I Survived a Roleplay Realm Game Show

"Wow," was Carter's slow-spoken one-word reply as Jerica directed all of her puns at him. He could hear the sarcasm in her voice, but he could also tell she was likely dying inside as much as he was, having to stoop to making puns.

Hildegarde considered not answering Jerica's question about the cardigan she was working on. After all, Jerica had immediately gotten distracted by Carter (carter-gan?), so she probably wouldn't notice. And the answer was rather personal.

...But it also might startle Jerica enough to keep her from making fish puns for a few seconds.

"Thank you, Mel, your su-port is too kind, but we sheer-tainly haven't seen the sun set on Ms. Jerica yet. If I might slide in an an-shore to her ins-eye-tful question, sky, yes, knitting rather helps me reflect. As for the dirt-y details, well..."

Hildegarde dropped the lighthearted, punny cadence. "...I'm knitting this cardigan for my late husband."

She smiled. "At this cara-pace, it'll be ready for his trunk in a few rays."

"Wow, that's jaw-some." Jerica's voice broke. She couldn't take this anymore. Every pun that she said took a year off her life. At this rate, she was pretty sure she was supposed to have died before she was born. She took a deep breath. Just get a few more out. "I'm sorry for the g-reef you must be f-eel-ing. I know it's nautilus much, but for what it's worth, I th-ink you're a great chum. I'd chews you--"

She couldn't. Her body just refused. Whether she started whimpering or snickering she wasn't sure. All she knew was that they'd finally broken her mind along with her will to live. She covered her face and did whatever it was that she was doing.

Hildegarde winced as Jerica slumped over, succumbing to her... shame? Hatred of puns? She felt sorry for the poor girl. Hopefully she'd be able to pretend it had been a fever dream when all this was over.

"Thank you kindly for your condo-lences," she said, genuinely meaning it. "But he passed almost ten years ago. I'm actually rather enthusi-asiatic, as isle be re-surf-ecting him next week."

It was a weak last punning effort, but they were almost out of time, and saying aloud what the cardigan in her lap represented brought the weight of the situation to bear. In a week, her husband would be alive again... assuming she got out of here soon. And that her powers came back when she did.

First the kraken, and now this. The kraken had been fun, and had only delayed them a few hours. But this time, Hildegarde really, truly, just wanted to be left alone long enough to go home.

"TIME'S UP!" K.K. shouted in his telltale squeaky voice. Once again, things on the stage shifted. The crab song came to a fading halt, Hildegarde and Jerica's seats zoomed back with the other contestants, and the spotlight shifted to K.K., who was rising up on circular platform.

"By now you know the drill! Audience members, head over to the OOC Thread and submity your votes for who did the WORST along with questions for these two contestants! Get to it!"

Credits started rolling, and a stood popped up beneath K.K., and he started playing what seemed to be the themed song while they waited for votes to roll in.

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Who was the WORST pun master?

Quick information before you cast your vote!

Have you paid your 199 carina soundofmind nickels?

You must be at least 1 month old and be a YWS citizen.

TAG! GO VOTE!
@Carina
@veeren
@soundofmind
@Vincian
@SpiritedWolfe
@SirenCymbaline

AND ANYONE ELSE EXCEPT THE FOLLOWING:
Mea
ShadowVyper

The chair she was sitting on being yanked backward snapped her out of it. She uncovered her face and stared straight ahead.

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She didn't have enough mental power left to feel anything but vaguely ashamed of herself. Everything else was hollowness. She never thought she'd sink to these depths. Ever. In her entire life.

But, anything was worth it for a win, right?

Jerica blinked and looked at the scoreboard and saw... Hildy winning? It couldn't be. She had come up with so many more puns. The old woman was just playing on people's sympathies. And it was working.

Jerica didn't have the energy to even be angry about it. She was too dead inside. She slowly turned her head to look at Lordy. "Rum?"

Lordy looked at Jerica and realized how much the pun battle really took out of her.

"You know what," he pulled out his flask and took a sip before handing it over to her, "You deserve this."

Corrick stepped out onto a side entrance and was rushed back onto his seat by some invisible force. She glanced around, and nudged Amy Mel. "Strong magic churns my insides. What did I miss?"

"I was expecting a poo-r poo-formance," Carter said, leaning over the arm of his chair to look at Jerica. "But that was actually quite impeesive."

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Vincian wrote:#truthordare

Hiii sound! Sooo I dare you to write your next kk rp post in only peepeepoopoo puns or tell me your most embarrassing roleplay story (and don't forget to share with the world )

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Corrick just stared at Mel. "You're not the brightest, are you?"

He sighed and slumped in his chair as a moving image floated above her head. Someone poisoned him. Dear gods, please let that be the case.

Did this lady just take someone's alcohol and toss it at Corrick? To be honest, Corrick's writer did not know but they were just taking a shot in the dark. Corrick stood abruptly and looked at the mess that were his clothes now. He smelled like sh**** liquor, and he hated that smell. He glared at Mel, growling.

"How dare you?"

"The gods bless you, Lordy." Jerica gratefully took a drink of the rum he passed to her. It took the edge off... well, it blunted the edge. It was still very much there. She passed it back to Lordy, then scowled as it suddenly went flipping through the air.

"WHY WOULD YOU--" Jerica was on her feet in an instant. Apparently, she had one thing in common with Corrick. At least in this moment.

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Someone was getting beat for this atrocity -- this, this crime against humanity. But, more important than humanity, against her. The rum was a finite source and she had a distinct feeling she was going to need more of it.

She angrily started forward but then the... chair? grabbed her. It wasn't even the force this time. The arm of her chair reached out and wrapped around her hips, yanking her back into it as it started across the stage.

Jerica yelped, clawing at the arms of the chair. It didn't hurt, but it sure wasn't welcome, either. She felt so trapped. So... violated. Panic surged through her as she whooshed across the stage, all thoughts of the rum left behind.

She stopped in front of the wombats -- Timmy and Tommy.

"And now for your questions...questions, Jerica ...-ica!" the chipmunks squeaked in not-quite-unison. "We have audience member soundnana who asks, What's the most amount of weight you've lifted? You're so strong!"

Jerica smiled a bit despite herself. It was a pity question -- just to stroke her ego. But her ego needed a little pick-me-up just about then. "I once held a foal while I climbed out of the pit it'd fallen into. I'm not sure your units of measurement in this realm, but it weighed more than I do."

A whisper scattered across the crowd, but whether it was good or not she couldn't tell.

"Awwwwwww!...Awwwwww!" the foxes cooed. "The next question is from veersies who asked i know you were having a really crabby time out there but is there any way you can ashore us that this isnt the finish line for you?... you?

Jerica's scowl returned instantly. Soundnana's wholesome moment was ruined in the blink of an eye, just like that. She'd thought this hell was over, but no. Now they had to re-watch the nightmare. Add to the puns.

She turned her head to stare directly into the camera. "Go die."

An ooo ran through the crowd.

"Okay, moving on... on!" the badgers said. "Rina asks Why do you have a stick up your butt?... butt?"

"I want it nearby so I can beat you with it." She didn't even hesitate. "Come on down and I'll you. And bring veersies with you."

A louder OOOOOO rippled through the crowd.

"Oh-ho-ho okay MOVING ON... ON!" Even the prairie dogs seemed a little nervous as they shuffled through their papers for the next question. "Wolfe asks, Have you ever made someone sleep with the fishes?... fishes?"

Jerica smirked. At least someone in this realm recognized talent when they saw it. Saw what she was truly capable of. "Fishes don't deserve to have their home littered with [BLEEP]... but I'll make an exception rina and veersies."

She hadn't thought the OOOO could get any louder, but it somehow managed it, even though this time it was interspersed with snickers.

"Hope that chair's holding on tight... tight!" the mongooses squeaked. "Last question from Omnomonana What do you think about pegs?... pegs?"

Jerica had a vague feeling that she'd heard something about pegs in the past. She wasn't quite sure what it'd been -- or what it meant -- but she remembered it'd been a wildly uncomfortable implication. "Know what? Changed my mind. I'll make an exception for Omnomonana too."

"Oookay then... then!" The muskrats chuckled nervously. "There you have it... it! Straight from the sassassin's mouth...mouth!"

As suddenly as she'd been yeeted towards the otters, she was ripped away again. She fought with her chair as she fell back into place next to Lordy. She looked towards him, pleading. "Wake me up from this nightmare and I'll make you a king. I need out."

Lordy watched in horror as his cherished flask fell to the floor, the last of its contents falling out with it.

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