Tales from the Forest

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[pre]The River Teyber meandered through the Gulvorian Forest like a giant serpent through untamed marshland. At the forest’s edge, water cascaded down eroded bedrock and tumbled into a shallow pool below. High walls of rock encompassed the pool at either side, their hard surfaces reverberating sounds of falling water. This little haven was home to many varieties of wildlife, all of which found comfort and safety in the tranquil water and steadfast rock. Man was rarely seen here. Those who sought to fish the river did so downstream, and the villagers who came to collect water did not travel as far south as this place. A quiet refuge was thus maintained for the few who did journey here.

They were glad to hear the babbling waters. The day had been uncompromisingly hot, and now that they had arrived, all three headed straight for the welcoming oasis before them. Shoes were kicked off and shirts quickly removed and left hanging upon nearby branches. Then came the splashing of water and shouts of joyous relief. The coolness that greeted them soothed aching limbs and replenished tired minds. The labours of the day could be washed away here, and troubles forgotten. They laughed and yelled, feeling their spirits invigorated. On other occasions they would jump from the high rock faces above, but today they were content merely to paddle about.

The eldest of the three now moved slowly toward the falling water. He was tall and his build suggested one who had laboured hard over the past few years. His hair was cut short with a little stubble appearing about his chin. The two others gazed upon him for a moment but did not follow. They instead began jabbing and pushing at each other, until one fell. The other then proceeded to hold his friend’s head under water until he submitted. Although all three had now past sixteen and therefore come of age, they still enjoyed these childish moments. In the village they were expected to think and act like adults, but here they could allow themselves such foolish pleasures.

Orsiga stood before the cascading waters. The air was cool and inviting. Then he plunged inside, allowing his senses to be engulfed. The din of rushing water seemed to open his mind to thought, for he always came here during times of uncertainty. It was here that he could forget all pains and responsibilities. The fresh waters that now swept over his body provoked new perspectives and ideas. The simplicity of nature brought to him a fantastic clearness of vision. A sudden movement from beneath him caught his attention. A hand had latched onto his ankle and now pulled with great force. Unable to resist, Orsiga fell backwards immediately. He now found himself between the bedrock face and falling water. He looked up as the others burst through and appeared on either side of him. They were laughing now, mocking their toppled friend. Orsiga smiled but said nothing. He stretched out an arm to each of them, gesturing that he wished to be pulled up. They obliged this silent request, and grabbed onto his wrists. But without warning, as Orsiga took hold of their arms, he heaved them down will all the strength he could muster. Both fell instantly, apparently taken off guard. It was now Orsiga’s turn to laugh, and he did so in loud, hearty tones. The others soon joined in once more, all lifted in high spirits.

As the light began to darken, they strode on to land and collected their garments. It was an hour by foot to their village, and tonight they had a grand feast to attend. [/pre]
Last edited by ata87uk on Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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This was nice. Peaceful. The writing flowed well and it was very descriptive.

There wasn't any mistakes, but it did get a bit boring in the end. Nothing happened. There was no real point in this piece of writing.

I'm not sure this belongs in the Fantasy section. Unless there's more to come, you should get a mod to move it to Other Fiction.
*Don't expect to see me around much in the next couple of weeks. School has started again, and it'll be a couple of weeks before I've settled in. If you've asked me for a critique, you will get it, but not for a little while. Sorry*




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Oh yeah there is a lot more to come. Not sure why i posted that actually but i only just signed up to this website so I guess i just wanted to see how everything works. Thanks for the review anyway. I will get on with the first Chapter and post it all when it's done.




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This conveys the mood very well, but if something doesn't happen to hook the reader in the next paragraph then most people will lose interest.




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No need to review this anymore - check for "Gulvorian Tales"



Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
— Miles Kington