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Young Writers Society


Just me and my PSA's



Do you like this PSA? (I won't be offended, I understand my writing isn't for everyone)

No
1
33%
Yes
2
67%
 
Total votes : 3


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24 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 890
Reviews: 24
Sat Sep 06, 2008 6:02 am
andrew.j.m says...



So basically, I write a lot. Duh, why else would I be here?

I write short stories, mostly sad ones.

I'm working on a very long novel, and it's kicking my butt right now because I don't know where do go with it.

But mainly, every night, I write what I call a "PSA" (public service announcement). It's basically about a page long and it just talks about letting go of what you love, stop caring how people see you, and to stop trying to be better than everyone else.

My latest is called Love.

here it is, tell me if it's acceptable for a place such as this...



Some say love is like a roller coaster. Some say love is like being dipped in warm water after being in the cold too long, covering you, leaving no part untouched. Some say love is like heaven.

Some people are wrong.

Others say love is a one way street.

Well, that's close.

To tell you the truth, love is like those crash test courses where a car slams into a brick wall at 35 miles a hour. With all the dummies inside. All those dummies, dead.

Well, not dead.

But When their heads crash through the windshield and stay motionless on the ground, it'd be easy to make that mistake.

Love, like most disasters, starts out small. A crush, a kiss, a cuddle. And like most disasters, the death toll keeps rising after the last tremor disperses, the last drop of water washed back to sea, the last ember burned cold. People still have infections, burns, and bruises from whatever tore through their life.

After love, the death toll still rises. From crushes, to kisses, to cuddles, to enemies. Anything you love, a boy, a girl, or money, somebody else will fall in love with it too. Everybody wants everything to themselves. Everybody is everybody's enemy in the end, that is if they don't leave you or die.

Try as hard as you can, your money will still start to dwindle, your looks fade, and your friends leave.

From crushes, to kisses, to cuddles. The death toll is always rising. In the end we'll just be a bunch of dummies scattered on the ground. Dead.

Well, not dead.

But when you're there on the ground, glass raining down on you tell me how you feel. Try to brush off your shoulder. tell me it doesn't hurt. Tell me you wouldn't rather be dead.

Just try to tell me love isn't a disaster. See if you can look me in the eye and tell me it was worth it.



Tell me what you think, please.
  





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32 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 2018
Reviews: 32
Sat Sep 06, 2008 2:15 pm
Tusker93 says...



Firstly welcome - I'm quite new myself here.

And I liked your short story - it's brief and tries to convey a message. It keeps the reader interested in reading on and although people may not agree with your views it's always nice to see someone else's side of the story.

Nicely done and hope you have a great time in YWS :).

If you have any more of those PSA's I'd be happy to give my opinion - don't expect long in-depth critiques from me though I really suck at nitpicking details. I usually look at the piece as a whole.

Again, welcome and hope you have a great time!

Pm me if you need help and I'll be sure to help you in any way I can.

-Tusker-
  





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317 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 5120
Reviews: 317
Sat Sep 06, 2008 3:46 pm
mizz-iceberg says...



Welcome!

Yes your PSA are perfectly fine for YWS. It would be good idea to post them in the right forums to get better and more critiques.

Be sure to check out the rules and guides and let me know if you ever need help.


See you around!
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
--Ellen DeGeneres
  








As the notifications drift in I stop and wonder. Why do they take so long? Do they have adventures we don't know about? I bet they do. When they come I will ask myself. What amazing adventure has this straggling notification been on? How far did it travel, and why didn't it take me?
— TypoWithoutCoffee