I would love to talk to all of you humans, but I just don't have that time to waste on something like that. You see, I am not lucky as you. All of you are humans and I ended up not being one. Creepy huh? Well I guess you will have to deal with it beacuse I am not telling you what I am and how in the world I found out about it. Oh okay, I'll tell you, but you are not to interrupt or you will never hear the end of the story.
These kinds of introductions have quickly become nothing short of a cliche. Just butcher this and begin your story straight away, because believe it or not, the plot makes me want to read the rest- not some low-register, chatty introduction!
Good luck, ill gladly read your actual story though.
Hmmm. This does sound like it will be an interesting novel but I agree that the introduction is unnecessary. Yes, it intrigues me and makes me want to read more but it's too short to be a prologue, on the verge of cliché and would perhaps work best on the back of a book? Yes, I think this would be great to go on the back of the book if it was expanded a little but why not start the story now and then I shall be able to give you a proper critique =)
