The Fateful Heart

Evaline stepped back and crossed her arms, watching James crumple to the ground in pain. Her expression was cool and unaffected. She didn't get to see him in pain like this last time she poked him, but if this week's events told her anything, it was that James was a very good actor who can hide the pain deceptively well.

She was having none of this. It was time he admitted he was in pain and needed rest.

"... Let's go," she said after a long pause, turning her heel to untie Elliot's reins and lead the way herself.

"Get up on your feet. We're going to the ditch and staying there until you're well-rested, whether you want to or not."

If it was going to be like this... James wouldn't argue. He let out a pained wheeze and got up, not looking her in the eyes.

"Fine," he said through his teeth, still holding his side. "Let's go, then."

"Fine," Evaline repeated with the same irate tone. "Follow me."

She took Elliot's reins and started leading the way. For the entirety of the hike, only Elliot's loud clops were heard. They didn't speak to one another, and she didn't even glance back to make sure he was still there, which essentially forced him to keep up with her so he wouldn't fall behind.

Eventually they make it to the ditch, and Evaline was relieved that it really did exist and she remembered the way. She didn't even want to think how embarrassing it would be if she lead him nowhere.

"Okay, we're here," she said, tying Elliot's reins to a tree. She took the liberty to fish around the saddlebag to pull out a blanket.

"Here," she said, turning around to face him for the first time since she put him in a chokehold, but she didn't even hesitate to throw the blanket at him. "Get some rest. I'll stay nearby the entire time."

James didn't catch the blanket. He stumbled to a stop and bent down to pick it up with his face stiff, drawn in stone in his best attempt to hide the pain, now that Evaline was watching.

He spread out the blanket on the ground and laid down, not bothering to pull it over him. Once he was on his back, he stayed there.

Fine. If he was going to be forced to rest, he would rest. But he didn't expect sleep to come, and he didn't know if he wanted it to.

"Thank you," he muttered from the ground, though it was barely audible.

Evaline sat some eyesight distance away from James, purposefully giving him space to stew over his thoughts while he tried to sleep, but still be close enough that she could run over to him if he needed help.

She took a few deep breaths as she allowed herself to relax and lean back against the dirt. Although she told him that they would stay here until he was well-rested, she knew that the real truth was quantitative: they couldn't stay here past a day. Any more than that, and they would be losing even more precious distance they had put between Butch.

Evaline glanced back at James laying down, hoping that he would go to sleep and not be woken up by any nightmares.

James laid down for a very long time, with his eyes closed, wishing for a distraction from everything, but he was too tired, and in too much to think. His mind was wrapped in a foggy haze for what felt like hours until he finally drifted off, and another memory returned to him.

The note. Them discussing it. Him, having to convince her of what it meant, and him gradually, watching her break down as the truth sunk in. And then...

"If it comes to it," he said. "I would gladly let you travel with me if you wanted, for however long you need. Even if that means forever. But I don't think we have to plan for that just yet. We'll take this one day at a time, and we can talk about this more. We don't have to try to figure it all out right now. Okay?"

He watched as Evaline teared up, with his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she said as she wiped away tears. "I'm not usually like this, I'm just..."

And then she rushed forward, wrapping her arms around him gently, and resting her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you," she whispered.

It took him a moment to return the hug, rubbing her back gently with his thumb, back and forth.

"Of course," he said back, quietly. "You're going to be okay."

They were quiet for a moment as they hugged, and James let Evaline lean into him. When she pulled away she sniffed again, avoiding his gaze.

"Do you understand why magic brought me to you now?" she asked.

And he laughed.

“Trust me, I don’t understand much about magic,” he said with a smile, shaking his head and turning to get them moving again. At a slow pace for now.

“But I can’t complain about it sending me good com—“

A dog howled in the distance. James knew where this led. He'd just hadn't known how it started.

He knew where the dream was going. He was convinced of it. Preparing himself for it. But then, it skipped.

Evaline was lost in her own thoughts for a while, but when she looked over at James, she noticed he was out cold. She didn't think much of it; she was glad he was finally getting some sleep.

Maybe an hour passed, and he was still in his original position. She realized this week that he seemed to toss and turn early in his sleep, perhaps from insomnia or bad dreams, or both. He didn't seem to do that this time.

Feeling a bit restless, she returned to her feet and began to pace up and down the ditch, passing sleeping James numerous times, and noticing each time that he was perfectly still. Of course, she wanted him to sleep. But he didn't even jerk awake once. Did that mean he wasn't having any nightmares anymore? Or maybe he just didn't let it affect him anymore? Or maybe he was dreaming of something else? Normal dreams? Or... other memories? Her memories. Well, his. She kind of stole them, in a way. But they were hers now.

She needed a distraction.

She climbed out of the ditch and walked over to Elliot, now instinctively approaching him at an angle he could see her. "You're glad James is getting some sleep too, aren't you, boy?" she cooed, petting his mane. She found herself glancing over her shoulder to see if James heard her, but of course, he was still asleep.

Maybe that was a good thing, because she could really use some practice to get up on the saddle by herself. And that's exactly what she did: practice getting up on Elliot, up and down, repeating it over and over until she could seamlessly do it while retaining good balance. She even untied Elliot's reins from the tree and practiced slowly riding him around, guiding him through the nearby trees. Evaline found herself beaming, glad that she was able to do this from the bits of pieces of lessons James taught her the past two weeks, although she knew that she had a long ways to go before she could confidently ride Elliot while he was riding.

"Good job, buddy," she said proudly, reaching in the saddle bag to pull out an apple for him, only to accidentally fish for a knife instead. She pulled it out and stared at it before returning it and finding the apple to feed to Elliot.

She was petting his snout as he chomped away, but she couldn't stop staring at the saddle bag. What exactly was in there, anyways? It was none of her business, but... James was going to be asleep for who knows how long, and well, she kind of had to eat and drink water at some point.

After a brief hesitation, she approached the bag and peered in. A lot of it was things she knew he had: clothes, cooking utensils, bandages, soap, food. The most interesting item she found were bullets, which made her raise a brow. Did James even have a gun?

Her hands eventually fell upon his journal she had used as a sketchbook, and although a part of her was very curious to read its contents, she knew how important privacy was. Still, curiosity got the best of her, and she quickly flipped through the pages -- not to read it, but to see what was in it. She passed lots of writing, and some of it looked like it had stanzas like the note. Perhaps poetry. In between the writings were some drawn pictures.

Figuring there wasn't any harm in looking at his art, she stopped at a drawing of a horse. Elliot. She smiled as her finger lightly traced over it, like she was trying to follow each stroke of his pencil so she could understand how he drew. He was decent at drawing. She didn't really draw anything other than people, so it was probably better than what she could do.

Eventually she flipped through the rest of the book and landed on maps tucked away on a page. She unfolded one and studied it, trying to memorize their placements.

He's trying to escape the Moonlight Kingdom, over there, and we're going to cross over the desert to go to Lettera. Which means... we'll cross the Outlands.

After feeling confident that the map is now a permanent file in her memory, she put it back in the book and leafed through the rest of the pages, landing on the last page. Her drawings.

She let out soft smile before closing the journal and putting everything away to their rightful places, returning back to the ditch to check on James.

Not that she needed to. He was exactly where she left him, even after all these hours. Was he... okay?

A terrifying thought crossed her mind that he wasn't even alive.

She quickly ran over to him, kneeling beside him and putting a finger under his nose to check if he was breathing... And he was. A wave of relief washed through her, but just for extra measure, she checked his pulse too. She didn't want to wake him up by the touch, but by some miracle, he didn't even wake up or flinch. Just... slept. Like a rock.

Well, at least she knew he was still alive, and finally getting the rest he deserved.

Deciding to shed some more energy, she returned back to her feet to climb back up the ditch and look for some food. There were berry bushes and tree nuts nearby, and although she wasn't an expert forager, James told her just enough for her to recognize which ones were safe to eat.

She foraged until she ran out of room in her pockets and hands, and then she returned back to the ditch. James still didn't move. It was quite amazing, really. Probably a rare sight to ever see him be this much of a deep sleeper.

After eating her share of the food, she piled the rest of it on to a open corner of his blanket for him to wake up. She also left the canteen of water next to him.

Sighing, Evaline finally sat down a couple feet away from him, leaning back against the dirt again. It was maybe an hour or two until sundown. She'll have to figure out other ways to entertain herself if he goes into the night, but for now, since she was alone with her thoughts, she'll just have to think about the things she had been avoiding to think about a while now: the future.

This time, he was looking at himself through another pair of eyes. He understood in a moment, that they were Eve's. They were lying in the grass, and he knew it was the night that they played that game. The night that the rest of the note appeared. The night that the nightmares started.

"... You can go again," he said. "I don't have any questions."

He wasn't looking at her, but up at the stars.

She rolled over, facing away from him, looking at the campfire in the distance. It was strange seeing this from her perspective when he knew he was right beside her.

"Okay then," she said quietly, trying to hide the shakiness of her voice. "Let's do one last round."

She paused for a long time before quietly starting up again.

"I have seen a friend's death. I have seen my own death. I have seen your death."

He could hear the shift beside her as he got up. The silence spoke volumes, and then he broke it.

"Evaline..." his voice wavered. "What happened?"

"Butch caught up to us," she said. "The lie is seeing my death," she said instead, almost a whisper. "I always jump back in time before I can die."

It was hitting him again. Even though he couldn't see himself, as she was still facing away, he could feel it in his bones. The tension and anxiety that filled the air was palpable.

"You--" his voice cut off. Then there was a hand on Evaline's shoulder - it was his own. She didn't respond. And after a moment, he pulled her up into a hug, and she started sobbing uncontrollably.

It jumped to his perspective. He was holding her, and she was crying, and crying, and crying. He hugged her, so similar to before. But this was different.

"I'm here, now," he whispered.

"I'm sorry. That you had to carry that burden alone. I will do everything in my power to make sure you stay safe," he said. "That we stay safe."

He stared out into the darkness of night, picturing the fate that could catch up to them once again.

"I promise."

And then it ended. Abruptly, like there was nothing that followed after. Like it was erased, and all that was left was a feeling he couldn't quite place.

Sadness. A wistful longing. Camaraderie? There was some sort of connection... nuanced, and different. Something Evaline undid, not on purpose, but on accident.

He'd promised to protect her. This was the conversation she tried to tell him about before, but didn't tell in detail. They'd talked about him dying, but it hadn't just been about him. It had been about her.

The strange feeling stirred in his stomach as he felt the beginnings of wakefulness. This wasn't like the other nightmares. These were lost memories, but they didn't sting with the pain of death. There was a different lingering pain.

Evaline held a lot inside, didn't she?

He did too.

He opened his eyes to daylight, but from a different angle. The sun had once shone from one direction, and now strayed towards the horizon. It took a moment for his eyes to focus as he took in the vision of branches outstretched above him, and the bright blue sky pattered with thinly dotted clouds.

James grunted as he started to sit up. He felt heavy, still, like sleep was clinging to his eyelids, even though his mind was waking. But he did feel... better.

He looked to his left and saw Evaline, sitting a few feet away, leaning back on the wall of dirt of the ditch, looking off to the side in thought.

The sun was lowering, through the trees, and spots of light dotted her features through the leaves. He noticed how her bright blue eyes caught the light when she looked at him, and wisps of loose, dark, hair framed her face.

She looked bored. He must've been out for hours.

"Hey," he said, testing his voice. It sounded terrible, and his throat was dry. It was then that he felt the dry, crusted drool in his stubble. He turned away and wiped at his mouth. How much had he drooled? She had to have seen. Trying to hide it now would be pointless. But still, he was embarrassed.

He rubbed his face with a quick brush of his sleeve before looking back at her.

"Nothing eventful happened while I was out, did it?"

Evaline was deep in thought but was interrupted by James's voice. She never thought she'd be glad to hear him call out in such a dull and boring circumstance.

She turned to face him as he seemed to wipe away any crusty remnants of sleep. The bags underneath his eyes were slightly less dark, although it was so deep to begin with, it would take several more sessions of this before they would totally disappear.

"Not really," she said. "Other than the fact that you were out cold."

She paused, giving off a playful smile. "I even checked to make sure you weren't dead. You were not, in case you wanted to know."

"Ah-hah," James half-laughed as he rubbed his eyes. "Thanks for checking."

He sat up straight and stretched out his arms, trying to shake off sleepy stiffness.

"What did you do while I was out?" he asked, looking up into the sky.

"Not too much," Evaline said softly, thinking of what she did while she waited for him to wake up. She'd have to make sure to not mention that she lightly snooped through his things.

"Well, I guess some things happened. I practiced riding Elliot. I think I can get on the saddle by myself. I can't ride him very fast, but it's a start."

She sat up straight, gesturing to the pile of berries and nuts near him. "I also foraged you some food. I figured you'd be hungry when you wake up."

James looked down on the blanket at the pile of berries and nuts, and he couldn't help but feel proud of Evaline. She'd foraged. She'd ridden Elliot (and Elliot looked fine, and neither of them had gotten hurt). She was learning from him, and it was such a small thing, but a small smile came to his face and his chest felt warm with pride.

He turned so he was facing her, and picked up some of the berries to eat.

"Good guess," he said, plopping some in his mouth. "Did you get any food for yourself?"

Evaline nodded. "I did."

She found her finger twirling a short strand of hair that had escaped the braid.

"How do you feel?" she asked. "Do you need more sleep?"

James found himself starting to eat rather quickly, but he stopped to pace himself when Evaline asked more questions. He chewed quickly and swallowed.

"I think I'm alright, for now," he said.

He paused, looking at the ground.

"Sorry I was... difficult. And didn't listen to you. You were right. I needed to rest."

"That's okay," she said with a sympathetic smile. "I'm just glad you're rested now."

She looked down for a few seconds before returning to look back in his direction, trying to think of what to say. She knew what she wanted to know, but at the same time, she didn't want to outright ask it.

"So, you're sleeping fine now then? No more staying up all night?"