Young Writers Society

Hello. I am currently trying to write a story, and I thought it would be a good idea to see what other people think and maybe get some help. Hello, Me

I can help you.

What's the story about?

Hello! If you post here and explain what your story is about and what you need help with, you should get more attention than doing so here. Members of the site, including our Resource Crew, will come along and give you advice and such.

Enjoy YWS!

Well my story is a fantasy-ish one, and well... Mainly i need help with desribing my characters. Any advice:) Like I know the details of a characteer, like for example Connor, who has brown hair, green eyes, aged 18, strong, musceled, easy to anger, but i dont know how to SHOW it very well. Any help here?

Heya Damian, Welcome to YWS *extends warm welcome*

To answer you question on how to describe something, I would say to use more precise verb and nouns, and less adjectives for anything. It will paint your picture more vividly so that the readers can get a mental image.

For example:

"Connor got mad."

"Connor was furious, his face steaming red and his long nails were digging into his palm, as he glared at me."

The second one is obviously more descriptive, although I know that I could write it more something like this:

"Connor jumped straight out the seat and gritted his teeth and clenched his hands, while pacing around the room with a sweating face that was giving me a dirty look."

Those are just all examples of Show, not tell. We have some very helpful articles written by YWSers that I would encourage you to check out:
Five Tips For Fantastic Characters
Show and Tell
Description

Those are three articles that are very helpful and I think that you will enjoy reading and learning about them. Your book description was very brief, but if you want more feedback directly on a chapter, then I would suggest that you post the first chapter, and see how people respond to it.

Sit down,buckle up, and enjoy the ride!

Welcome to YWS!

Welcome to YWS! Hope you like it here .

Hey there! Welcome to YWS!

Don't listen to @ThereseCricket. @FireBird99 might be crazy, but I'm not.

Welcome to the site, mate.

*whispers* Don't listen to @ThereseCricket and @PickledChrissy, they both are not crazy.

Oh, no I am crazy all the way. Therese is right xD

@donizback @PickledChrissy @ThereseCricket

Maybe we should argue about who's crazy and who's not somewhere else besides the welcome mat.

@ThereseCricket @donizback @FireBird99