards, which is the writing tab up at the top.

it's seems pretty good.

other than story. tell us about yourself.

see ya around.
"I love you," she whispered in his ear, before taking his mouth with her own.

~Elizzabeth Grey of Addicting Posion
  





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Thu Feb 05, 2009 12:47 am
Writerbabe101.9 says...



sorry mistake I meant to post in reviews I did
I'm da guddest riter!
  





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Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:45 am
Antigone Cadmus says...



While you have your own friend, you might as well introduce yourself!

What are your favorite books/authors?

Any hobbies?

This is a board where you can meet people and be eased into Young Writer's Society.

Nice to meet you, Reya!

~~~~~~Sakura~~~~~~~~
Odi et amo. quare id faciam, fortasse requiris?
nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.
-Catullus, Carmen 85
  





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Thu Feb 05, 2009 4:59 pm
Stori says...



"Chill," people. There's a reason we all like words like "ice" and "cool down."

Anyway. Miss, that was a good introduction. If you'd listen, she just told about herself
without following a form.
  





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Fri Feb 06, 2009 12:16 am
Winter's Twelfth Night says...



Hi there! Welcome to YWS! I am Winter.

I believe all of the important information has been pointed out already. I liked your story! There were some grammar mistakes but I'm sure that when you submit this on the lit. boards plenty of people will point them out to you.

Anyway, if you have any questions please PM me!
Happy writing,
-Winter
Mamillius: Merry or sad shall’t be?
Hermione: As merry as you will.
Mamillius: A sad tale’s best for winter. I have one
Of sprites and goblins.

The Winter's Tale
  








A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.
— Markus Zusak, The Book Thief