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Points: 121
Reviews: 4
Tue Aug 15, 2017 5:37 pm
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tsps0825 says...



I'm new here and 16, but I love writing anything and everything. This is a poem I'm writing, but I need help with word choice. Can anyone give me feed back?

She looked into the mirror
and wiped all of her makeup off-
revealing her imperfections.
A wave of nauseating sadness rolled over her.
The monster
looming within growled.
The monster
is a consuming fire
that will stop at nothing.
She fell into a deeper and darker place
where only the most devilish monsters dwell.
The empty night
filled her ears
as the candle flickered
on the vanity.
There was a giant hole
where her heart should have been.
She smiled sadly.
The flames from the candle danced
wildly as she took a ragged breath.
The girl with the blue eyes wiped away
one last salty tear-
never to cry again.
  





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522 Reviews

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Points: 18486
Reviews: 522
Tue Aug 15, 2017 7:08 pm
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Lavvie says...



Hello and welcome to YWS!

If you want to get some helpful feedback on your poem, you can publish it (it costs 200 points, but you can earn more by reviewing for other people). To do this, click Publishing Center in the black bar at the top of the site. You're bound to get some reviews to help you :)

Let me know if you have any other questions. People in light green, dark green, or red are here to help!


What is to give light must endure burning. – Viktor Frankl
  





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1081 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 220
Reviews: 1081
Tue Aug 15, 2017 7:10 pm
Virgil says...



Hi there tsps0825 and welcome to YWS! First off, if you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask me or any other names in green or red.

Regarding that poem of yours I'm going to direct you to [url=https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/publishing_center.php]the Publishing Center, a place where you're able to publish your work and get reviews. This costs 200 points per literary work and the most common way to earn points is to review others' works.

Hope this helps! Don't be afraid to ask more questions and see you around!

Edit: I just saw Lavvie's reply! What she said. c:

Will Review For Food - Always taking review requests!

Discuss the last piece of media you consumed in Media Reviews!
  





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118 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 18525
Reviews: 118
Tue Aug 15, 2017 10:59 pm
PastelSlushie says...



Hello and welcome to YWS! Feel free to ask me any questions about how the site works - can't wait to see you around the site!

If you want to publish that fine poem of yours, Kays gave you a link to the Publishing Center, so I won't say much about that.

Also, just a fun little question, do you have a favorite genre of writing besides poetry?
  





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802 Reviews

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Gender: Female
Points: 18884
Reviews: 802
Mon Aug 21, 2017 3:55 am
Dracula says...



Welcome to the website, tsps0825!
I liked the imagery in your poem, especially the candle. :) I suggest you post it as a literary piece to get some reviews. Just click on 'publishing centre' at the top of the screen. If you need anything, feel free to send me a message.
I bought a cactus. A week later it died. I got depressed because I thought Damn, I am less nurturing than a desert.
-Demetri Martin
  








sometimes i don't consider myself a poet but then i remember that i literally write poetry
— chikara