Two Crows Watch from the Gallows Tree (part 9)

Ky shook her head helplessly. Why was Sera apologizing? This was so confusing. Was she really this good at manipulating people? For her to do it without meaning to? She -- but -- and...

The hug helped. Ky crumpled against her before her pride had a chance to have a say in the matter. "I'm sorry."

"No." She shook her head, rubbing small circles into Ky's back. "There are a lot of people who need to make a lot of apologies, dear. You're not one of them right now."

That just wasn't true. Of all the people who needed to apologize for anything, she was at the very top of the list.

"N-oo," Ky's voice broke as she sobbed into Sera's chest, still hugging her tightly. "I keep making things worse and worse and... and... and now I'm blubbering for no reason... and..."

"No, Ky." Sera held her tighter, rocking her slightly. "You've known some terrible people in your short life. You've been taught things that are wrong, taught that you should be punished for doing virtually nothing. Aleth owes you more than an apology. Everyone who ever hurt you owes you that."

Ky sobbed harder.

Maybe that's what her problem was. That fucker. Michael had somehow managed to push Aleth back into her mind, even though he had nothing in Michael's nastiness and Michael had nothing in his.

The bad headspace from that.

The lack of sleep.

The fear of the troll.

The terror of incurring Gaius's wrath.

The fact that her stomach still hurt.

"I just... I... I want things to be okay again." She rubbed her face roughly. "And- and they're not. Nothing is okay. And... and I don't understand... and... I... I don't know how to fix it... he never taught me how to fix it.

"Sometimes just not trying and not worrying about trying is enough to let you open up to fixing it," Sera said. "Don't force it and it'll come in its own time." She kept rubbing her back. "I'm so sorry, Ky."

Ky clung to her for several more long moments, focusing on calming her breathing, and then slowly pulled away. "Thank you."

A twinge of pain shot up her abdomen. She grimaced and laid her arm across it. Why did her body have to break now? Couldn't it see she was busy? She wiped her face with her other hand, not realizing that she left her right arm still wrapped around herself.

Sera's brow furrowed. "Are you hurting?"

"No." She said it reflexively, but then squirmed as she realized she was lying. "I mean... it's not a big deal. I think I hurt myself but it's-- it's not a big deal. I can handle it."

"Where is it hurt?" Sera asked. "Why didn't you come to me?"

"Because it keeps happening randomly." Ky gestured at her lower abdomen. "It just started again yesterday. I think it's just... I don't know. It usually happens right before I start bleeding and I don't know why it's happening so many times it used to only be like two or three times a year and now it's every few weeks and I don't... it... it's fine. I can deal with it. I think I just hurt something."

Sera blinked at her. "You only bled two or three times a year?"

"Yeah?" she looked at her, worried. "Was that too much, too?"

"You're supposed to bleed once a month," Sera said slowly. "What on earth was he doing to you that you only bled twice a year?"

"What?" Ky was bewildered by both of those statements.