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Young Writers Society


Howdy. I have a short story that I need help with!



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Gender: Male
Points: 300
Reviews: 0
Mon Nov 17, 2008 9:53 pm
dev says...



This is my first short story. I wrote it today. I'd like honest critiques and suggestions. I made all the spelling and grammatical corrections to my best ability. But, if there's anything you find, I wouldn't mind changing it! I also registered on this site today, and I think it's great.

p.s. if you can come up with a title you will earn 10 points from me

[EDIT] p.p.s. I actually discovered that this website DOES somehow give and subtract points, and i'm not able to give you any. It was supposed to be a joke, really.


[EDIT #2] Short Story - post451733.html#451733
Last edited by dev on Mon Nov 17, 2008 11:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
  





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157 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 3015
Reviews: 157
Mon Nov 17, 2008 10:30 pm
alwaysawriter says...



Hi Dev. Welcome to YWS.

It is possible to donate points to other members. There's a tiny Donate button under your country. Just go to whoever you want to donate points to, press the button, and you can donate as many points as you have/want to donate.

Just a little note here but this is not the right place to put your story. Go up to Writing, select Read & Review, and look at the descriptions of each subforum to decide where your story will go. Go to that subforum, click on New Thread, and put your story there. Once you do that, I'll be more than glad to review it for you.

With that being said, please check out the rules and guides (http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?t=813) and please post two reviews before you post your story (the guide will better explain that rule).

What do you write? What do you do in your free time?

PM me for anything at all and sorry for the lecture. :)

-alwaysawriter
Meshugenah says to (18:12:36):
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WWJD: What Would Jabber Do?
  





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250 Reviews



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Points: 1040
Reviews: 250
Mon Nov 17, 2008 10:53 pm
Night Mistress says...



Hey,

Welcome to the family.

First of all the main rule here is to post 2 reviews before you post 1 of your work and to maintain that ration.

and for the other rules, you can look them up under the Help and Suppot Wiki at the Top on the right corner.

so, tell us about yourself. what type of book do you like? What genre do you like? etc.

Me, I like Romance and I write romance fiction.

well, see ya around. if you need something, give me a holla.
"I love you," she whispered in his ear, before taking his mouth with her own.

~Elizzabeth Grey of Addicting Posion
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 300
Reviews: 0
Mon Nov 17, 2008 11:15 pm
dev says...



Thanks, I read the rules and that. First, I put my story in the fiction spot where you showed me, but just today I got a message from an experienced user (based on his rating) that I should post my story in the welcome part, because people review there. So as told, I followed his instructions, and posted it here. I also deleted the other one.

But, now I've written 2 reviews of some stories I found, and I re-posted my story in the proper category. I hope everything works out now. It's ready for review.

Back to me, I just started writing, but i've been a long time reader. I don't really know what I like to write about considering this is my fisrt story I wrote outside of school. I usually read an array of different authors. I tend to support authors indigenous to Canada, because it's hard 'making it' here. But, here are a few of some authors I like: Chuck Palahniuk, Douglas Coupland, J.K. Rowling (classic), and Nick Hornby. That's just off the top of my head, and I don't have the best memory. Looking forward to some more posting!
  





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317 Reviews



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Points: 5120
Reviews: 317
Tue Nov 18, 2008 4:29 am
mizz-iceberg says...



Hello Dev! I'll check out your story right away.

Welcome to YWS by the way! I hope you have a great time here. PM me if you ever need anything.

-Zehra
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
--Ellen DeGeneres
  





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Gender: Female
Points: 9917
Reviews: 297
Tue Nov 18, 2008 2:35 pm
Kaylyn says...



Hello and welcome!
Please check out the Rules. Read them and you'll be doing great.
I can't wait to see what you can come up with. Good luck!
As your pretty, so be wise,
Wolves may lurk in every guise.
  





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878 Reviews

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Tue Nov 18, 2008 3:32 pm
Demeter says...



Hello, dev!

I like your username – so simple and easy to type. Haha. (Which can't be said about everyone...)

Anyways, good that the story thingy was solved. I'm sure you'll find the place worth visiting every once in a while :D Interesting to see, like Kaylyn said, what you can come up with. Once you've gotten started, you can't stop ever again! (Or then you'll just start to take these awfully long breaks, like me – I haven't written anything for a long time...)

Well, PM me if you have any questions or anything. See you around!


Demeter xxx
"Your jokes are scarier than your earrings." -Twit

"14. Pretend like you would want him even if he wasn't a prince. (Yeah, right.)" -How to Make a Guy Like You - Disney Princess Style

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